iLeft For Love
by Priincess Starlight
Summary: Sam can't let go of her past. She remembers every moment she spent back in Seattle.. but she just couldn't stay. But now she's forced to come back and face the facts. Rated M for lemons. Read & Review! ...or else I don't know whether you like it or not!
1. iHave A Dream

A/N: Hey guys.. so I'm new to this whole fanfic thing… actually I just made this account a few days ago but due to a two day wait period for new members, I couldn't post a story until now. Anyways, this is my first ever fan fiction and I hope you like it. Please read and leave reviews. I'm trying to build up the storyline and I am eager to hear what you guys think. (One review on every chapter is much appreciated. Thanks!)

Disclaimer: I am NOT Dan nor do I own iCarly... I wish I did.. he's making loads of money you know... but I'm just having fun!

[Oh and btw it's from Sam's point of view but you would've figured that out anyways]

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><p><p>

iHave a Dream

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><p><strong>We were back on that fire escape. The fire escape that started it all. I looked down and saw Lewbert yelling at some lady with a stroller. <strong>_**'Stupid Lewbert' **_**I thought to myself. Just than Freddie put his arms around my waist and hugged me from behind. It took me off guard but it felt nice. Then when I least expected it, he twirled me around, keeping his arms around my waist. Our lips were so close to each other… just centimeters apart yet it felt like his lips were so far from mine. "What are you thinking Sam?" he asked to me. I was too lost in his eyes to be able to put words together. I just shrugged. **

"**Come on Sam, you've been quiet all evening and that's not like you at all. What's wrong baby?" he asked. I couldn't do this. I couldn't tell him. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. He snapped his fingers, "Sam, you okay?" he asked. I realized I had lost myself in my own thoughts. **

**I nodded and said, "Yeah. No. I mean, I'm fine Freddie." I tried to smile but I couldn't bring myself to feign a smile. Not here. Not now. So I just turned away and looked up at the stars. **

"**You sure nothing is wrong?" He asked coming towards me again. I loved how sweet he was. Always trying to make me happy. Always taking care of me. I couldn't think of a single reason Carly didn't want to be with him. But whatever. He's mine now. "Sam?" He asked again.**

**I wanted to tell him the truth. It was eating at me. But I couldn't. I didn't want to burden him and telling him this would be nothing less of a burden. "Seriously Freddork, I'm okay. I just can't believe how quickly time is passing." I said to him, being half honest. **

**He put his arm on my shoulders, looked up at the sky and said, "I know what you mean. Seems like just the other day we had our first kiss on this very fire escape… and it feels like just yesterday was the lock-in when you kissed me. It took us two years and three months to go from our first kiss to our second kiss." he paused, looked at me lovingly and continued, "Now look at us. Almost a year and half since we've been dating and soon we start our senior year." He chuckled, "who knew we of all people would fall in love with each other?" I looked at him and could not help but smile.**

**He put his fingers through my hair and once brought his face to mine. "I love you Samantha Puckett." he said. Hearing him say my full name still made me cringe. I slapped his arm.**

"**I thought I told you to never call me that." I said through my gritted teeth. He laughed and put his arms around my neck and brought his lips close to mine, '**_**finally Freddork' **_**I thought to myself. His lips felt so soft and his touch made my body shiver. Just when I thought the kiss couldn't get any better, Freddie slowly pushed his tongue into my mouth making our kiss all the more passionate and lustful. Nothing could be better than this. **

Suddenly the alarm clock went off. I turned over to look at my alarm clock. In big bright numbers it read 8:30AM. _'Chiz, I'm going to be late' _I thought to myself. _'Classes have been over for about two weeks now so I'm used to waking up late and now look at me. I'm about to be late to one of the most important moments of my life.'_ I sat up in my bed remembering what I just dreamt of. That dream wasn't just a dream. It was something that already happened. Something that I will never forget.


	2. iGet An Award

iGet An Award

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><p>I got out of bed and rushed to the bathroom to shower and get ready. I was trying to list everything I had to do in my head but couldn't stop thinking of that dream and of my past.<p>

It's been almost six years since I've been back home. Six years since I've seen the people I love with my whole heart. Six long and painful years.

I never thought that I would be one of those girls who up and left everything. But I had to leave. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Especially when I have dreams like those. Those dreams that are flashbacks of the amazing life and perfect love that I once had. The dreams of my past. It saddens me to remember but not a single day goes by when I don't remember… when I can't remember. I wish I hadn't left Seattle. But I really had to. It was for the best.

I still remember the day which I dreamt of last night clearly. I remember every detail of that night to this day. That was our last time on that fire escape. It was late summer of 2012 when Freddie and I were under those stars in each other's arms. We had come back from one of Carly's infamous hobo parties… the party was great but there was just too much on my mind so Freddie and I left early. He tried to talk to me that night but I couldn't tell him the truth. Our time together was numbered but he didn't know that. I never gave him a proper goodbye. Actually I never gave anyone a proper goodbye. I just… left.

I was lost in thought when there was a knock on the bathroom door. Lucy stood at the door with her hands on her hips. "Aren't you ready yet?" she groaned.

"Almost done. I swear." I said quickly.

She gave me an annoyed look and replied, "We're going to be late! Come on hurry!" and with that she stormed off. I looked at the clock in the bathroom and it was already 8:45. I couldn't be late. Not today.

Today was an important day. Today _New York Times_ was holding a brunch in my honor. The award was for being the youngest writer in their paper for the past five years. I couldn't believe how far I've come in life. I was getting an award. From a prestigious paper, none the less. I quickly got ready and left with Lucy.

We got to the restaurant where the brunch was being held. The venue looked breath taking. So beautiful. And it was all for me. Lucy and I sat down. The buffet looked so good. No. This wasn't the time to think of food. First speech then food. My stomach twisted in a knot when I thought of having to give a speech. I'm used to people watching me and talking in front of crowds. That wasn't the issue. I just was nervous I would get all choked up and emotional during the speech. And Sam Puckett does NOT get emotional. Especially in front of people. That's for weaklings. And Sam Puckett is anything but weak.

George Smithsonian, the head of the newspaper gave a small speech then welcomed me up to the stage. Lucy hugged me and whispered into my ear, "Don't be afraid. You'll knock them out of their socks." I couldn't help but smile. If it weren't for Lucy's encouragement all these years, everything would have been ten times harder.

I got up on stage and I began to talk…

"Good morning everyone. I am Sam Puckett, the anonymous columnist behind 'Ask Sam'. I am truly grateful that you all are here today. I was barely seventeen years old when I left my home back in Seattle and came to New York City. I had barely anything. I had no money and no job but luck was on my side and I found Monica, the beautiful redhead sitting at this table in front of me."

Monica waved to the rest of the audience. Boy, did I owe this woman. I continued with my speech.

"I met Monica on the train, on the Times Square stop, the first night that I got here. I was lost, cause you know how hard those NYC MTA maps are, unless you're a New Yorker and I asked for her help. Monica and I began to talk and I told her about my journey. Why I left home and how I was trying to make it on my own. Monica sympathized with me and gave me her card. In case I ever needed any help. She was like an angel sent directly from heaven. She helped me find the right high school so I could get my diploma, she helped me internship here at this newspaper, and she even helped me find a place to live. While I was interning here at the New York Times, I was an assistant to the old advice columnist who quit in haste. I didn't want to lose my internship so I began answering the questions that readers sent and you know where it went from there. When the editors found out that it was I who was writing these articles, they insisted I become a part of the New York Times team. I owe a lot to Monica and this news paper. The New York Times helped pay for my college and here I am, with a bachelor's degree in biology and I just finished my first year of medical school. Trust me, I can not believe it. Back in Seattle, you couldn't get me to do my own homework and look at me now. I am so grateful to this paper and I also want to thank Lucy, that beautiful girl in the pink dress over there. For all these years, she's been my strength. Thank you all."

I finished my speech, holding back my tears. Everyone stood up and applauded me. I even saw some people with tears. I smiled and then sat down. Finally when all the speeches and talking was done, I ran to the buffet to stuff my face with food. The plaque that I was awarded is nice, but the food is better.


	3. iVideo Chat

_iVideo Chat_

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><p>Lucy and I came home overly tired. The brunch took a lot out of us. So many people to talk to. So many hands to shake. But now we were back in the comfort of our own home. "I'm tired. I'm going to go take a nap." Lucy said to me.<p>

"Okay. Happy napping." I said to her. She walked into her room and shut the door behind her. _'Perfect time to call Melanie. I hope she's online.' _I thought to myself.

A while after I left Seattle I came across an email from Melanie. She was so upset that I had left without any goodbye and that I had not contacted her, as she was away at prep school when I left. I knew that she didn't deserve this. I was her sister… her twin sister none the less and as her sister, I could not just disappear from her life for good. I promised to video call her weekly as long as she didn't ask too many questions about where I am, because I didn't want anyone to find me until I was ready, which I was sure that I would never be, and I also made her promise that under no circumstances would she tell Freddie or Carly that she had contact with me. I felt video chat was the best way to keep in touch without her finding my location.

I turned on my Pear laptop and signed onto video calling. I saw Melanie was online and I was excited to tell her about my award, although I couldn't go too into detail and that I had gotten A's in all my classes this last semester. I did tell Mel that I was in medical school and she was as shocked as the next person. I will admit, this wasn't your ordinary Sam Puckett move… but a lot of what I have done in the past six years hasn't been.

I clicked on Mel's username to call her and it rang for a while until finally the call was answered. The picture was coming unclear and for a few seconds I saw nothing but a black screen. Then finally the picture cleared up and it was him.

'_Oh chiz… its HIM' _I thought to myself.

"Sam! Is that you?" I heard Freddie say. _'I'm going to kill Melanie!' _I thought. "SAM!" I heard him say again.

"Sorry. No. I… sorry." I blabbered. "I have to go!"

I was about to close the window when I hear him scream "NO! Sam. Please listen to me."

"I can't Freddie. I'm sorry. I just am not ready to face you yet. God I'm going to kill Melanie. She probably blurted out that she still has contact with me and here you are. I can't do this. I have to go. Tell Mel I called her." I said. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Sam…" Freddie said, "Melanie had an accident."

Those very words made my heart sink. "WHAT!" I almost screamed, then remembering that Lucy was in the other room exhausted. "Why didn't you tell me before!" asked as I began to stutter.

"Like you gave me an opportunity to say anything." he said. "Look Sam, Melanie was in a car accident this morning."

Those words were like a nightmare come true to me. Mel? In an accident? I didn't know what to do. My sister was laying in a hospital bed in Seattle and here I was all the way in New York City. _'She needs me.' _I thought to myself.

I looked onto the screen of the Pear lap top to see Freddie staring back at me. The boy I loved so much over the past few years… whom I never stopped loving… had grown up so much.

"I gotta go. Sorry." I said as I rushed off the laptop. I could tell he was about to say something when I cut him off and exited from the video chat.

"Time to go home." I said to myself in a low whisper. I had not other choice. This was for my sister. She needed me. I went into my room to pack my bags. After almost six years it was time to go home. Time to go face my biggest fears. Time to let the truth come out.


	4. iAm Ready To Leave

iAm Ready To Leave

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><p>I had just finished packing when Lucy came into my room. "What are you doing?" she asked while rubbing her eyes.<p>

"I'm packing a suitcase." I said as I sat on the corner of the bed. She hopped on the bed and sat down next to me.

"Packing your bags?" she asked. I nodded. "Why? Where are you going?"

I looked to the floor and answered, "Home."

A huge grin came across Lucy's face. "Home!" she exclaimed. "Do I get to come along too?" she asked excited.

"No. Sorry Lucy, this isn't a vacation that I can take you with me on. Its something serious."

"Are you really going to leave me behind?"

"Well you will have Monica with you while I'm gone." I replied.

"No! That's not fair. Just two months ago you got to go away for that weekend and you didn't take me along." she exclaimed.

"Lucy… you know I had to go to DC for class. If it was on vacation or for fun, you know I would definitely take you along."

"Well I don't care. I'm coming with you. There's no way you're leaving me behind this time. You wouldn't dare." Lucy said to me.

Boy does that girl have some guts. Back in Seattle no one would have dared to talk to me like that. But I guess Lucy and I had a mutual understanding within each other and there was a lot of respect between the two of us.

"Fine Luce. You win. Let's go pack your bags."

I helped Lucy pack her bags and then I called Monica to tell her that Lucy and I would be going back to Seattle for a while and that I would be writing my pieces there and emailing them in to her for publishing. I told her what had happened with Mel and she booked our flight. Then it struck me… in less than ten hours I would be back in Seattle.


	5. iRemember Our First Time

iRemember Our First Time

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><p>Row 2. Row 3. Aaah here we go… row 4. Lucy and I sat down in our seats getting comfortable when a couple came up to us and told us that we were in their seats. "There must be a confusion…" I began to say when the flight attendant came up to us and asked if everything was okay. The couple told her that we were in their seats and the attendant asked to see our tickets.<p>

She looked at the tickets and said, "Oh I'm sorry Miss. Pickett, but you seem to be in the wrong seat." Just when I was about to say that Lucy and I were in seat A and B, row 4 she continued, "These seats are 4A and 4B but your seats are A4A and A4B… that's in first class."

"Oh…" I said, getting up and taking my and Lucy's luggage out of the over seat compartment. "I'm sorry." The couple smiled and said it was no problem as the flight attendant helped carry our suitcases to first class and helped us to our seats. _'Oh the wonders of working for the Times.' _I thought in my head. Being seated in first class was just one of the very many perks that writing for that newspaper had.

I sat down and got comfy once more and it time it was much easier. The seats were bigger and leather, giving me more space and I was easily able to relax. A few minutes after takeoff, I look to my right and see Lucy asleep. _'If only I could rest that easily.' _I thought to myself.

I looked out the window and watched as our plane left LaGuardia Airport and watched the sun set above the New York skyline. The sight was breathtaking and it reminded me of my one year anniversary with Freddie. I closed my eyes and I could still see it in my head like it happened just yesterday.

**"Do you trust me?" I could hear Freddie ask.**

**"Yeah, of course I do. But where are we? And why am I blindfolded?" I asked. Freddie was an amazing guy and an even better boyfriend but sometimes his random acts would just confuse the chiz out of me.**

**"Okay just follow my voice and walk slowly. We're almost there." Freddie whispered.**

**"Well if you whisper then I can't hear you!" **

**"Sam just shush." I couldn't believe he just hushed me. "Okay, small steps." I could feel the breeze and I knew Freddie was bringing me back to the balcony. "Okay. We're almost there." he said.**

**I was just about to grab Freddie's hand when he picked me up, carrying me through the window. My body tingled as I felt his body up against mine. I shoved my face into his chest. Oh boy did his chest feel nice. He no longer was the scrawny little tech producer on iCarly. Now he was my hot nerdy boyfriend. He was still a nerd and a tech geek but he was my nerd. Soon I felt Freddie put me down and I wished I could be in his arms again. Freddie kissed my cheek and then he took off the blindfold.**

**I looked around and was mind blown. "Oh.. my.. Gosh Freddork! This is so beautiful." I exclaimed. The balcony was filled with at least a hundred red roses and white candles. It looked so romantic. Right a scene right out of a romantic movie. I turned back to see Freddie smiling. **

**"So you like baby?" he asked raising his right eyebrow. God, he looked so hot when he did that.**

**"Like it? I LOVE IT!" I exclaimed. "This is the best surprise ever! You did this all by yourself?"**

**"Yup."**

**I walked towards him and gave him a quick tap on the lips. "Well it's amazing." I said.**

**"I'm glad you like it. I thought you'd find it cheesy." he laughed.**

**Normally I would find these sorts of things cheesy. Normally I would find our whole date from tonight cheesy. Romantic candle lit dinner on the beach. Outdoors film under the stars. A horse drawn carriage. Everything we did tonight felt like it was straight out of a fairytale and normally I would laugh in the face of all this cheesiness. But not tonight. Tonight was special. Tonight was our night.**

**"No baby. Not cheesy at all. Tonight was perfect." I said before I kissed him passionately. I felt his hands slide down from my back to my ass. His soft hands felt so nice.**

**"Well the night is still young." he whispered into my ear. Then he quickly spun me around to face the streets below us. The city lights gleamed so beautifully. Freddie put his arms around my waist and I leaned my head on his shoulder. Freddie was right. The night was still young and it was meant for us to just be in each other's arms. Me and my Freddork. The moment couldn't get any more perfect. "Look up he whispered." Right before he kissed my right cheek.**

**I looked up to see an airplane flying over us. The plane began to swerve around and slowly the words began to form.**

**I LOVE YOU  
>SAMANTHA PUCKETT <strong>

**FOREVER YOURS  
>FREDDORK<strong>

**I rubbed my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Freddie was so perfect. This night was so perfect. The world and everything around us seemed perfect. I turned around and jumped on Freddie, wrapping my legs around his waist and I kissed him. It was the most meaningful kiss of our lives. "I love you nerd boy." I said when I finally pulled away.**

**"I love you too Princess Puckett. Happy one year anniversary." he said as he went in for another kiss. Just than my phone beeped. "Ugh what is it?" Freddie asked as he put me down.**

**I looked at my phone to see twelve text messages. Gibby, Carly and Spencer and a few of our friends saw the skywriting and were texting me about either how cool it was or how romantic it was. I looked at Freddie and couldn't help but smile. "Nothing. Just some people saw that and were amazed." I said as I hugged him. I turned back to look at the skywriting. It was so beautiful in the night's sky with the beautiful stars in its background. Slowly the words began to fade and as soon as the words faded away, a few fire works lit up the sky. **

**Freddie leaned over the fire escape and yelled "Thanks guys!" I just looked at him in awe. "Lets sit down and enjoy the view." he said. **

**Freddie had laid out a blanket covered with red rose petals. We laid down and I just rested my head on his chest listening to his heart beat. "This past year has been the best year of my life," I began to say, "and I owe it all to you and Carly. If you two hadn't pushed me into showing my feelings at that lock in, I wouldn't have had the guts and we wouldn't be here together right now." **

**Freddie looked at me and smiled. "Well actually… whether you had kissed me that night or not… we still would have ended up here." he said. "When two people are meant to be, they find a way together no matter what."**

**I looked into his big brown eyes and smiled. I rolled on top of him and began to kiss him passionately. My body quivered as it brushed up against his and I began to feel a warm, tingly sensation between my legs as I straddled my legs around him. Freddie with one hand pulled my face in closer and soon I felt his other soft hand go under my shirt and caress my back. I let out a soft moan in the middle of the kiss and after a few minutes our lips parted.**

**I looked down at Freddie who began to pant a little as he sat up with me still on his lap. I wrapped my legs around him and I began to kiss him again. Soon I felt something between my legs. Freddie was getting turned on and I really enjoyed it. I kept kissing him and slowly I ran my hand down to his crotch and grabbed his cock from the outside of his jeans. Freddie began to moan and it turned me on even more. Hearing Freddie moan made me get wet. I began to grind down on him and he began to thrust up. "Sam…" Freddie said in the middle of a kiss. **

**I looked at him kind of annoyed. "What Fredward?" I asked.**

**"I just… wanted to make sure you're… you know... okay with all this." he stuttered. **

**I could tell he was nervous. I smiled and whispered in the sexiest voice I had in me, "Freddie, I want you now." And I began to kiss him again. Freddie put his hand up my shirt and messaged my boobs as he kissed down my neck. I began to moan louder and suddenly Freddie grew aware of where we were.**

**"Sam… we really should go inside now." Freddie said. I didn't want to spoil the mood but I knew he was right so I just complied. I followed Freddie inside and he asked me to wait a few minutes. He went into his room and I was starting to get very agitated. _'What part of I want you now does this boy not get?' _I thought to myself. I waited on his sofa patiently a few minutes than Freddie came back out. "Come inside." Freddie said looking almost shy.**

**I walked into Freddie's room and it was decorated with roses and candles just like the balcony. The bed had a beautiful white silk bed cover and red rose petals in the shape of a heart. I looked at him in disbelief. "Wow Freddie. You…" I began to say when he cut me off.**

**"My mom is away at another one of her aggressive parenting conventions and so I thought we could spend the night together," he began to say, "I mean… not like spend the night together night together but like sleep together. No that came out wrong." Freddie took a deep breath and said, "I wanted to fall asleep in each other's arms tonight. Not like… you know. I didn't plan on anything like…"**

**I smirked and cut him off, "I know baby." Freddie smiled nervously and looked down at his feet. "But trust me baby," I said, "neither one of us are going to be sleeping tonight." **

**Freddie looked up at me as in disbelief. I pushed him onto the bed and got on top of him. He began to kiss me and I took his hand and brought it to my wet pussy. His eyes looked like they were about to pop out. "Sam… you're wearing a skirt without any panties." Freddie began to say as I kissed down his neck.**

**"You know how much I hate that word… panties. And yes, skirt with no panties." **

**"But… what if the wind had blown or something like that. I wouldn't want anyone seeing…" he began to say.**

**"What only you should see?" I said with a smirk. Before he could say anything else I began to kiss him again and I felt his fingers gently rub my clit. "Don't be so gentle about it." I said. Freddie began to rub harder and I began to get wetter and wetter until I was close to losing control. I leaned up and took off my shirt. Freddie was in awe when he saw me in my bra. He began to pant harder and harder. Freddie got up and made me stand in front of him. He liked seeing me in my bra with nothing but a skirt on. "Mine is off… now it's your turn." I said to him. I walked towards Freddie and sat on his lap. I started to unbutton his shirt in a haste almost ripping the buttons off. His chest was so broad and the muscles were bulging out. I ran my hand over his chest and then stood up pulling Freddie up with me. He kissed me as I unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. I pulled down his jeans and saw a tent in his boxers. **

**From the outside of his boxers I began to rub his cock while he moaned my name. I wanted to drive him crazy. I pulled down his boxers to see a thick huge cock. I looked up at Freddie and licked my lips. I pushed him back and made him sit on the edge of the bed. I got down on my knees and began to lick up and down his shaft. I could hear him moan my name. I wanted to just drive him crazy. I began sucking on just the tip of his dick. "Sam… please don't tease." I could hear him say in between his moans. I began playing with his balls and than giving them a good lick. I went back to sucking on Freddie's huge dick. I put little by little more of his dick in my mouth then pulled back to the tip. Put more in my mouth then pulled back to the tip. Freddie than lost control and pushed my head onto his cock so I was deep throating him. As much as I tried, I couldn't fit all of him into my mouth but I kept sucking. "Ohhh Sam… y-y-y-y-you should s-s-s-s-stop. I'm about t-t-o c-c-c-cum." I could hear Freddie say. I stopped sucking and looked up to him. **

**"Hmm… I don't want you to come just yet." I said. I stood back up and pulled down my skirt so I was fully naked in front of Freddie. Almost instantly Freddie pulled me onto the bed and began to kiss me. He kissed down my neck to my breasts, sucking on each nipple for a while before going back to kissing down my chest and stomach. He kissed my clit and began to lick. I was losing control. "Oh… ohhh….ohhh Freddie." I could barely breathe let alone speak. He stopped and began kissing between my thighs before he began rubbing my pussy. Soon I felt the warmth of his mouth on my pussy. For a moment I couldn't believe it. I gave it to him and now Freddie was giving it to me. Freddie was giving me head. And boy was he good. Freddie began to push his tongue into my pussy while he messaged my clit. I ran my fingers through his hair and just kept moaning his name. "Ohh… ohh… b-b-b-b-baby… mhmm… y-y-y-yes. F-f-f-f-f-f-Freddie…put it in m-m-m-me." I began to moan. Freddie stopped and looked up at me. **

**"Oh shit." he said stopping and sitting up.**

**"What is it?" I said sitting up too, not being able to think about anything but having him inside me.**

**"I'm not prepared. Like… I don't have a condom. We can't do this without a condom." Freddie said. **

**I wasn't prepared either. I mean I knew Freddie and I were going to have sex one day… and I wanted to make sure I lost my virginity to him but I didn't know it would be tonight. I didn't know what to say but I couldn't stop. "Freddie… I can't stop. Not now." I said. I know it sounded bad but I couldn't stop now.**

**"But Sam…" he began to say.**

**"Just this one time."**

**"No Sam. We can't risk it. You know how high teen pregnancy rates are these days." Freddie began to say. I knew he was right but I couldn't stop now.**

**"I will just go to the pharmacy tomorrow and get a plan B pill."**

**Freddie looked at me dumbfounded. "What's that?" he asked.**

**"It's a pill you take 72 hours after having unprotected sex. You know, so you don't get preggers. Hence, the plan B pill." I explained.**

**"Are you sure you want this?" Freddie asked.**

**"Of course. More than anything." I whispered into his ear. I looked into my eyes and kissed me.**

**I laid down again and rested my head on a pillow. Freddie got on top of me and pushed my legs apart gently. He began to rub my clit again and he started to lick my pussy again. I groaned and almost shouted "Freddie just put it in me!"**

**Freddie looked up and smirked. "Getting a bit antsy are we?" he said. "Well time to fix that." Freddie pushed my legs apart as far as they could go and positioned himself at my entrance. Slowly he began to enter me and it was painful. He could feel me tense up and he stopped. "You okay, baby?" he asked.**

**"Yeah… I just… I know it'll hurt the first time so just be gentle." I whispered. Freddie looked into my eyes and smiled. He kissed me and began to push himself into me again. Slowly and gently. Soon I could feel my hymen break and I screamed in agony. It was the most painful experience of my life. **

**"I know it hurts baby. I'm sorry." he said. "The pain will be over soon. I promise." Finally Freddie was all the way inside me. For a while I just laid there with Freddie inside me, I could tell he was afraid to move cause he didn't want to hurt me anymore. After a while the pain subsided.**

**I took a deep breath, "Okay, I'm okay now." I whispered. Freddie kissed me again and began to thrust into me. It felt so good as he pushed his depth into me. "Harder." I moaned. Freddie looked at me with one of his are-you-sure looks and I just nodded. He began to thrust in harder but it wasn't enough. Soon I rolled him over and got on top of him and started to ride him. It was a mix of pain and pleasure but I liked it hard and faster. Freddie's moans were being drowned out by my screams of pleasure. It felt so good to have Freddie's cock deep inside me. **

**"Sam… I-I-I-I'm about to explode." Freddie said and that drove me crazy. I kept going faster. Riding him so hard and deep that all I was aware of was how good it felt. I didn't even realize how loud I was. Freddie started to suck on my nipples again. He sucked on one while pinching the other. Then he began to massage my clit again and soon I orgasmed. Feeling my orgasm was like a trigger for Freddie and soon after I felt him explode inside me. It felt so good. **

**I got off of Freddie and laid down next to him in his arms, putting my head on his chest again and listening to his heart beat. "You know…" Freddie began to say, "now you should really start keeping track of your period. Just in case. And tomorrow morning the first thing we will do is go get you plan B." I looked up into his eyes and nodded. I kissed him again. **

**Freddie and I spent the rest of the night in each other's arms. The night was simply perfect. **

__

_The next morning Freddie and I went to the pharmacy and picked up the plan B pill. After a few days we took a few pregnancy tests which came out negative and boy were we relieved. A week after our first time having sex, I got my period and it was surely confirmed that I wasn't pregnant. Freddie and I were so relieved. Our first time was so special... we didn't want to ever regret it and we had no reason to. Everything was fine._

_Freddie and I became very conscious from that night forward. We didn't even want to risk getting pregnant. Not now. Now was too soon. Of course I wanted to have children... Freddie's children... but now wasn't the time. We were still only juniors in high school. We had the rest of our lives ahead of us and we didn't want to risk everything by having a child. Freddie always dreamed of being a producer and director and I... well I wasn't sure of what I wanted to be but I had time to figure that out. Like Freddie had asked me to, I began to mark down my period every month on a calender. That way we could always be sure that there was nothing wrong. Our sex life slowly became more active and I hated having a barrier between us so we stopped using condoms and I began to use birth control pills. Everything was perfect... I even began to get better grades in school since Freddie and I had started to date. I was starting to make up for the two years I slacked at Ridgewood High. My life was simply amazing. _

_But that was back in April 2012... by August everything would change and my perfect life would come tumbling down on me. _


	6. iCome Home

iCome Home

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><p>Ding. Ding. I heard some noises and then the pilot spoke over the intercom. "If you look out your window, you will see the skyline of Seattle right below us. Welcome to Seattle everyone. Enjoy your time here."<p>

Just than I left Lucy shift around. She yawned just before saying, "Are we here already?"

"Yep." I answered. "We're here."

'_Welcome back Sam Puckett. Home sweet home.' _I thought to myself. I had to remind myself that I was here for Melanie and whether I was ready or not, I had to face everyone here. I had no other choice. I couldn't keep running away. Not anymore.

'_Thank God we don't have that much luggage.' _I thought to myself. I couldn't drag anymore suitcases and Ms. Fashionista Lucy over here bought more dresses than I knew she could wear in the short period of time we were here.

"Is someone going to pick us up?" I heard Lucy ask.

"Nope."

"What? Why not?" Lucy jumped.

"Because we're young, beautiful, independent girls who can do everything on their own."

Lucy groaned and rolled her eyes. "If you say so." she responded.

I grabbed the first cab I could find and jumped in. "Where to?" the cab driver asked. Lucy looked at me with a blank expression on her face.

"Bushwell Plaza." I said quietly.

I hated that I was on my way to Bushwell Plaza. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to be back in that building where I spent most of my youth. That building where I had some of my best and fondest memories. But that's where Mel had been living since after she graduated prep school. I remember during some of our earliest conversations, Melanie had told me that once she graduated and came back to Seattle, she decided to stay here and go to college here since I was gone. She didn't want to leave mom all alone but at the same time she didn't want to have to live with mom. I laughed in my head when I thought about mom. She was sort of crazy sometimes and we didn't have the best relationship but she was my mom. And every once in a while I would talk to her too if she was at Mel's place. She, like Mel, didn't know why I left or where I was and didn't ask too many questions as long as I kept in contact with her. I couldn't believe when mom told me that she was in a long term relationship with some Italian ambassador named Antonio. My mom loved them Italians. I, on the other hand, just loved Italian food. Mom had been with Antonio and my mom had been together for about four years now but he still hasn't proposed. Just two weeks ago Mel, mom and I were video chatting when Mel joked that Antonio must know that there's an expiration date on this relationship and that's why he wasn't proposing. Boy was mom mad. I've never seen her face that red before. Actually, I've never seen a tomato that red before. _'Oh Melanie.' _I thought to myself. '_I really hope you're okay.'_

I was lost in thought when Lucy waved her hands in front of my face and said, "Tell me!"

"Huh? What?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I've been asking you the same question for ten minutes now." she said annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was lost in my thought. What were you asking?"

"Forget it." Lucy said with a sigh.

I looked at her and smiled then looked out the window again. Here I was, back in Seattle. Back home. I couldn't believe it but here I was. I closed my eyes and imagined seeing Freddie again. This time up close. Face to face. So much has happened over the past six years but Freddork was still hot. And Carly! Oh how much I missed Carly. At least I had seen Freddie on my computer screen earlier today but I haven't seen Carls in forever. I wondered how she must look now.

"Here we go." I heard the cab driver say. "Bushwell Plaza."

I took a deep breath and smiled. I paid the cab driver then took our luggage inside. Bushwell Plaza looked exactly the same. Inside and out. _'I guess not everything has changed.' _I thought to myself.

My heart dropped to my stomach as I entered the building that was once practically my home. I entered Bushwell Plaza an saw Lewbert asleep at his desk. _'Same old Lewbert.' _I thought. _'Only older and probably yuckier.'_

Lucy and I got on the elevator and I we were on our way up. Thank God no one I knew was here. I could feel my heart beating like crazy as the elevator doors closed and began to go up the floors. I kept hoping that I wouldn't run into anyone. That the elevator wouldn't open to have

Melanie's apartment was just one floor beneath Carly's. I wondered if Carly and Freddie still lived here. Mel would hardly ever talk about them with me. She knew how I would get if she would bring them up.

Finally there was a ding. Seemed like that elevator ride took ages. Lucy and I got out of the elevator and turned the corner. I was hoping that Freddie wasn't in Mel's apartment. Actually, I didn't want anyone to be in Mel's apartment. I just wanted to leave my suitcases and rush over to the hospital to see Melanie.

I was finally in front of Mel's door. I started rummaging around the potted plant she had in the hall by her door. I remember her once vaguely telling me how she kept forgetting her keys so she hid one by the plant so that if she got locked out again, she would have a spare key.

It took a few minutes but I finally found the key which was taped to one of the leaves of the plant. _'Very clever Mel.'_ I thought as I took the key and began to unlock the door. I rushed to open the door so no one would hear me and finally once the door was open, I heard a cling as a pot fell to the floor.

I looked up to see her…


	7. iReunion

_**Author's Note: So I know I haven't updated in forever. Sorry for the delay but the reason behind me lacking to update every so often is because I'm not getting reviews and so I don't know whether people are liking the story or not. Also, reviews give me incentive to want to write- cause it's summer and I'm kind of lazy or busy hanging out and whatever. But knowing people want to read my story makes me want to put in the effort to keep writing. Anyways... once again, sorry for the delay. Please do review and I hope this chapter was worth the wait!**_

_**-Em**_

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><p>iReunion<p>

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><p>"SAM! Oh my gosh! Is it really you!" she yelped, not picking up the pot that she had just dropped.<p>

I couldn't believe my eyes. Here she was standing right in front of me. After all these years… here she was. "I… y-y-y-you… f-f-f-f-f-Fre…" I began to say, unable to form the words. Multiple feelings came over me at that moment as I was happy to see her but at the same time I felt like I should turn back and act like this never happened.

She ran across the loft, towards me and hugged me, not even acknowledging Lucy who was right beside me. I guessed she hadn't even noticed Lucy.

"Oh my Gosh Sam, what a great surprise! When we spoke last, you mentioned nothing about coming back! Wait… you wanted to surprise me! That's it, right?" she went on to say, not letting go of me.

"Melanie… y-y-y-you're okay!" I managed to get out in a soft whisper squeezing her tight. I couldn't believe she was perfectly okay. Not a single scratch or anything. Thank God she was okay!

"Of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be, silly?" she asked.

I broke out of our hug and came to the realization that it had been a lie. Her so called accident was a lie and she had told him. After all these years she finally told him. And he tricked me into coming back before I was ready.

"I can not believe you Melanie Puckett." I said angrily.

"Wait, what did I do?" Mel asked innocently.

"You know EXACTLY what you did!" I replied infuriated.

"No Sam, I really don't." she looked worried.

I took a deep breath and asked calmly, "Mel… how could you tell Freddie that we keep in touch. The deal was I would keep in touch if you kept it a secret."

"But I did! I swear!" she replied. "I haven't told a soul, and don't plan on it, until you want me to."

"Then how did Freddie know?" I asked.

Mel looked at me and thought for a moment, "I really don't know. How do you know that he knows?" she asked.

Before I could answer I heard Lucy, "Ahem ahem." Lucy coughed for acknowledgement. Mel took her eyes off of me for the first time since I got there and turned towards Lucy. Mel's eyes widened as she finally acknowledged Lucy.

"H-h-h-h-hi." Melanie stammered.

"Hi!" Lucy said excited and waved to Mel. Mel flabbergasted waved back and then turned back to face me. _'Introduction time.'_ I thought to myself.

"Melanie, I want you to meet a very special person in my life." I pulled Lucy in front of me and rested my hands on her shoulders. "This is Lucy Carlotta Marissa Benson." I knelt down to Lucy and began, "And Lucy, this is…"

"Auntie Melanie!" Lucy screamed. I always told Lucy about her family back home. Her aunt Melanie, aunt Carly, her uncle Spencer, uncle Gibby and her two grandmothers, both of whom were a bit coo-coo. Lucy even had an album with everyone's picture in it. I wanted her to know everything about her family and my past.

But I never mentioned Lucy to anyone back home. I wasn't ready to tell the truth to everyone back home, but now I had no option.

Lucy ran into Mel and hugged the lower half of Mel which was all she could reach. Melanie knelt down and hugged her. The look in Mel's eyes screamed that she was angry and upset that I hid her niece from her for all these years but at the same time I saw the understanding in her eyes. She now understood why I left. Why I had to leave.

"Come on in angel." Mel picked Lucy up in her arms and carried her to the sofa. I grabbed all the bags and came inside. "Are you thirsty?" Mel asked Lucy who simply nodded as she looked around.

"Mommy, I didn't know we were coming back home." Lucy exclaimed. "Does this mean I finally get to meet everybody?" I knew when she meant everybody, she specifically meant Freddie. I always told Lucy stories about my life back here in Seattle and she always wanted to meet everyone, but she respected me when I would tell her that in time she would.

"No, Luce. Sorry sweetheart. We are going back home as soon as we can." I said to Lucy.

The happy expression disappeared from Lucy's face and she just barely let out, "But this is home." I tried not to look at her because I knew she was right but I was here for all the wrong reasons and I didn't want to see her sad.

Melanie handed Lucy a glass of lemonade and then asked, "What do you mean you're leaving as soon as possible? You just got here!"

"I know Mel, but we have to go back." I sighed.

"Than why did you come back if you were going to just leave this quickly?" Mel argued.

I took a deep breath and said, "Because I was told you were in an accident and I freaked the chiz out. I wanted to be here for you. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Melanie looked at me confused. "Wait. Who told you that I was in an accident?" I looked at Lucy and was suddenly aware that my five year old daughter was in the room and I didn't want to go in depth about this with Lucy right here. Melanie must have understood because she simply whispered, "We will discuss this in a bit." Then she turned to Lucy and asked "Hey Luce… want me to show you around?" Lucy nodded excitedly and Melanie showed me and Lucy around.

Mel's loft was almost identical to Carly's, which just a floor above Melanie's was coincidentally. When you entered the loft, straight ahead you had the living room than kitchen. On the right you had the elevator to go upstairs, the stairs and a bedroom with a bathroom which she used as a guestroom. It was exactly like Carly's apartment downstairs. The upstairs, however, was completely different. Upstairs in Carly's apartment there was her room and the studio where we used to shoot iCarly but in Mel's apartment, upstairs there was a huge master bedroom with a bathroom that had a hot tub and a room similar to the studio in Carly's apartment, only Mel had turned it into an entertainment room. It was amazing what Mel had done with the space.

Lucy jumped onto Mel's bed and got comfy. "Luce…" I began to say before Melanie cut me off.

"Lucy, you and your mommy will be staying in here." Mel said.

"But Melanie," I said, "this is your room and plus you have a perfectly good guestroom downstairs."

"Well you two aren't just guests and I want you both to feel at home. So shush. I don't mind." Mel said. "Luce, you can start unpacking now."

"Wait. No. Lucy, sweetie, don't unpack." I began to say.

Mel grabbed my arm and said menacingly, "I'm not letting you leave that easily. I have five years to make up with my niece, whom I didn't even know about until like twenty minutes ago." Mel said through her teeth and then turned and sweetly said to Lucy, "Sweetie, you can start unpacking. I'm going to try to get your mom to stay for as long as I can."

Lucy looked at me hopeful and I signaled her okay to unpack. Lucy began to unpack excitedly and Mel and I left her in the room so we could talk more.

"Wow… Lucy is such a beauty." Mel said to me as we walked down the stairs.

"I know..." I said, "And she's a smarty too."

"She must get that from her dad." Mel chucked when I nudged her. After a moment of silence Mel said, "She looks just like you and Freddie. Well technically you, me and Freddie."

"Ew. Don't say that Melanie. It just sounds so wrong." I said as Melanie laughed.

"I know, I know. But you know what I mean. She has Freddie's dark brown hair and his complexion while she got our deep blue eyes and curly hair genes. She's so cute," Melanie gushed. "You and Freddie make cute babies," she said.

I sighed and let out a soft "Thanks."

Melanie and I sat on the sofa downstairs and she looked at me sympathetically. "You should have told me, you know? And maybe even mom. We're your family. We would've stuck by you. Helped you. You didn't have to run away."

"But I did Mel," I began to say. "I couldn't ruin his life and I couldn't end hers. Abortion was never ever an option for me and well it was all my fault anyways."

"Your fault? How could it be your fault?"

"I was irresponsible." I said I began to tear up.

"It wasn't just your fault Sam." Mel said trying to reassure me.

But I knew she was wrong. "No Mel, it was all my fault. The first time Freddie and I were together, like together together, it was unprotected."

"You see, it wasn't just your fault."

"No Mel, listen." I said desperately. "We were in the moment. It was unplanned but it just happened. Afterwards we pretty much ran to the pharmacy and got me the plan-B pill to make sure I didn't get pregnant. And from than on I went on the pill because I liked having him inside me without any boundaries, without any walls between us. Originally he planned on us using the condom every time but I was the one who didn't want that and so we went to the doctors and I started taking birth control. It was my responsibility but I failed." I started to tear up and Melanie put her hand on mine. I continued, "The first few months I was very conscious of always taking the pill but then after a while, I became irresponsible, sometimes missing two pills a week. I guess that's when I got pregnant."

"When did you find out?" Mel asked in a low whisper.

"Early August 2011." I said. "Our first time together was just the April before that, on our one year anniversary and I was steadily taking the pills until about July when I got careless. Then when I found out, I went to talk to him about it and I realized there was nothing I could do. It was too late. I was already carrying his child inside me."

"But why didn't you just talk to him about it? I know it would've been hard but don't you think he deserved to know." Mel asked hesitantly, trying her best not to upset me.

"I know. I tried to tell him numerous times but I just couldn't. I remember the last time I tried to tell him was a few nights before I left. We were on his fire escape and I wanted to tell him, but he was talking about his future and our future and I realized than that having a baby wasn't in the books. Not this early. And having a kid already would ruin his plans. So I packed everything I had and I left." I said, tears rolling down my face. "I went toNew Yorkexpecting nothing. When I got there, all I had on me was some money, a bunch of clothes, personal belongings and a child inside me. Not to mention all the amazing memories of my life back here."

"I wish you had told me. I would've tried to do something. Mom would've helped some way or another." Mel said as she hugged me.

"There was nothing to be done. I was on my own at that point." I said. "New Yorkgave me such great opportunities. I couldn't ever possibly dream that I would have the life I have. The night I got there, I met a woman on the train named Monica and she recognized me from iCarly. I told her my story and she helped me with everything. She helped me get into a good high school so I could finish school on time, which I did. She helped me get a job at the paper where she works to pay for my apartment, which she found for me. She helped me so much, she became like another mom to me. You know, a less crazy mom." Mel and I started to laugh. "So then after high school, I went to a CUNY college…"

"What's a CUNY college?" Mel interrupted.

"CUNY stands for City University of New York. It's a branch public city colleges. There are quite a few reputable ones all over the city." I explained. "Anyways, after a while of working as a secretary at the paper, I started writing for the paper. I finished college and got my bachelor's of sciences in biology and then started at NYU Medical where I just finished my first year. Honestly, it all feels like a dream. All the opportunities that I was presented. The way everything worked out. I was lucky." I looked at Melanie and held back tears, "Lucy might have been a 'mistake' and unexpected… but she was the best mistake of my life."

"I know sweetie." Mel said as we hugged. It felt so good to be here right now. With my family. "I'm glad you're back. Which reminds me, I mean I'm all happy that you're back, but what got you here?" Mel asked.

"Well this morning I got an award from the paper and I wanted to tell you about it, so I checked and saw you online and I video called you only to have Freddie pick up and tell me you were in an accident. So I rushed to get here."

"That's so sweet that you rushed to be by my side. But I don't really understand when he's…" then Mel stopped.

"When he's what?" I asked.

"Nothing. Forget it. I love how long you kept your and Lucy's hair. Both your hair is so long and luscious. But I must admit, I love her brown locks compared to our blond."

"What do you mean our blond locks?" I asked pulling at some of her hair. Melanie had straightened her hair and cut it so it fell just a few inches below her shoulder. "Do you always straighten your hair?" I asked.

"Well, sometimes. Kind of. Yeah." she answered sounding embarrassed. Maybe ashamed.

"Natural is the way to go." I said smiling. Just than there was a knock on the door. "Oh chiz…" I whispered. "I don't want anyone to know that Lucy and I here just yet."

"No worries. Lucy is busy unpacking upstairs and she won't be down for a while. You, you just hide under the stairs for now." Melanie whispered.

"But what if Lucy comes downstairs?" I whispered as the door bell rang.

"Come with me…" Melanie and I went into the guest room and on the intercom I asked Lucy to not make too much noise or come downstairs. The door bell rang again. In haste I hid under the stairs that led to the upstairs and Melanie opened the door.

There he stood.

The father of my child.

The love of my life.

Fredward Benson.


	8. iFind Out The Truth

_**Author's Note: Heeey guys! So I got a few reviews on the last chapter which made me want to write and update quickly... and so I was able to update again in less than a week! Remember, the more reviews and feedback I get, the more drive I get to write! So please keep giving me feedback... I like knowing whether you guys are liking it and what you all are thinking! The more reviews I get, the faster I update :D**_

_**OH and special thanks to the people who listed this story under their favorites and listed me as one of the favorite authors. That really made my day! YOU GUYS ARE ESPECIALLY THE REASON BEHIND ME NOT TAKING FOREVER TO UPDATE ;) **_

_**-Em **_

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><p>iFind Out The Truth<p>

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><p>"Oh. Ah. Freddie. Um. Hey. Hi." Melanie said frantically looking around to make sure that there weren't any traces of me or Lucy in the apartment. I tried my best to remain as silent as I possibly could but I felt my heart beat faster and faster. A thousand feelings rushed throughout me. I was happy to see him; angry that he lied to me; scared that Lucy would come down those stairs any minute and recognize her father and give everything away. I tried to control my breathing as Freddie entered the apartment.<p>

Freddie came inside in and stood by the sofa. "So… have anything you need to tell me?" Freddie said crossing his hands over his chest. '_Oh that chest.'_ I thought. Okay I seriously need to stop thinking like that, I told myself.

"Um. Do I?" Melanie said. I could almost hear her voice crackling. I was praying that Melanie learned how to lie after all these years. I definitely didn't want her giving me away. The time wasn't right for the truth. I wasn't ready to tell him anything just yet. Actually I was still pissed Freddie had lied to me and I still just couldn't figure out why he lied. It didn't make any sense for him to lie like that unless… oh my God… that was it… there wasn't any reason for him to lie unless he knew that I would come running. But Freddie wasn't slick enough to come up with that on the spot when he saw me on the computer today. Six years might have passed, hell sixty years could pass but Fredward could never become that sly. So he must have previously known that Melanie and I keep in touch so he concocted this plan to try to get me here. But Mel swears she didn't tell him. So how did he know?

"Seriously Mel?" Freddie nearly shouted. "Seriously? You're going to keep up with these damn charades."

"What are you talking about Freddie?" Melanie asked. "I'm so confused!"

"Melanie… I spoke to Sam today." Freddie said sternly.

"Oh my gosh. You did? When? Where? How? This is amazing. How did you get in contact with her after all these years?" Melanie asked. Wow, she had gotten really good at lying. And here I was worried for no reason.

"Melanie Puckett! Drop the damn act."

"Freddie, watch your language, you know I won't talk to you if you keep cussing." Mel said with a devious smirk on her face. _'Oh how I love my sister.'_ I thought to myself.

"Okay whatever." Freddie said. "I won't curse. But we seriously need to talk."

"I'm listening." Melanie said as she sat down on the sofa. Freddie sat down next to her and faced her.

"So the other night, at the engagement party," Freddie began, "do you remember what happened?"

_'An engagement party?' _I thought to myself. _'Whose engagement party? Melanie hadn't told me about any of her friends getting engaged or anything like that recently.' _I thought. But I quickly shrugged that off. There was a bigger issue here and I really wanted to know where Freddie was going with this and what was going on in that nerd brain of his.

"No, Freddie. I don't." Melanie said. Freddie looked at her blankly and before he could speak, Melanie started laughing. "Of course I remember Freddie. I'm not an old woman. I still have my memory you know." she said.

"What do you remember?" Freddie asked.

Melanie groaned. "The dinner. The dancing. The speeches. Everything."

"And do you remember what happened after everyone left?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah. After everyone left the restaurant, we all sat down and played spin the bottle, in which whoever the bottle landed on had to take a shot of vodka." Mel said looking confused.

I was confused too. What was Freddie trying to get at? Oh my fudge, had something happened between them? Oh no! And oh ew! _'Please don't let that be! Please don't let that be!' _I prayed in my head over and over again.

"Basically." Freddie said.

"So what?" Melanie said. "How is that something I need to tell you? You already knew that."

"I know. But that's not it." Freddie began. "Do you remember anything after the game?"

"Uh no. All I remember is playing the game and then waking up at home with a horrible hangover." Melanie said.

"Yeah, I'd bet." Freddie said. "Well you had a lot to drink that night."

"Yeah I know. I don't think I ever drank that much in my entire life." Melanie said laughing.

Freddie laughed for a few seconds and then became all serious again and composed himself. "Well that night Brad and I gave you a ride home cause we definitely didn't want you driving after all that you had to drink and Brad was basically the only one who the bottle stayed clear of and since he didn't have anything to drink, he drove us back even though I only had two, three drinks the most… and then when we came back, you wanted to play truth or dare and we were playing and when it was your turn Brad went to use the bathroom and I asked you how much do you miss Sam and you said that you missed her a lot but you're so glad she keeps in touch and video chats with you."

My jaw literally dropped. Melanie did tell him that I kept in touch with her but it wasn't really her fault. Well not entirely. She had our mother's trait of not being able to handle her liquor. _'Stupid alcohol. It gets the best of us.'_ I thought to myself.

"Oh lord." I heard Melanie mumble.

"And than…" Fredward continued. "And than I decided that using you I would contact her and try to get her to come home one way or another. So I thought of what I would say or do when the opportunity presents itself. I didn't know when the opportunity would present itself but I needed a good plan and I thought I would lie and tell her you had an accident. I rehearsed it in my head over and over again, not knowing when I would get the chance to speak to her. Not knowing if I would but still hoping."

_'Ah! There is it!' _I thought to myself. I was right, Freddie could never be slick enough to think of that last second. He planned ahead. Thought it out. Rehearsed it. That was Freddie.

"And today, when you were out to the dentist's office and I was waiting here for the cable man, well Sam called on your computer." Freddie said.

"AND YOU LIED TO HER TELLING HER THAT I HAD AN ACCIDENT!" Melanie shouted in a hushed tone. I knew she was trying to keep her voice down so that upstairs Lucy wouldn't get startled or scared or anything.

Freddie never looked up at Mel but I could kind of see his head nodding. I wonder if he felt ashamed. "I thought she would come back for you." Freddie said in almost a whisper.

"Why?" Mel began, "Why did you do that? What do you think you'll ever be able to achieve by lying to her and bringing her back here?"

"I thought that she would definitely come back but she cut the video chat without saying anything. I guess she changed. The Sam I know would've come running once she heard something like that." Freddie said.

"I guess some people never change." Mel said. Mel was right, I hadn't changed when it came to matters like that but Freddie definitely wasn't about to find that out right now.

"Huh?" Freddie said.

"I meant… well you haven't changed Freddie." Mel said, "I mean why are you trying to bring her back now? After everything that's been going on. If she were here, how would you explain the past few months to her?"

"I don't know. I just would. I know my Sam. She would understand." Freddie said almost angrily. I wondered what they were talking about. Something was going out and I sure as hell was about to find out the moment Freddork over here left.

"She's not your Sam anymore Freddie. And don't you think it's just too late."

Freddie stayed quiet for a few minutes before he spoke, "I just needed to talk to her. In person. I just… I don't know Melanie. Damn it, I don't know. I just… I needed to talk to her about everything. I can't go do this without just knowing why Sam left and what was going on."

"Maybe its too late for that." Mel said.

"No, it isn't. It's never too late. I will talk to her. It will happen. I assure you." Freddie said. Then he got up and left. Before he closed the door behind him, he turned and said to Mel, "I wish you understood how important it was for me to talk to her before anything more happens."

Mel walked over to lock the door and she said quietly, "After all these years you want to talk to her. After all these years you finally remembered her?"

"I never stopped thinking about her Mel. Everything that happened… well it sort of just happened. I always needed to and wanted to talk to her. Especially now." Freddie said so quietly that I could barely hear him. With that he left and Melanie locked the door. We waited a few moments to make sure the coast was clear before I came out.

"Oh my God Sam, I am so sorry!" Mel said hugging me. "I didn't realize that I told him. I didn't do so on purpose. I swear!"

"I know Mel. But…"

"But what?" Mel asked nervously.

"But what were you two talking about? What's been going on? Why would he need to talk to me, especially now?" I asked her. Mel looked down, she was hiding something, I could just tell. Something wasn't right here.

"Nothing Sam. Nothing." Melanie said. "I'm going to order in some food and bring Luce down. How does Chinese sound?"

"Fine. But Mel…"

"Chinese it is." Mel interrupted. She grabbed her phone and ordered some food as she went up the stairs.

Something was up. I knew it. I could tell that she was hiding something huge. I started to look around the apartment. Going through some of the drawers and tables in hopes of finding maybe her date book or something that might give me some sort of clue as to what was going on. If there was one thing I knew about Melanie, it was that she was very organized and wrote down important dates and notes in her date book, which was something I too started doing after I moved toNew York. I checked around the first floor of the apartment and didn't find anything until I got to her computer, which was in the same area that Spencer and Carly kept theirs back in the day. I began to wonder if their apartment was still the same. By the computer, Mel had a whole bunch of papers and work lying around. It was all work stuff. Melanie had opened her own restaurant and was expanding her locations and the paperwork was for that stuff. I couldn't help but think of how sloppy she was with her paperwork. I began to tidy up a bit and I went through some of the papers and files, still unable to find anything until I finally found her date book hidden under a pile of papers and files.

I opened Mel's date book and a nice envelope fell out. On the front of the envelope it said 'To Miss. Melanie Puckett' in nice hand writing. I opened the envelope and it was a card… a wedding invitation. I opened the card and nearly fainted as I read what it said inside.

_You are cordially invited_

_to the grand wedding ceremony of _

_Carlotta 'Carly' Shay_

_and_

_Fredward "Freddie" Benson_

_on Saturday, the twenty-third _

_of June two thousand and eighteen_

_at __half past three__ in the afternoon_

_reception to follow _

I reread that invitation over and over again. _'Wait what! What is going on? Am I losing my mind? Did I just read what I thought I read?'_ I thought to myself. I looked at the calendar in Mel's date book to count the days. Today wasWednesday, the thirtieth of May 2018. Since classes ended about two weeks ago on the eleventh, I had sort of lost track of the dates and days. I wouldn't have even remembered today's date if it hadn't been for the brunch earlier today and our plane tickets. I started to count from today's date to the date of the wedding. Twenty-four days. I could hear my heart beat faster and faster.

This all just meant that in less than a month, my best friend was going to marry the love of my life.

I put the invitation back in the envelope and shoved it back into Mel's date book. I sat down on Mel's couch and tried to breathe. I couldn't believe what was going on. Was Melanie seriously planning on keeping this from me? What did she think, that I wouldn't find out?

Then I heard Melanie and Lucy come down the stairs.

"Luce, sweetie, did you wash up?" I asked.

"No mommy."

"Well go back upstairs and wash up before the food gets here. I need to talk to your auntie Melanie meanwhile." I said trying my best not to just lash out on Melanie than and there.

"Okay mommy. Be right baaaack." Lucy said in her usual perky manner. Once I was sure that Lucy was back upstairs I grabbed Melanie and pulled her to the couch.

"You need to start talking. Now." I said menacingly.


	9. iRevelations

_**Author's Note: Hey Seddie-shippers! So I'm going away to Atlantic City this weekend and I know I won't be able to update the next few days so I'm giving you guys another chapter already! This is for all my loyal readers!**_

_**To the people who are reading this but aren't reviewing... come on people! Do me a favor and review! I love getting reviews. The more reviews I get, the faster I update. Reviews give me incentive to write. SO STOP BEING LAZY AND REVIEW!**_

_**OH AND MY STORY HAS HAD OVER 1,OOO VISITORS! I don't know why but that gets me all excited heeh.**_

**_Once again, special thanks to all the people that added this story under their favorites and me under their favorite authors! You guys rockNow hope you all enjoy this chapter! (It's the longest chapter thus far.) Don't forget to review!_**

_**-Em**_

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><p>iRevelations<p>

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><p>"About what Sam?" Melanie asked.<p>

"Tell me what's going on. What was Freddie talking about? And whose engagement party was it that you went to where you got that drunk?" I asked, already knowing the answer. It was Freddie's and Carly's engagement party when all that happened. But I wanted to see if she would tell me the truth. I wanted to hear it from her.

"It's nothing Sam."

"Really Melanie?" I asked. I saw sadness emerge within her as she looked at me. I could tell she didn't want to lie to me. But she had to. I just didn't understand why. How was this going to protect me? Hiding the fact that the man who fathered my five year old daughter was marrying my best friend was not going to help me in any shape or form. I didn't understand what the chiz was going on in that Melanie brain of hers.

Melanie sighed. "A lot has happened here since you left."

"I get that Mel, but what is it that has been going on?"

"Just…" Mel started to say. She took a deep breath, "I don't know how to tell you this. I don't know where to start."

"Start from the beginning Mel."

"Lucy will be down in a few minutes and this conversation… and well this conversation is better if we had time to really talk it through." Melanie said. "After dinner we will go upstairs to Spencer's and we can talk there."

"I don't think that's a good idea Melanie." I said. "I don't want anyone else knowing that I'm here. Especially not Carly."

"Don't worry about Carly. She went toYakimatwo days ago and won't be back until next weekend."

"But Spencer…" I mumbled.

"I haven't known Spencer as long as you have but he is trustworthy. And didn't you always used to say that if there was anyone that you could always go to and talk to, it was him?"

"I guess you're right." I had to admit she was right. Spencer was always there for me. He didn't just treat me like his little sister's best friend but like I was his family too. No wonder when I was younger I had a miniature crush on him. It was just because he was always so sweet and understanding and helpful. But this time around I was worried. Right now my life was entangled with Carly's and I wasn't sure how he would react or what he would say or do but I trusted him.

Just than Lewbert buzzed in announcing that the Chinese food delivery guy was here. Melanie paid as I went upstairs to get Lucy. Lucy, Melanie and I had dinner and just talked. Lucy loved just talking to her auntie Mel. I was glad to see them bond. Lucy started to get really tired after dinner and asked me, "Mommy, how come I'm so tired already? It's barely 8:30."

I smiled. "Well it's been a long day. We had an the brunch this morning and not to mention the five hour flight."

"Yeah, I guess." Lucy said. "But it feels like the day was longer."

Melanie laughed at Lucy's comment and I couldn't help but smile too. "Well today was a rather long day for you." Melanie said. "If you were inNew York, it'd be around11:30right now."

"Huh?" Lucy looked confused.

"Well sweetie, the reason today seemed so much longer to you than regular days is because you added an extra three hours in your day." Melanie said.

"How is that possible?" Lucy asked, still confused.

"Well," I started, "Seattleis in a different time zone thanNew YorkcausingSeattle's time to be three hours behindNew York. So you know how we boarded the plane at4pminNew Yorkand got here at6pm. Well technically we got here at9pmNew Yorktime and boarded the plane at1pmSeattletime. The flight five hours long although time showed it to be two hours long. So you kind of got three addition hours in your day."

"Oh. I see. Sort of." Lucy said.

"You'll understand it more when you're a little older. But you should get to bed. If we were inNew York, you would've been in bed an hour ago and half ago." I told her.

"At tenNew Yorktime!" Lucy said smugly.

"You got it!" Melanie said excited.

"Of course I did. I am a smartypants after all." Lucy said with a huge grin on her face.

"Well miss. Smartypants, lets get you to bed." I said picking her up and taking her upstairs. Melanie and I tucked Lucy into bed and kissed her good night. "Lucy…"

"Hm?" Lucy said half asleep.

"Your auntie Mel and I are going upstairs to visit someone for a little while. We will be back soon though. Sleep tight." I said kissing her cheek again. I knew Lucy wouldn't wake up but I wanted to tell her where Melanie and I were going to be just in case she woke up and didn't find us. I asked Melanie to text Spencer first to make sure Freddie wasn't there at his place. Once we got the all clear, we went on the elevator that took us up toapartment 8-C.

I was nervous to get off the elevator… Melanie got out first and I heard Spencer's voice and a rather familiar female voice. But it wasn't Carly. Melanie told me to stay back and only come out when she shot me the signal. Melanie walked out of the elevator and the first thing she said was, "Hey, can you keep a secret?"

"Nope." I heard Spencer say. Melanie started walking back towards the elevator when I heard Spencer again. "Of course I can! Now tell me, tell me!"

"I rather not." Melanie said.

"Oh come on. I was just kidding." Spencer whined.

"Alright fine. But instead of telling you, I rather show you." Mel said as she signaled for me to enter. I walked out of the elevator to see Spencer and… Veronica? _'Wait, could it really be Veronica? Oh my God! The same Veronica that Spencer scared away with his tux shenanigans. Who he than scared away when he was pretending to be dead so his sculptures could sell for more money? Oh my God.'_ I thought. I couldn't believe she was here… with Spencer.

"Holy cow! Sam is that you!" Spencer nearly screamed. He rushed over and hugged me. "My have you changed and grown. You and Melanie don't even look all that same anymore."

"Hey Spencer." I said. "How have you been?"

His face light up. "I've been good. I'm just… wow… you're actually here. You're back!" Spencer said excitedly.

"Yeah I am. And seems like so is Veronica." I said, staring at Veronica who had a smile on her face.

"Sam," Veronica said as she walked over and hugged me, "It's been forever."

"Don't I know it. Wait… are you two back together?" I asked. They exchanged a look and raised their left hands where I saw that the two of them had wedding bands. "Oh my God! When did this happen?" I asked. I couldn't believe that Veronica and Spencer actually got married.

"Come. Sit. Let us talk." Spencer said as Veronica went to make us some lemonade. I looked around the apartment. The downstairs looked pretty much the same as it used to, everything was in the same place only there was some new furniture and new sculptures. The place was also cleaner. Other than that, everything was in the exact place it was six years ago.

"So…" I was growing impatient. I wanted to know how this happened. "Tell me everything."

"Well miss. Puckett, shouldn't you tell us everything before we tell you?" Spencer asked.

"You first." I said.

"Well about five years ago, when Carls, Gibby and Freddie were graduating, Veronica and I ran into each other at the graduation ceremony. Her cousin was graduating from Ridgeway too and we started to talk and she saw that I wasn't insane." Spencer started to laugh, "So we kept hanging out and then we started dating again. Then after about four years of dating, I popped the question last year and within two months we got married. Now we've been happily married for about eight months now. The end. Now about you. Tell us everything. Why'd you leave? Tell us!" Veronica handed us our glasses of lemonade and sat down.

"I head you left the August before your senior year. Alone. Why? What happened? And where did you go?" Veronica asked.

The smile that was on my face a few seconds ago vanished quickly as these questions arose. "You want to know the truth?" I asked. Spencer and Veronica nodded at the same time. "Okay… well here I go. It was late summer of 2012 when I left. In the middle of August, as you said Veronica. See the thing was that in early August I found out that I was two weeks pregnant." I saw the shock in Spencer's eyes.

"You mean… you a-a-and Freddie?" Spencer asked. I nodded.

"Apparently I got pregnant in middle July or whatever and I wanted to tell Freddie but I could never bring myself to do it. I didn't want to ruin his life and I didn't want to tell anyone and burden them with my secret. So I packed what I could and I left. I wrote Carly and Freddie a letter before I left and that was my goodbye to them."

My mind flash backed to about six years ago, when I was writing my goodbye letters.

**My packed bags stood beside me as I was ready to leave. I checked off everything in my head to make sure I packed everything I needed. Once I made sure I had everything, I was just about to leave when I looked back at my almost empty room and I realized that I had to say my goodbyes. But I couldn't do it face to face. I sat down on the desk in my room and pulled out a few sheets of paper and a pen. I wanted to get the easiest letter out the way and I began to write.**

**_Mom,_**

**_When you come back, you'll find almost all of my things gone and just this letter. I can't explain everything to you. Not right now. Things have just gotten so complicated and I just need to get away. I need to be on my own and figure my life out by myself. Don't think that you're the reason I'm leaving. You haven't always been the perfect mom but I know lately you've been trying your hardest to be a good mom and you've been doing great. This is about me. I would say goodbye but I couldn't bring myself to do it face to face so I left while you were out. Don't worry, I will contact you some day. Just give me time to figure my life out. _**

**_Yours truly,_**

**_Sam_**

**That letter was the easy one. Now it was on to the harder ones. I knew that these two letters would break the hearts of the people I loved the most in the world but it was better than me leaving without any sort of goodbye.**

**_Carls,_**

**_By the time you find this letter, I will be far gone. I can't explain to you why I left or where I'm going but all I can really say is that I had to leave. Life isn't always what it seems and there are many untold stories even about the people closest to your heart. Life just got really complicated. Too complicated and I couldn't deal. I just needed to leave. Think of as the best thing I could've done for myself. You won't understand this right now because I can't explain everything but just trust me. I'll really miss you Shay. You've been the best friend a girl could ever ask for. I wish I didn't have to leave like this but I do. I won't be able to face you and say goodbye. It will just break my heart. Alright mama is getting too sappy right now so let me just say I love you kid and I hope the best for you._**

**_Love always,_**

**_Sam_**

**I started to tear up as I finished my letter to Carly. Now on to the hardest letter. I didn't know how to write this and what to put in it. I just wanted to pretend this never happened and that I wasn't pregnant. But I was. And I had to leave. I couldn't stay back and destroy the life of the boy I love so much. I started to write, deciding that I would just write whatever my heart said and not think about it.**

**_Freddork,_**

**_I know you're looking at this letter and going what the chiz… did Sam really write me a letter? Yeah, I did. This isn't something to say over text or email. It's more personal. Well actually I shouldn't be doing this in a letter either but I can't do it face to face. I'm sorry. So the deal is… well I'm leaving. I'm leaving _****_Seattle_****_ and going wherever my heart takes me. I'm sorry I can't tell you where or why but let's just say that life has become just too complicated and I can't deal anymore. As for our relationship… well we are too young to be this serious anyways. So I guess me leaving is a good thing for us. And well most high school sweethearts don't make it anyways and well at least now we won't have to be awkward around each other or anything. Okay I'm lying. I'm not leaving because I want to break up or anything. I can't really explain this. It's just too hard. Stuff has happened. It has nothing to do with my mom or you guys. It's just me. I really can't explain this the way I want to. Freddifer, I love you. A lot. Maybe its cause I'm scared? That might be the reason. No okay that isn't it either. I don't understand why life brought on me what it did but I'm where I am and I can't be there. I hope you sort of get where I'm going with this. I love you. A lot. You're my first love. My one true love. I will always love you and I will always have a piece of you with me. Every moment we spent together was wonderful Benson. My life has meaning now thanks to you. You made everything perfect. I love you so much. I would like to say that once I have everything figured out I will come back but I can't give you false hope. Maybe this might be the last time you hear from me. I don't know yet. Whatever life has in store, that's what will happen. Take care of yourself. And promise me that you will always take care of Carly. She won't be able to cope with me leaving but I know that you all will be able to manage with time. Don't forget me Benson. I love you so much. Okay this letter got a lot cheesier than I expected to let me end it here before I make myself sound more suckish than I already do.  
>Oh and one more thing… please don't try to come looking for me.<em>**

**_Love you forever,_**

**_Your Blond Demon_**

**_Sam_**

**I kissed Freddie's letter. I didn't have any lip gloss or lipstick on so the kiss was invisible but he'd know it was there. With that I grabbed my things and left my mom's letter on her bed. Then I headed over to ****Bushwell****Plaza**** and slipped Carly's letter under her door and Freddie's letter under his. Then I left. I didn't know if I would ever come back. I didn't know what would happen in life. I didn't know how I would survive. All I knew was that I had to leave and so I did.**

I heard Spencer snap his fingers in front of my face and I snapped out of the past. "So you got pregnant and you wanted to hide it from everyone so you left. No goodbye. No nothing. Just two letters and you were gone?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah." I said looking to the floor. I felt ashamed. I knew the way I left wasn't right. Everyone here deserved a goodbye but I couldn't give it to them. Carly and Freddie used to email me the same way Melanie did, but Mel was the only one I contacted. Carly and Freddie would keep emailing me in hopes of a reply, but I never even read their emails. I always thought it would just take me back to the past and I had to live in the present. After a year Carly stopped emailing me. After two years Freddie stopped.

"So… you had a baby?" Veronica asked quietly.

"Yeah. She was supposed to be due onApril 15, 2013but she was premature and was born onFebruary 4, 2013." I answered.

"On Freddie's birthday." Spencer whispered. I nodded. My little angel was born on her daddy's birthday. She didn't want to wait to have her own birthday but wanted to share her daddy's birthday and so she came into the world two whole months before she was expected.

"She was so small when she was born. They kept her in an incubator for three weeks before I could hold her. They wanted to make sure she was healthy."

"Did you… keep her?" Veronica asked.

"Of course I did." I answered. I then told Spencer and Veronica about New York and how I finished high school a semester early so I graduated by January 2013 instead of June 2013. I told them everything from the moment I reachedNew York, to meeting Monica, to working for the Times paper and medical school. Spencer was shocked to hear I finished my first year of medical school. His jaw fell. He told me how proud of me he was for all that I achieved and he understood me not wanting to ruin Freddie's life. Then Spence asked why I came back today and I told him about everything from the brunch to the video chat with Freddie and Mel told him about her conversation with him.

"So she doesn't know?" Spence asked Melanie. She shook her head. I very well knew what was going on but I was still waiting for them to tell me. "So can we meet Lucy?" Spencer asked trying to feign a smile.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." I said getting angry.

"Sam… Carls and Freddie are getting… well… they're like… they are getting married." Spencer said with a sad look in his eyes. _'Finally!' _I thought. _'Finally someone has the guts to tell me the truth.'_

I wanted them to tell me more but I know they were expecting me to jump or something. "They are?" I asked. "How come? I mean like… since when have they fallen in love?"

"They haven't." Veronica said. I looked at her confused. I didn't understand what she meant.

"What Veronica means to say is that… well, the thing is that Freddie still loves you. He never stopped. He's always been waiting for you to come back. He always thought that you leaving was just a test of your love. A test that he would ace someday." Spencer started to say.

"STOP SAYING THAT CHIZ!" I nearly exploded. Spencer's words were ticking me off. He was lying to me. I knew it. Freddie didn't still love me. That was impossible! If Freddie did still love me, than he wouldn't be engaged to my best friend right now. "You're lying to me! I know you are! Freddie doesn't still love me. He's moved on. I get it. You don't have to lie to me to protect my feelings. I'm not a little teenager anymore Spence." I said, trying to hold back tears.

"I'm not lying to you to spare your feelings Sam. It's the truth." Spencer said.

"He's not lying Sam." Melanie and Veronica said in unison.

"Let me finish Sam, and you'll see that I'm not lying to make you feel better." Spencer said. "I want my little sister to be happy. You know I would do anything for Carly and I know that her marriage to Freddie would be just a compromise. Just mutual understanding. No love. Just two best friends that got married. And I definitely don't want that for my little sister. I want her to be with the one she loves, the one that loves her. But she loves someone else and Freddie still loves you."

"A compromise?" I asked. The three of them nodded. "But why?"

"Do you remember what you used to always say when it came to Carly's love life?" Spencer asked me. I thought hard about it then I understood what he was talking about.

"You mean how I always joked that some day she would fall in love with Gibby?" I asked.

Spencer nodded. "Yup. Exactly that. And you were 100% right. Carly did end up falling for Gibby and Gibby ended up falling for Carly too. They were so in love."

"Wait… rewind… when did Carly and Gibby fall for each other?" I asked. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was actually right. Carly ended up falling for Gibby.

"Well…" Spencer said, "Carly and Gibby started dating early 2012. Towards the end of your junior year." I couldn't believe my ears. _'Did Spencer just say early 2012! That can't be. I was still around than. That was before I got pregnant. Wait, what?' _I thought.

"No. That can't be right." I said. "I was still around then. You must have the years mixed up."

"Nope. I know I'm right. You were still inSeattlewhen they started dating." Spencer said. Veronica poured me another glass of lemonade and sat back down next to Melanie.

"But she never toldme." I whispered.

"She never told any of us." Spencer said. "We actually found out after you left. Carly was so upset when you left and Gibby helped her through it. No one else was able to really get through to her. After that we started noticing the relationship between the two and we lured it out of them and finally they revealed that they were together."

"Oh… I see. So then what happened?" I asked.

"Well than Carls, Freddo and Gibby graduated high school. They stayed at home for college and Carly, Gibby, Freddie, Brad and Melanie all wentSeattleUniversitytogether. During their junior year of college Gibby proposed to Carly and the two were engaged."

"And then…?"

"And then Carly, Gibby, Brad and Melanie graduated." Spencer started to say.

"Wait… what about Freddie?" I asked.

"Oh Freddie was already working on his masters by that time. I thought you knew. Freddie finished college in two years instead of the normal four and then took a year to get his masters." Spencer said.

_'Of course he did.' _I thought. _'Typical nerd Freddie. Always has to be the smartest kid around. Finished four years of college in two. Jeeze.'_

"Oh okay." I said. "So…?"

"So yeah… so after they graduated college, Carly started working as Freddie's secretary. Originally Freddie started at a lower rank of the company but within two years he became CEO of Pear Company. He also hired Brad to be a part of his finance team in the company." Spencer said. I couldn't believe it. Freddie as a CEO. He was basically on top of the food chain when it came to the company. But he did deserve it. He always worked hard.

"And what about Gibby?" I asked.

"Well he started to work for a public relations firm. And Carly and Gibby were still going strong until a few months ago." Veronica said.

"Well what happened?" I asked.

"Well a few months ago, Gibby's granddad got sick and then he passed away." Spencer said.

"Oh my God! Poor Gibby!"

"Yeah. It took a huge toll on him. He started to distance himself away from everyone and everything. He left toLos Angeleswhere his mom and Guppy were. His firm transferred him to their offices over there. And well after that it just went downhill. He started pushing Carly away." Spencer said. "At first he kept in touch, called, emailed, video chatted but than after two months or so, no one heard from him anymore. It's been a little over two months now since we heard from him. It drove Carly crazy."

"So… this all lead to Freddie and Carly getting engaged?"

"Well about a month ago, Veronica and I found out that we were going to become parents." Spencer said.

"Oh my God Spence! Congratulations!" I screamed. I hugged Spencer and then Veronica. "I am so happy for you guys!"

Veronica smiled, "Thanks."

Spencer smiled and then said, "Well Carly was happy at first but then she realized that I was moving on in life and she was stuck in her past hoping to hear from Gibby. She started to feel like she no longer had a place in my life. I told her that she always had a place here and didn't have to move out, she was my little sister and nothing would change that but she didn't accept that."

"And when I told her that she could move in with me, she said she didn't want to be a burden and stuff like that. She said that I too was moving on in life as my relationship with Brad was going strong and she was still stuck in her past." Melanie said.

"Then she started going into a depression. She felt like she had no place to go. Freddie saw how she was and he was able to relate. Carly was just spiraling down into this deep hole of depression. She felt alone, like she didn't have anyone. She just wanted Gibby to come back but there wasn't any sign of him coming back. And Freddie understood Carly's pain… he was going through the same thing. Like you, Gibby stopped all forms of contact… and the way Carly was waiting for Gibby, Freddie was still waiting for you. The two came to the conclusion that they were stuck in their past and the only way to move on was with each other." Spencer said. "At first they were just going to move in together but Carly didn't want to move in with him cause she felt it was wrong to live with a guy who isn't your family or husband and than they started discussing a contract marriage. They really didn't want to get married but it seemed like the best decision to them. The rest of us still disagree but then we were like at least they'd have each other and maybe that could help them come out of the slumps they were in. I just wanted you and Gibby to come back so Carls and Freddo could truly be happy but that didn't happen. So the two of them got engaged and here we are today."

"How come Carly didn't go looking for Gibby?" I asked.

"At first she wanted to give him time then it was because she didn't want to seem desperate. And when she started to go looking for him, she didn't know how to go about it. She tried to do it herself but failed. His firm wouldn't give out his information so she had nothing to work with. She didn't want to use Freddie's contacts to try to find him. You know Carly, never wanting to take from others." Spencer said. That was one thing I could agree with… Carly never would allow herself to take from others. Regardless of how much the other person had and how little she had. "And Freddie…" Spencer continued, "he waited for you. He didn't want to go against your wishes and go looking for him. And he also wanted to do as you asked him to and always be there for Carls."

"How did you know-"

Spencer cut me off, "How did I know that you asked him to look after her? Well he told me. He still tells me pretty much everything, you know."

_'So I'm pretty much the reason the love of my life and my best friend are getting married!' _I thought to myself. _'Just great!'_

"Maybe now that you're back, Freddie can have his love back and his happiness back." Spencer said. "I still don't think he and Carly should be getting married. I rather see the two of them happy because they're happy without having to force it. And I know only you can make Freddie happy."

"Who said I want to be with Freddie?" I asked.

"It's obvious you still love him Sam." Veronica said.

"And how would you know that? You weren't even around when he and I were together."

"The way you've been looking at that old picture of you two since you got here." Veronica replied. That's when I realized that most of the time that I had spent in the Shay apartment, I was looking at this one picture of me and Freddie from back in the day when we were dating.

"I-I-I wasn't." I stuttered.

"If it's obvious to Veronica, than imagine how obvious it is to us that you still love him." Spencer said. Melanie nodded her head.

"Okay, say I do still love him. That won't fix anything. Carly needs him."

"But she wants Gibby." Melanie said.

"And you being back would be enough for her." Veronica added.

"I don't think so. Remember that Carly is going into this depression because she is stuck in the past, well maybe only Freddie can pull her out of it." I said. "I think it's best I go back and we pretend I was never here."

"Sam…" Spencer said.

"Spence…" I replied.

"Their marriage would just be a contract. A written understanding. No love. Just a compromise. Yes, they love each other as best friends but not the way a husband and wife love each other." Spencer said. I looked down at the floor. I didn't know what to say.

"Maybe Freddie is Carly's only chance of being happy again." I whispered.

"I don't think so. They deserve true love Sam and they aren't in love." Spencer said.

"I can't believe you're trying to talk me into breaking off this wedding." I exclaimed. "It's your little sister."

"I just want her to be happy. She isn't thinking straight and he is just doing whatever he thinks you would want him to do. But I know the two of them. I know this isn't how it should be." Spencer said.

"I just don't know." I said. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Just than there was a knock on the door.

It was Freddie. "Spencer, you in there?"


	10. iFeel Spencer's Pain

_**Author's Note: Hello my fellow Seddie-shippers! I'm back with another chapter! Double digits man! Woah. **_

_**This is for all of you that have kept reading! You guys are awesome!**_

_**To the people who are reading but aren't reviewing... come on! The more reviews I get, the faster I update, and the faster I update: the more you get to enjoy the story. SO STOP BEING LAZY AND REVIEW!**_

**_Thanks to the people that added this story under their favorites and me under their favorite authors :)_**

_**-Em**_

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><p>iFeel Spencer's Pain<p>

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><p>Hearing his voice always made my heart drop to my stomach. I looked at Spencer, who looked at Melanie, who looked at Veronica, who was looking back at me. We heard Freddie knock again, "Spencer?"<p>

I whispered to Spencer to say something so Freddie wouldn't get suspicious. "Freddo, one sec." Spencer yelled. I whispered that I would be hiding in Spencer's room and I glanced over the room to make sure I didn't leave anything around that would give traces of me being here.

I ran into Spencer's room and slightly opened the door so I could see a little bit and be able to hear everything. Immediately Veronica and Melanie went to the kitchen. They pulled out some leftovers and began to pretend that they were eating dinner at the dining table when Spencer opened the door to his apartment. All I could hear was Spencer. "Hey." Spencer said.

"Why'd you take so long to answer?" Freddie asked.

"We were having dinner." Spencer said. I could hear the nervousness in his voice.

"This late?"

"Yeah, we were going to invite you to eat with us but we ended up eating really late." Spencer said. _'Good save.'_ I thought. _'Everyone here has gotten so much better at lying since I've left.'_

I couldn't see anything until Freddie walked into the apartment and Spencer followed.

"Hey." Freddie said to Melanie and Veronica. All I could see was the back of his head but just knowing he was here made me feel tingly inside. _'Okay,' _I thought, _'knock it off body of mine! He is my best friend who happens to be my other best friend's fiancé.'_

Melanie and Veronica just waved as they shoved food into their mouths. "What are you doing here, Mel? Freddie asked.

"Oh nothing. I was bored alone and still quite pissed off at you so I thought I might as well come down here and spend some quality time with the people I love most who don't lie to my twin sister about me having had an accident." Melanie said with a poisonous tone.

"Well Freddo," Spencer said, "you shouldn't have lied to Sam like that." I tried to see the expressions on their faces but I was too far away to be able to make out their expressions but I assumed Spencer had the same look on his face as he did a few minutes earlier when I told him about my video chat with Freddie.

"I don't want to talk about this." Freddie said angrily. He composed himself and said, "I just wanted to come and get the files for the closing of the building." When I was telling Spencer that I had moved toNew York City, he mentioned that he and Freddie together were buying some buildings inSeattle,Los Angeles,San FranciscoandNew York City. Spencer had started to gain fame due to his artwork and museums all over the country had exhibits with his artwork and so he was investing the money he made in buying buildings and when he told Freddie, that dork thought it was a good idea and they became partners. "Where are the files?" Freddie asked.

"Ohh… they're in… uhh…" Spencer said. I noticed Veronica point towards the bedroom I was in when Freddie wasn't looking. I looked around and on the table next to me I found a folder titled "Bushwell Plaza Buy Off" with numerous files inside. _'OH SHIT.' _I thought.

"Spence… don't tell me you lost it." Freddie said.

"No, I haven't." Spencer said quickly. "I was going through it earlier today. It's in my bedroom."

"Oh. Okay, I will get it." Freddie said as he began to walk towards Spencer's bedroom.

"NO!" Spencer nearly screams. "Don't worry," he says, calming down, "I will get it for you."

"Nah, Spence, its fine. You guys sit and finish dinner. I will just quickly run and get it." Everyone was looking at the door when Freddie started to come towards the room I was in.

_'SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.' _I thought. I looked around the room and saw a closet door. I opened the door in hopes that it had just enough space for me to fit into and found the closet half empty. I hid inside and I heard Freddie's footsteps. The footsteps stopped and I heard Freddie mumble something about only wanting to have seen me again. I could barely hear what he was saying but I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear him say it. _'The past is the past.' _I thought in my head. _'He's Carly's fiancé. Even if he wants to see you or whatever, he isn't yours anymore. It doesn't matter because he's not yours. Stop wanting him. He's not yours.' _I thought to myself over and over again.

I heard Freddie walking again and than no more noise. After I was sure he was gone, I slid to the floor of the closet and took a huge breath. I felt like I could finally breathe again now that he was gone and I hadn't been caught. Then I stumbled to get up and accidentally hit the light switch inside the closet and I finally was able to see everything in the there.

There were pictures all around and some women's clothes and all these other items. At first I thought the pictures were of Veronica and Spencer but than I wondered why their pictures would be inside the closet and not out there. I took a closer look at the pictures and saw it wasn't Veronica in the pictures but rather… Sasha Striker. I remembered Spencer and Sasha had lost touch with each other after he gave up playing Pak-Rat but then the two reconnected and a few months before the lock-in they started to date again. They were already dating for about three months when I kissed Freddie at the lock-in. Boy were they cute together; I was so sure he would end up with Sasha. Actually, we were all sure they would end up together. I mean they did get engaged about two months after the lock in and they were planning their wedding during summer of the next year. Their wedding was supposed to be onAugust 31, 2012but I left a few weeks before that. I guess they broke off the wedding? Such a shame. They were so cute together.

I looked around the closet wondering what the hell these pictures were doing in here and if Veronica knew that Spencer had put these in here. I looked at the rest of the pictures; there were a few pictures that I was in. There was this one group picture of Sasha, Spence, me, Fredweird, Carls and Gibby in front of Six Flags that was from June 2012. I kept looking around and to my shock, I saw a big picture of Spencer and Sasha… on their wedding day! _'WAIT.' _I thought, _'WHAT THE HELL!' _Beneath that picture was a beautiful white laced photo album with pearls incrusted in the cover. On the cover there was a silver slate with the engraving:

_S&S  
>Our Wedding<em>

_Spencer and Sasha Shay_

_August 31 2012_

I opened the photo album and saw the pictures. The wedding was beautiful. There was one picture of the wedding party table where Spencer and Sasha were seated. Besides them, the entire bride's maids and groom's men party and family were seated; and so was Benson. Carly was a part of the wedding party. I remembered Sasha asking her to be a bride's maid a few weeks after Spence had proposed and Carly jumped with excitement. Benson wasn't a part of the wedding but Spencer sat him at the table, I guess as family. Feddifer was sitting next to Carly who was seated besides Colonel Steven Shay. On the other side of Freddie was an empty chair. I looked closely at the table card and could just barely make out the name 'Samantha Puckett.'

_'Awwwh.' _I thought, _'Spencer seated me at the table with family and the wedding party.' _Even thought I had been gone fromSeattle for a few weeks by than, they still left a chair in my honor. Just than I heard the closet door being opened and I jumped only to see Spencer.

"Hey… oh." Spencer said.

"You saved me a seat at the wedding table even though I wasn't a part of the wedding and even though I was gone." I said.

"You've always been family to me, Sam. You know that." Spencer said. "Sasha and I wanted to make you a bride's maid too but she had too many family members and since we didn't want to leave you out, I didn't ask Freddie to be a part of my wedding either… that is until I asked him to be a groom's men when I was marrying Veronica."

I smiled and than the smile quickly faded. "I'm sorry Spence. I always thought you and Sasha would be together forever."

"I did too." He whispered.

"Why did you guys get divorced?" I asked. His eyes grew wide open and I saw him getting all teary.

"We never did…"

"Than?" I asked.

He pointed to a picture of him and Sasha. He was hugging her from behind and they both had their hands over her very pregnant stomach. "This picture was taken about three months after the wedding." Spencer said.

"Wait… what?" I asked in amazement. "But she's clearly very pregnant here."

"Seven months and one week to be exact." Spencer said. "Sasha and I found out two months before the wedding that she was two months pregnant. We didn't want to tell anyone before the wedding so we kept it a secret which was easy to do because she was only about four months pregnant at the time of the wedding and she wasn't showing yet."

"Yeah, most women don't show until like their fifth or sixth month." I interrupted.

"Yeah. Well… we were happy. We got married. We had a kid on the way. Everything was perfect."

"And then?" I asked nervously.

"And then it happened."

"What happened?" I asked still looking at the picture.

"It was about two weeks after we took this picture," he said, pointing to the picture again, "she was about six weeks from her due date and I asked her to stay in bed but she wouldn't listen. She hated being stuck in bed so she went to the grocery store with Carly. It was a few weeks before Christmas and she wanted to get all the grocery shopping done so I agreed to let her go. When they were walking back towards the car, a drunk driver swerved into the street and Sasha pushed Carly out of the street and she got hit instead." I could see Spencer begin to tear up. "They rushed her to the hospital but it was too late. She died along with our little girl inside her." He said as he pointed to another picture. It was a framed sonogram. "That was the last sonogram we took of her. When we found out she was a girl. Sasha and I were so excited." I couldn't help it, I felt tears stream down my eyes. I turned to Spencer to see tears rolling down his cheeks.

I hugged him. "I'm sorry Spence." I said.

"I am too. I went into denial and than depression and I really hit rock bottom afterwards. For a few months I stopped eating and I couldn't sleep. Carls had to shove food down my throat to keep me alive. I just felt like everything sucked. Living became hell. Than about six months or so had passed and Veronica and I met at the graduation. She saw how I was and wanted to be there for me. We became friends again and got really close. She became my best friend and was always there for me… and then she started having feelings for me. We didn't start dating for a while though. We started dating a year after Carls had graduated. At first I didn't want to but Carls, Freddie and Gibby talked me into moving forward especially because of how much Veronica loved and cared for me. I tried to talk Freddie into moving forward too but he told me that you would always come back, you could always come back but Sasha couldn't and with that Veronica and I started dating and we dated for a while before I proposed. It was so hard for me to move on, especially as I watched Freddie pine for you. He always had hope and he would still be waiting for you if he didn't think that Carly needed him. Actually Sam, Freddie is still waiting for you. He's just marrying Carly so she doesn't go into more of a depression. I know Freddie a lot Sam and I know his love. His love for you is the same everlasting, undying love I have for Sasha, no matter how cheesy or corny that sounds. Freddie wanted you to come back so he could talk to you face to face. He doesn't want to marry Carly. He thinks he has to because Gibson disappeared and she was sinking into an abyss. That's why once he found out that Mel still had contact with you, he tried to get you to come back. I don't know what he planned to do once you came back, maybe he didn't think that through because all he knows is that he wants you. He doesn't want to marry my sister and I tell you all this because look Sam… I can never give Veronica the love I have for Sasha. I still love Sasha, more than anything. She was everything to me and still is. I love Veronica, don't get me wrong, I do but I know I can never love her the way I love Sasha and that's why I don't want this wedding between Carly and Freddie to happen. I love them both, a lot but Freddie loves you and only you. To this very day… and my sister deserves more than just to be a second choice. Veronica knows that I still love Sasha and always will and I know it kills her inside even though she doesn't say anything. I mean what woman wants to be her husband's second choice? But she loves me so she puts up with it and stays quiet and I don't want that for Carly. I couldn't control my situation but I can control Carly's. Don't make Carly's life turn into what Veronica's life is. Even though Veronica loves me and Carly loves Gibby, she will be married to Freddie and every woman wants her husband to love them even if she loves someone else. I don't want Carly to feel the same pain Veronica does." Spencer said.

I tried to take in everything he was saying but I couldn't bring myself to believe that Freddie still loves me. All I knew was that Carly needed Freddie and Freddie knows that. Maybe he didn't plan out what to do once I got back but all I cared was that Carly find some ounce of happiness. I guess I said my thoughts out loud because Spencer replied, "She won't be happy with him. She'll be pining for Gibby and Freddie will be pining for you. And then later on, she will also start to feel guilt for marrying Freddie, and feel guilty that he married her to keep her from being lonely and sad, she will guilt herself into thinking she loves him, the way she did when he saved her life from that taco truck and when she realizes that he can never love her, it will hurt her even more."

"He could love her, you know?" I said.

"Maybe." Spencer said, "but not the way he loves you. I just want happiness all of you. This wedding will bring nothing but pain. Now and in the long run."

I closed my eyes and tried to hold back my tears.

I wanted to change the subject. "And this closet?" I asked.

"Veronica put everything in here so I still had my memories of Sasha but it just hurt her too much to keep these outside, around the house." Spencer answered.

"Oh…" I said. I gave Spencer a weak smile and we walked to the kitchen where Melanie and Veronica were cleaning up after their little show for Freddie.


	11. iDream And Yet iCan't Sleep

**_Author's Note: This chapter is for my PIC-BUDDY (p i c = partner in crime) S. Benson! By the way, you should totally read her story called 'iSeddie'... it's one of the best stories I have read here and my PIC-BUDDY is awesome, as a writer and as a friend! So this is for you babe! :)_**

**_READERS... PLEASE STOP BEING LAZY AND REVIEW!  
>Please and thank you? *makes innocent face*<em>**

**_- Em_**

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><p>iDream And Yet iCan't Sleep<p>

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><p>Melanie and Veronica looked up at me and smiled wearily. I was growing tired of their looks. It was as if I was a living sob story that needed sympathy and that isn't what I wanted. I didn't want their pity. Damn it, I'm Samantha Puckett. I don't need anyone looking at me with that sad look in their eyes. I'm strong. I'm a fighter. I don't need anyone… let alone some stupid boy that I dated almost a decade ago! Alright fine, it's been less than six years. But you get the idea. I mean it was so long ago. I left in August 2012 and now it's May 2018. In a few months it'll be six whole years. I don't need him. I haven't needed him in a long time. I don't need him. End of story. But there is someone… someone else who needs him.<p>

I looked at Spencer whose eyes were still red and puffy from crying in the closet. I felt bad for him. See, now Spencer was someone you needed to feel bad for. He lost the love of his life and his first child. Yeah Veronica is a great girl, I know she is, and yeah she is expecting his child but from what he was telling me earlier, I got the feeling that he sort of only dated her because he knew that she had started to have feelings for him but than with time he had grown to care for her and love her but it wasn't the same as it was with Sasha. Spencer's words were still ringing in my head, "I need Sasha more than I need anything. I need her more than I need air to breathe and now that she's gone, it's her memories that I live by. It's her memories that I need to be able to keep going. I love Veronica, but with her, it's not as much of a need as it is a want." Poor Spencer, watching his wife and child die. It must have killed him but I know what it means to have lost a child. _'No, I'm not going to think about that,' _I told myself. I was strong and I'm not going back to that place.

I heard Melanie snap her fingers and I broke free from my thoughts. "Huh?" I asked, "What, Mel?"

"Veronica was asking you a question." Melanie said.

"Oh sorry…" I said. "I was out of it."

"Clearly." Mel said. "What were you thinking about?"

"Oh nothing." I lied. This was something I didn't want to talk about. This wasn't something I ever wanted to even think about again. "So what were you asking Veronica?" I asked facing towards her.

"I asked how long you plan on staying. I was actually asking Mel this when Spencer went to get you but she said she didn't know and was hoping that she could keep you here for a while." Veronica asked.

I thought about it. I wanted to stay but I couldn't. "I don't know. I'm going to call to book two flights tomorrow morning and hopefully Lucy and I will be back home by tomorrow evening."

"No you can't leave that soon!" Veronica almost whined.

"You know Sam, this is your home." Melanie said.

"I can't believe you still don't understand." Spencer mumbled.

"I want to stay, believe you me, I do. But I can't. A lot has changed in the past six years. Actually everything has changed. And nothing can ever change the fact that what happened has happened." I said trying to fight back the tears. "I want to stay here and enjoy the company of you guys. I want to be able to relax, catch up, chat the night away and just have fun. But I can't."

"Sam…" Spencer started to say but I cut him off.

"Please understand Spence." I said looking down at the hardwood floor.

"Damn it…" he said, "I wish you would stay. I wish you would come face to face with a particular somebody and talk to him. But my wishes are pointless wishes that won't come true because you're stubborn and you refuse to believe that he still loves you."

"Spence… I'm not breaking up this wedding. If I talk to him, that's just what might happen and I'm not risking it." I said quietly. I couldn't break this wedding up. Carly is my best friend. Why doesn't Spencer get that? He swears he's right and I'm wrong but what if he's wrong and I'm right? What if Freddie is Carly's only way out of her misery?

"Whatever Sam. After everything I said, after as much as I tried to explain, you still don't get it. Fine, whatever. You won't break off this wedding but I sure as hell will. You think you're helping Carly but you're not and in the end this will only cause her more emotional trauma but whatever cause you think you know every fucking little thing and refuse to understand what I keep trying to explain." And with that Spencer walked to the living room and sat down and turned on the television. Soon us girls joined him and soon he forgot our whole fight and I was able to enjoy just spending some time with him, Mel and Veronica.

Melanie, Veronica, Spencer and I talked on the couch, joked, laughed and had some good old fun until we realized that it was already midnight. Melanie and I went back downstairs after I promised Spencer and Veronica that they would be able to meet Lucy tomorrow. I checked on Lucy who was still sound asleep before I changed into my pajamas. She looked like an angel. Melanie knocked out downstairs in the guest room and I slid in quietly next to Lucy on Melanie's bed and closed my eyes. I drifted fast into sleep and I began to dream another moment from my past.

**I woke up to the sound of a heart beating and looked around; we had fallen asleep on Carly's couch. I had fallen asleep listening to his heart beating. Whenever I would have a bad day, whenever I was overworked or just too tired, putting my head on his chest and listening to his heart beat always calmed me down.**

"**Fredlumps… wake up." I said into Freddie's left ear. Freddie twitched but didn't get up. I got up and checked my phone. There were a few missed calls from my mom. Recently she was trying so hard to be a good mom and I was trying hard to be a good daughter too. It was never too late to make up for lost times. I called her back and reassured her I was okay. Back in the days she never worried if I was out all night or not but recently she's been more interested in my life and wanted to check up on me more. She would ask me to let her know if I planned to spend the night out, and I always told her except for last night which was totally unplanned. I guess I just knocked out and Freddie didn't want to leave me. My mom was trying hard. So hard that she tried to give me the sex talk but Freddie and I were already doing it by than. Actually we had been doing it for over a month by the time she decided to talk to me about it. I reassured her that we were protected. Mrs. Benson also knew that we were having sex but she didn't freak out. Actually she thought we were already having sex a long time before we actually were. **

**I hung up the phone and went into Carly's bathroom where I had a spare toothbrush. The door to Carly's room was locked and I didn't want to knock and wake her up so I decided to go across the hall and get the spare toothbrush that I had in Freddie's bathroom.**

**Mrs. Benson had accepted me and Freddie being together for almost a year now. Actually she found out about our relationship almost immediately after we started to date and it took her a while to accept it but with time she did and she welcomed me into her family with loving arms. **

**On our six month anniversary, on October 2011, Freddie and I spent the night together. We didn't have sex, but we did fall asleep watching movies in his bedroom. When I woke up, I was shocked to see it was 7AM. I quietly walked out of his room trying not to wake him or Mrs. Benson because I was so sure she would freak out if she saw that I was coming out of her son's room, early in the morning, wearing the same clothes from last night. But Mrs. Benson was awake already and she gave me an 'I don't want to know' sort of look. Later that day she sat me and Freddie down and discussed sex with us. Freddie told her we weren't having sex and that we weren't ready yet and she understood that we were telling the truth. But she still wanted to talk to us about it for when we were ready. I clearly remember her saying, **_**"You two are old enough to make your own decisions and I won't try to influence that. I trust both of you and know you both love each other and respect each other a lot so I will always stand by you and respect your decision. I won't say 'Don't have sex.' Or 'Wait until you're married.' I know you **__**two can decide that for yourselves but all I want to say is that sex is beautiful. I mean yeah its fun. Really fun. Even I won't deny that… but sex is more than just about protection, birth control, STDs and orgasms. Sex can mean nothing at all or it can mean everything. It just depends on the person, your feelings and the timing." **_**I remember Freddie's face too. He was shocked that she was saying this instead of what we expected her to say which was don't do it or I will ground you until you're 40. And we were also kind of creeped out that she said how "fun" sex is but that's besides the point. Although six months later we did find out just how fun sex really is and boy is it fun. SO SO FUN. But she was also right about the meaning of sex and our sex had meaning. It wasn't just sex... to us it was love making.  
><strong>

**After that she handed me a key and said that she knew we weren't having sex and that sometimes we do sleep together, and we actually just sleep but she wanted me to have a key to the house so I wouldn't have to always knock and she even kept a spare toothbrush in Freddie's bathroom for me. I won't deny, the key did come in handy... especially after we started having sex. It was easier to sneak around. Although we didn't really need to but it just made it more exciting.**

**I smiled remembering all this as I pulled out the key to the Benson apartment and went into Freddie's bathroom to brush my teeth. I came out to see Mrs. Benson drinking coffee at the bar in the kitchen. "Good morning Sam." **

"**Good Morning, Mrs. Benson." **

"**Will you and Freddie be having breakfast here or at Carly's?" **

"**Oh… well Freddie hasn't woken up yet."**

"**Oh okay, well I'm actually going out to run some errands. Do you want me to make breakfast and leave it for you guys?" Mrs. Benson asked sweetly.**

"**No, it's fine. We will just grab something to eat at Carly's. Sasha has gone into a cooking addiction lately." I said.**

"**Oh okay than. That gives me more time to run my errands." We talked a little more until Freddie came in and brushed his teeth, took a shower and changed. Then Freddie and I went back to Carly's to find Sasha making breakfast and Spencer and Carly at the dining table. **

"**Sweet. Pancakes and bacon." Freddie said as we walked over to the dining table. There was something that was making my stomach feel weird. I had no clue what it was. And the smell… normally I loved the smell of bacon but today, today it was nauseating. I pushed those thoughts away from my mind and tried to sit down and relax. Freddie put three pancakes on my plate and a few strips of bacon. I ate and we all started to talk. **

"**Do you know what today is?" Sasha asked excitedly.**

"**Uhm… Wednesday." I answered. **

"**Yeah… but…" Sasha said. "Today is…"**

"**Uhh the first of August…" Carly said looking as confused as me.**

"**Yes… but…" Sasha said. "Oh come on guys." The excitement dropping from her face.**

"**Today is thirty more days until our wedding." Spencer said smiling.**

"**Correct!" Sasha almost squealed. **

"**Oh lover boy knows everything." Freddie joked.**

**Spencer glared at Freddie, "Oh you shouldn't be talking." **

**We laughed and ate and just as I was about to take a bite of my bacon, I felt nauseous again and I ran to the bathroom. I started throwing up and soon Freddie and Carly came in and held my hair. I must have been throwing up for at least fifteen minutes but it felt like forever. I rinsed my mouth with Listerine and washed my face. **

"**What was that?" Spencer asked.**

"**Oh nothing. Must have been the food I ate last night." **

"**I told you to stop eating sushi from a truck!" Spencer said.**

**I laughed, "But it's so good."**

**Freddie and I spent the rest of the day hanging out with Sasha, Spencer and Carly. We went to Groovy Smoothies and even the smoothies were making my stomach upset but I didn't let anyone know that. We finalized some wedding plans for Sasha and Spencer. Boy was she excited to be getting married. I was so tired that I knocked out on Freddie's couch. I don't know why but lately I've been feeling extra weak and tired. Must be some hormonal imbalance or I haven't been getting enough vitamins or calcium or whatever it is that I needed to stay healthy.**

**I was dozing off on the couch when I heard Freddie telling Mrs. Benson about our day. I was hoping he didn't mention my little vomit attack this morning… but he did. **

"**Oh my… is she okay? I heard Mrs. Benson ask.**

"**Yeah. It was like food poisoning or something. She ate sushi from a truck again." Freddie said in a disgusted voice.**

"**Oh… did she throw up again all day?" **

"**No. But she's been looking very sick and she's just so tired now. I don't think she had the strength to even throw up if she had to." Freddie said with compassion in his voice. I was dozing more into my sleep but I could still hear them talking.**

"**Freddie…" Mrs. Benson asked hesitantly, "You two are using some sort of protection, right?" **

"**Yes ma, we are." Freddie said. "Wait. Why would you ask that now? We had this talk already." **

"**I know… but…"**

**Freddie cut her off and began to whisper, "Don't tell me you're worried I got her pregnant or something, mom." **

"**No… I just… it's just… I" Mrs. Benson hesitated again.**

"**Don't worry mom. That surely isn't the case. Whatever it is, it's not that she's pregnant. Definitely not. We aren't stupid. We use contraceptives. We aren't about to make that mistake and throw our lives away."**

**The last thing I heard was Mrs. Benson say "Good to know." Hah, me pregnant. Hah. Like I would be stupid enough to get pregnant at 17. But Mrs. Benson was just looking out for us. **

**I woke up and had breakfast with Freddie and Mrs. Benson. I had a doctor's appointment later on in the day so we could check the results from my blood work. I had taken some blood tests last Friday and boy did I hate blood tests. Getting shots were so much better. In than out. But blood tests. Ugh the needle stayed in for a while. But that's over. Now its just results. **

**I was called in see the doctor less than five minutes after I signed in. I sat and waited on the examination bed that had thin purple paper on it. I never understood the need for this paper. I always felt like it was just a waste of paper… constantly having to rip the paper and pull out more after every patient. Was it even necessary? I was so lost in thought over the paper on the examination bed that I didn't even realize that Dr. Martin walk in until she spoke.  
><strong>

"**Hello Samantha." She spoke sweetly as she shook my hand than went to sit at her desk and pulled up my health records on her computer. "And how are you today?" she asked looking towards me with a smile. Dr. Martin was a tall, thin woman who had been my doctor since I was 12. She was always so sweet and would always give me candy after shots and blood tests because she knew how much I hated them. **

"**I'm okay. I guess. Just want to know what's wrong with me." **

"**Hmm… well have you been feeling sick again lately?"**

"**Well yes and no at the same time. I mean nothing has happened lately except I threw up yesterday." I said.**

"**For the first time since you came here a few days ago?"**

"**Yeah. When I came in last week Friday, it was just because of my tiredness and headaches but I didn't throw up… that is until yesterday."**

"**I see." Dr. Martin said. "Well let's pull up your blood results on here and see what's up. I'm sure your fatigue is just some sort of hormone imbalance and your headaches are just from stress. You did say you were helping with a friend's wedding. That might just be the reason." She smiled sweetly and started typing on her computer. I saw some graphs and stuff but I didn't want to push my face into her computer screen so I waited patiently while she looked through the charts on the computer. Then she looked at me sort of shocked. I began to feel my heart drop to my stomach. There was something wrong with me, I knew it. **

"**Wha-wha-what's wrong with me doc?" I asked nervously.**

**She regained her composure and got up. She checked inside my ears, my mouth, did the usual and than started to speak. "Well Samantha…" hearing her say Samantha made me cringe. I only liked when Freddie called me that. And I was even okay with Mrs. Benson calling me that… but no one else. "See the thing is…" Dr. Martin began again, "there is a hormonal imbalance."**

**I breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh okay. Thank God. You had me worried for a second there that it was something serious. So what do I have to do, you know to help with my hormones. Like do I start eating differently? What?"**

**Dr. Martin shook her head. "No Samantha. It's not like that. You have a hormonal imbalance because… because you're pregnant Sam." **

**I looked at her and my eyes almost fell out of my head. Pregnant? Me? No way. No. I couldn't be. I just had my period. No. Dr. Martin was wrong. I'm not pregnant. No. I closed my eyes and remembered what Freddie was telling his mom last night. "Don't worry mom. That surely isn't the case. Whatever it is, it's not that she's pregnant. Definitely not. We aren't stupid. We use contraceptives. We aren't about to make that mistake and throw our lives away." Freddie's words still rang in my ears as tears began to stream down my eyes.**

**It was all my fault. All mine. No one else's. Not Freddie's. Just mine. I became sloppy with my birth control pills. At first I took them every day but after a few months I missed a few pills here and there. It was all my fault. I opened my eyes when I felt Dr. Martin hugging me. Normally I hated hugs but right now I needed it. I began to say in between breaths, "How… far… along… am I?" **

**Dr. Martin broke the hug and went back to her computer to check. "Well… by the looks of it, you aren't that far along. Only two weeks along actually."**

"**Oh." That's all I could manage to say. I put my hands over my stomach and began to cry more. I had just ruined my life. Worse, I had just ruined Freddie's life. My sobs became louder. "I don't know what to do. What am I going to do?"**

**Dr. Martin came and sat down next to me on the examination bed. "Well sweetie… you're not that far along. You still have a few options open. You can carry this child to term and either raise this child or give this child up for adoption. OR… you can always… you can always abort."**

**I looked at her with horror. "No. No. I can't have an abortion. Can I? NO! No, I can't. I can't abort my baby. But I can't give this baby up either." I said to myself, crying more than I had before. How can I give up the child that Freddie and I had made together? This child was a symbol of our love. How can I destroy or throw that away? I can't. I won't. But how can I destroy Freddie's life? He isn't ready for this child yet. Neither am I… but at least I don't really have a life of my own to destroy. Freddie on the other hand has so much in store for him. He can go places. Be something. But I was different. It was a month and half before my senior year and I had no idea what I wanted to be, where I wanted to go for college or any of that. All I knew what that I was pregnant.**

I woke up startled as all the emotions from that day came rushing back. I than looked at Lucy who was still sound asleep next to me hugging her teddy bear Mr. Snuggles Benson. I felt guilty as I looked at Lucy. I couldn't believe that I thought I had destroyed my life when I found out I was pregnant with her. I was young and I had no idea what to do and I didn't understand life. But I knew now that having Lucy was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. She made me strong and independent. She made me grow up and have dreams and goals. I sat up in bed and wondered if she would have made Freddie's life better too. But I soon realized he wouldn't have ever become all that he is today if he had a crying baby in his lap during the end of senior year and through college. I was lucky that I found Monica in New York. Without her I wouldn't have finished senior year in one semester instead of two. If I hadn't graduated in January instead of the end of June like every other senior, I would have had to go through senior year all over again because I would have missed a lot due to Lucy's birth. But thanks to Monica, I was able to finish in one semester instead of two. Of course it wasn't easy, but I pulled through… with Monica's help. She's helped me a lot over the years. But I owe her the most for how she helped me raise Lucy. She was like Lucy's second mom. The stricter one. I think it's because she was the first one to hold Lucy. But Lucy loved her aunt Monica even if she was really strict sometimes.

I looked at my phone and smiled. Monica had sent me a text saying good night at 8:18PM, which was 11:18PM New York City time. I felt bad for not having called or texted her all day long especially cause it's been such a long and eventful day but I would call her in the morning.

I laid back down on the bed and thought about how good life had treated me in New York. I went there expecting nothing but got everything. I went there thinking I had no future but ended up in medical school. I went there thinking I had no money but ended up getting a job for the top newspaper in the city. I went there with no hope but found everything. I didn't think I would have anyone in NYC but I ended up with such a great family. The newspaper was my family… everyone that worked there knew each other and respected each other. We were there for each other and we truly were a family. Monica became my family. When I met Monica on the train, she was a 22-year old intern. Only a mere five years older than I and she got me an internship as an assistant. Than from there we both grew in the paper. I became advice columnist and she became a part of the board of directors. Monica became like a sister to me as the years passed and I was so grateful to have her in my life. Other than her and the people at the paper, I made friends too. There was Sophia who became my best friend in the city. I went to the same high school as her during my senior year. She was a senior too and she stood up for me when I started to show in early December, during my fifth month of pregnancy. I would have stood up for myself but I was just too damn weak and pregnant. From there we became best friends even though I graduated early in January and she graduated on time in June. Sophie and I even ended up going to the same college while I majored in premed and she majored in psychology. Sophie stuck by me as did Monica and they were the ones there when I went into labor. The more I think about it, the more I realize that New York City gave me so much… but there was always one thing that was lacking. _'No! Damn it. I can't think like that. I won't think like that.'_ I thought to myself. _'He's not yours anymore. Stop thinking about him like that. New York was good to you. It lacked nothing.' _Oh but it did.

I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep but failed. There were just too many thoughts in my head. I looked at the time and it said 1:30AM. _'Great!' _I thought. _'It's 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. What am I supposed to do? I can't even call Monica or Sophia because it's still 4:30AM there and I can't wake up Mel… but I can't sleep.' _I thought to myself. I decided to get out of drink and drink a glass of warm milk. I opened the fridge and there was no milk. _'Ugh. Just great.' _I paced around the living room silently and the memories of Freddie and life before New York kept rushing back into my head. I felt like I couldn't breathe. _'I need fresh air. Yeah, that's what I need.' _I thought. I grabbed Mel's keys and went down the elevator. _'It's 1:30AM. No one will see me now so it's safe. Speaking of safe… thank God this neighborhood is safe enough for people to be able walk around late at night. That's one thing that hasn't changed.'_ I thought.

The elevator door opens to the main lobby where I see Lewbert sleeping. _'Something else that hasn't changed.' _I thought. At least now they had an around the clock doorman. _'I wonder why neither the nightshift doorman or the dayshift doorman has told the building owners about Lewbert's work ethics.' _I thought. _'Hmm… I wonder if Freddie and Spencer will fire him once they buy this building.' _Wow that was kind of a weird thought. I never imagined Freddie and Spencer owning this building but Spencer was telling me today that a lot of his buddies have moved in, like Socko and Tyler and a lot of the people who work for Freddie in the Seattle base Pear Co offices have moved in here too. I found it interesting that Freddie still lived with his mom even after becoming so successful. Well he has good roots.

I walked around the block a few times. It was a warm spring night. Summer was looming around the corner. In a few weeks it'd be summer already. Too bad I couldn't stick around to enjoy the fun summer nights that Seattle had to offer. New York summer nights were great. They really were. But this place… this place has all my memories. This place has my youth and my innocence. I looked up at Bushwell Plaza and all the apartment lights were off but I could see a small light coming from one of the windows. I smiled as I realized that was Freddie's window and that he still used a nightlight. I stared at that window. The window that led to the room where I had some of my best memories. Not too far from that window was our fire escape. Oh the wonderful memories. Than I looked back that the window and I began to remember the last time I was in that room. I last night I spent in his bed, in his arms. The last time I made him to him… for the last time ever. I closed my eyes and the memories rushed back.


	12. iHurt Every Time iRemember

**_Author's Note: This is another chapter for my PIC-BUDDY (p i c = partner in crime) S. Benson! Did you check out her story called 'iSeddie' yet? What? You haven't? You totally should. It's so awesome!_**

**_Seddie-shippers should also check out 'iWant Him, Not You' (by Kressxblack) and if you're like me and want some Alternative-Universe Seddie, than check out 'Just Have Faith' by Billie (justshine09)._**

**_NOW STOP BEING LAZY AND REVIEW!  
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**_(Oh and an FYI... the next chapter I will begin alternating POVs and you all will be blown away by what happens! But that chapter WILL NOT be updated until you guys start reviewing!)_**

**_- Em_**

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><p>iHurt Every Time iRemember<p>

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><p><strong>I was at Waterfront Park sitting on one of the benches. Behind me I could hear slightly hear the laughter of the young children who were playing on the swings and monkey bars. The playground wasn't too far from here and in front of me was a beautiful body of water. Coming here calmed me down a lot. I wasn't sure what it was about this place but it always made me feel so great. Maybe it's because after our first official date, Freddie and I came here and fed the ducks. I remembered our first date and I smiled. I looked around and there were no ducks today. It was a rare occasion when you would find ducks here, but to my amazement, every time Freddie and I came here together, the ducks were always here.<strong>

**It was a nice brisk Monday afternoon. It had been four whole days since I found out I was pregnant… I found out last Thursday and I tried to tell Freddie numerous times since I found out but I just couldn't. I tried to tell him the day I came home from the doctor's but the words didn't come out. I've been trying to tell him every day since than but something inside me kept me from telling him. But I decided I would give it one last try and just last night on the fire escape after Carly's hobo party I tried to tell him… I almost did… but I didn't. **

**I slightly adjusted myself so I could pull out an envelope from my pocket. I took out the envelope and pulled out the two tickets that were inside. **

**The Amtrak train ticket read:**

**Train Number: 8 Empire Builder**

**Departs: 9:00 PM**

**Mon, Aug 6 2012**

**Seattle, WA (SEA)**

**Arrives: 12:40 AM**

**Tue, Aug 7 2012**

**Portland, OR (PDX)**

**Duration: 3 hr, 40 min**

**I put the ticket back in the envelope and looked at the next ticket: the plane ticket that would take me from Oregon to New York. I didn't know why I chose New York but when the travel agency lady asked me where I wanted to go from Oregon, New York just popped into my head. Maybe it's because it was on the other side of the country where no one could ever find me or maybe it was because I always heard stories of people going to New York and making it big. I didn't want an acting career or a singing career but I was sure I wanted to make something of myself, for my baby. I put my free hand over my flat stomach, which I had a feeling wasn't going to be flat for much longer and I read the ticket.**

**JetBlue Airways**

**Flight Number 791471**

**Portland, OR to New York City, NY**

**Departing PDX: 10:30 AM**

**Arrival JFK: 6:45 PM**

**Duration of Flight: 5 hr, 15 min**

**Time Zone Change -03 hr**

**I looked at the ticket and was confused as to how 10:30AM to 6:45PM was only five hours and fifteen minutes until I saw the additional message in the bottom of the time zone change. I guess New York was three hours ahead in time. I put the ticket back into the envelope and stared at the envelope. I knew I couldn't take a flight directly from Seattle to New York. You always had to wait so long to get on the plane and I was scared someone would find me and try to stop me. No actually, I wasn't scared that someone would try to stop me as much as I was scared that they would ask questions. I didn't want anyone to ask questions. So I decided the best and cheapest way to go about it was to take a train from here to Portland, spend the night at one of the cheap motels by the airport and take an early flight to New York from there. **

**I had everything figured out in my head. The nice lady at the travel agency, Jenna, was a help too. She not only helped me find the cheapest train and flight that fit my schedule, well not fit my schedule but just one that helped me not get caught… not that she knew that… and she helped me find the cheap motel in Portland by the airport where I could spend the night and she even went as far as helping me find a cheap motel to stay in while I was in New York… well it wasn't technically a motel but it was something. The place she found me was this little hostel in Times Square where they only charged you $15 a day to stay there but you literally only got a bunk bed and the bathroom was shared by half of the floor. It was just a little place for tourists to stay so they had a cheap place to sleep while they visited the city. I was lucky Jenna found me that place. She had it booked for the maximum amount of days they allowed you to stay which were fifteen. After that I would have to figure my shit out for myself. I was hoping by than I would find a job or something so I could stay somewhere else. **

**I did have some money though. Recently I had started to work; Freddie got me a job in the mailroom in this office where he was interning. I worked there for about eight months now and so I was able to save up for a "rainy day" as Freddie puts it. I also sold a lot of my stuff over the weekend. I mean I wasn't going to take any of that with me and I could use the money. Selling the iCarly memorabilia made me a pretty penny. **

**I shoved the envelope back in my pocket and walked back to Bushwell Plaza. It was about 1PM and I had a few hours left to spend with Carly, Spencer, Gibby and Freddie. We spent the day just hanging out like usual until I pulled Freddie back into his apartment.**

"**What? Sam, us leaving like that was just rude!" Freddie said.**

"**I know, I know. But I just want to spend some time with my handsome boyfriend." I said before kissing him. All I could think of what that this would be our last time together and soon I would be on my way to leave Seattle… for an indefinite amount of time.**

**I pushed him on to the door and started kissing his neck and nibbling on his earlobe. He began to groan which turned me on all the more. Suddenly he became very aware of where were. "She's at work until 7PM. Remember?" I whispered in his ear before kissing him again. Freddie put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him while our tongues battled for dominance. Than he grabbed me and turned around so my back was pushed up against the wall and he ran his soft hands all over my body. He pushed some of my curls off of my shoulder and began nibbling on my neck while his hands explored my body. **

**I hadn't made love to Freddie in a while and now… this was going to be our last time.**

**I took his hand and leaded him to his bedroom. His eyes grew wide as he saw the décor. "Wow… it looks just like the night of our first time." Freddie said. I nodded with a smile on my face. "When did you do all this?" **

**I looked around satisfied and answered, "While you guys were eating. I thought you know… let me just make it special." In my head I was thinking, **_**'It's going to be the last time I feel your touch on my skin. I want to always cherish this last time.'**_

"**It's beautiful…" he grinned, "much better than how I had decorated it."**

**I rolled my eyes. "Oh whatever." And I pulled his shirt over his head and pushed him onto the bed. He put his arms around my neck and kissed me passionately as I got on top of him. His kiss became more lustful, more intense, and more passionate and I moaned into his mouth. My moan must have been like a trigger for him because immediately he rolled me over so I was on the bed and began unbuttoning my shirt. **

**The rest of the afternoon was spent in Freddie's arms as we made passionate love. After we were done, he went to shower and I got redressed. Once I walked out those doors, I didn't plan on coming back… ever.**

I opened my eyes and I realized I was standing in front of Bushwell Plaza. The memory of my last time was Freddie never ceased to stop hurting me. Maybe it was because of the way I left? Maybe it was because I knew I would never feel that tender love and affection from him? Maybe it was simply because Freddie was everything I could ever want but he was no longer mine.

I had been walking around the block for half an hour and it was now time to go inside. I took the elevator up to Melanie's apartment and quietly crawled back into bed with Lucy. I was hoping to finally get some sleep.

"GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNINGGGG!" I heard Lucy scream into my ear. I turn to the alarm clock which reads 11:45.

"Good morning Luce." I say as I take her into a hug. "What time did you wake up baby doll?"

"Like 8ish." Melanie says as she walks in the door with a tray of food. "We didn't want to wake you because you looked so tired."

I looked at the tray of food and jumped out of bed to brush my teeth. I always felt so unhygienic if I would eat before brushing my teeth. I rushed back a few minutes later and started digging into the food that Melanie had brought me. I glance over to see Melanie and Lucy staring. "You guys ate, right?"

Melanie and Lucy started bursting out laughing. "You owe me $10 auntie Mel."

I looked at them confused. "Wait? What?"

"Lucy and I made a bet to see if you would ask your daughter if she already ate or would you dig into the food without any concern of whether your daughter ate or not… which she and I both did in case you were wondering. And I said of course you would make sure Lucy ate before you dug into the food but Lucy disagreed… and won." Melanie said, giggling. "I wonder if you ever feed her back in New York or does she have to get her own food."

I glared at Melanie and Lucy. "I feed you in New York. I was just hungry. And I assumed you would be a good enough aunt to make sure she ate since you both have been up for so long."

"Okay, okay." Melanie said.

"Sooo… what are our plans for today?" Lucy asked.

"Well, hopefully we're going home." I said.

Lucy's face dropped. "Noo! Please tell me you're kidding mommy."

"Nope. Sorry sweetie. I'm going to call your aunt Monica soon and have her arrange our flight back." Lucy looked at me with her puppy eyes but those weren't about to work and when she realized that her trick was failing, she stomped away angrily.

"That is definitely your kid. You can just tell by the anger." Melanie laughed.

"Oh whatever." I finished eating and Melanie took away the tray. I picked up my cell phone and called Monica. On the second ring she picked up her phone.

"Good to know that you finally remembered me."

"Well hello to you too, Mon." I said.

"Seriously Sam, you should have called me once your flight landed. To let me know you and Luce got there safe at least."

"I'm sorry. It's just so much has been going on."

"Is Melanie okay? It's not bad is it?" Monica asked. I told her the whole story. Everything that's happened from the moment we landed up until I called her. "So he wanted you to come back?"

"Yeah."

"Well it's obvious he wants to get back together."

"Mon… did you miss the part where he's engaged to Carly?"

"Compromises. Even stated by her own brother."

"Oh don't tell me you're agreeing with them." Is everyone against me? Doesn't anyone see that Carly needs Freddie?

"Jeeze Sam… you're so damn blind. He still loves you and wants you back. That's why he lured you back to Seattle."

"He doesn't love me." I said angrily. "He can't love me." I whispered.

"He does and he can. Sam, you have to forgive yourself for what happened that day. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't control it. What happened, happened. Forgive yourself for it."

"Just… please Mon… just get me back home. And don't you dare say I'm already home. Everyone has been saying that since yesterday. Just get me and Lucy tickets back to New York. Please?"

"You know I can't say no to you. I will see what I can do and call you back."

"Okay. Love ya."

"Love ya too. Bye Sam. And give Luce a big hug and kiss from her aunt Mon."

After I hung up the phone I went down to check on Lucy who was sitting on the couch watching Girly Cow. Boy did I love that show growing up. I went over to sit next to Lucy and she just turned off the TV and walked into the kitchen where Melanie was.

"Come on Luce. You're not going to give me the silent treatment are you?" I said walking to her. She turned her face away from me. "Oh come on Lucy." Still nothing. "Your aunt Mon sends her love and told me to give you a hug and kiss from her."

Lucy opened her mouth to speak, "Auntie Mel, can you please tell Mom to tell auntie Mon that I have received her hug and kiss and I send my love back?" With that she walked upstairs back to Melanie's room. Melanie started cracking up.

"That's one tough kid you got there."

"Tell me about it. Well I'm going to take a shower. Hopefully Monica calls back soon with our flight information."

I went to take a shower in Melanie's bathroom which looked almost identical to Freddie's except everything was on the opposite side and Freddie had his-and-hers sink and a bigger standing shower. As I took a shower, I began to remember all the times Freddie and I would shower together. He called it "dirty fun while getting clean." That boy was such a nub but he was always so great to me and he always put me before him no matter what the case was. _'Okay, stop it.'_ I thought. _'Stop thinking about him.'_

I turned on the cold water and stood in the shower letting the water wash away all my stress and tension. I knew soon I would be back across the country and I wouldn't have to worry about anything other than Lucy, school and work. No more excessive drama.

After about an hour long shower I get dressed and go back out and find Melanie on the bed with my phone in her hands. She looks up and says, "Monica called."

"Oh great. Okay, let me just comb my hair before it becomes a tangly mess and I will call her back." Mel doesn't answer. I'd think that right now she'd be probably begging me to stay or something along those lines but not a word. "Mel? You okay?"

Melanie looks like she's in a daze. "She said for you to call her back."

"Yeah… I just said that I would after combing my hair. Is everything okay?" Again nothing. "Melanie? Melanie Puckett? You in there?" I said walking over to her and knocking softly on her head.

Melanie looks up at me and whispers, "Why can't Freddie love you again?" Shocked by her question, I begin to take a few steps back but she grabs my hand and asks again, "Why can he not love you anymore? Tell me, Sam?"

"He just can't." I manage to get out, holding back my tears.

"WHY CAN'T HE? And don't give me that fucking bullshit that it's because he's engaged to Carly. That's not the reason you don't think he can love you. You and I both know that, so tell me Samatha… why can Freddie not love you!" Mel says through her teeth, trying her hardest not to scream and scare Lucy who was downstairs watching TV.

"He can't, okay Mel? He just can't!"

"SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO SAY 'HE JUST CAN'T' AND NOT TELL ANY OF US ABOUT GRACIE?" Melanie said in the angriest tone I have ever heard her speak.

I closed my eyes and my head flashed back to that day.

**I walked out of my office and saw Rob, one of my colleagues at the paper, coming out of his office. "Happy Monday, Sam." He said with a huge smile. "Hello there little baby." Rob says rubbing my belly. You would think having everyone constantly rub or pat my belly would annoy the shit out of me but it didn't. I actually liked it because it made me feel… I guess it made me feel like I wasn't the only one who loves and cares for this baby. **

**As Rob is rubbing my belly, trying to see if the baby would kick, my boss Mr. Saunders comes out of the elevator. "Hello Sam. Rob." **

"**Good morning Alex." Robert and I say in unison. Mr. Saunders… well Alex, as he preferred we all call him, hated formalities. Alex had been one of the heads of the newspaper for over twenty years now and always made sure that everyone that worked in the paper was happy and treated well. He would always say that this paper was his other family and he not only treated us all like family, but we had become a family, not only to him but to each other. From the moment I started working her six months ago, he treated me like his own. He even calls me the granddaughter he never had. **

"**How's the baby doing?" Alex asked.**

"**Good."**

"**Didn't you just have an appointment last Friday?"**

"**Oh yeah, I forgot to call you and ask you how it went." Rob said. Everyone at the paper was amazing. I originally started working at the paper as a secretary but after the advice columnist for whom I worked left, they promoted me to advise columnist after they saw my work and I've been writing for the paper for two months now. But even when I was only a secretary, everyone was still so nice and caring.**

"**The appointment went fine. The baby is fine. I got a new sonogram but Claire stole it and put it up on the fridge in the break room."**

"**Awesome. I will check that out." Rob said.**

"**So how far along are you?" Alex asked. I knew Alex was as eager for this baby to be born as I was.**

"**About seven months. Twenty-eight weeks to be exact."**

"**Urgh so we have to wait like another twelve weeks for this bundle of joy." Alex said.**

**I laughed. "Yeah. But at least I'm done with school now so that gives me a few months before college starts. I'm just relieved that the baby will be here before I start college." **

"**I know. I'm so proud." Alex said. I smiled. Alex had really taken me under his wing these past few months. He was like the father figure I lacked in my life. **

"**You know it'll be hard. Especially with a baby that's a few months old. College is tough enough." Rob said. **

**Alex could see anxiety grow across my face and he quickly said, "But no worries. We're all here for you."**

"**Now that is true." Rob said. "So did you find out the sex of the baby yet?"**

"**No. Sorry. Monica went with me to the doctor's and we decided we wanted it to be a surprise." **

"**The suspense is killing me!" Rob said.**

"**I know but it will surely be an awesome surprise."**

**Just than Monica came, "Hey ready for lunch?" I nodded. Rob, Monica and I went with a few others to lunch at this place called the 'Bread Factory' where they had the best stir-fry ever. We grabbed our food and looked for a table for six but the downstairs was completely packed. **

"**Maybe there'll be seats upstairs?" I asked.**

"**Yeah, there are but I don't want you going up and down the stairs." Monica said quickly.**

"**Oh come on. Nothing will happen." I said. We all went upstairs and sat and ate. After a little while Sophie came and joined us.**

"**Oh hey Sophie." Monica said. "Shouldn't you be in school?"**

"**Regents week. I don't have any exams so I didn't have to go in." Sophie says while she sits down next to me. I didn't know what regents were until I moved to New York. Thank God, I didn't have to take those statewide exams because most of my schooling was done out of state. Everyone talked and laughed and enjoyed themselves but I was out of it. **

"**What's wrong?" Claire, one of my other coworkers asks.**

**I shake my head and am about to say nothing is wrong when Monica interjects. "Today is Freddie's nineteenth birthday."**

"**It's okay to miss him, you know?" Sophie whispers in my ear. I tell them all to drop it, especially because I didn't want to break down into tears in the middle of a restaurant. I didn't want to think about how he was or where he was. Since I left all I thought about was him and for the past few weeks when I was slowly learning to put my past behind me, BAM! His birthday comes up. **

**I direct the conversation towards the banquet that the paper was having in three weeks and it works. Everyone becomes cooped up in the conversation about how wonderful it was going to be and how they were so excited. Before I knew it our lunch was over and we were getting ready to leave. **

"**Be careful coming down the stairs." Monica says. **

**I roll my eyes, "Seriously Mon, I know how to-" And that's when it happens. I couldn't believe it was happening but it was. **

**In an instant flash I was rolling down the stairs of the restaurant. Louder than my screams were the screams of Monica, Sophie, Claire, Rob and John. I grabbed on to my stomach as I continued to fall. **_**'Please don't let anything happen to my baby.'**_** I thought.**

**My head hit the handrail as I fell from the last step and land on my stomach. My eyes were feeling heavy and I had to fight to try to keep them open. I could see my friends and other people from the restaurant surrounding me. I could barely hear John saying, "Sam? Sam? Are you okay?"**

"**Oh my God, she's bleeding." Rob screamed. I touch my forehead slightly and look at my hand which is quickly covered in blood from the cut on my forehead.**

"**SOMEONE CALL THE DAMN AMBULENCE!" I heard Monica yell. And after that I blacked out. **

**I slowly open my eyes to see Monica, Sophia, Claire and some nurses surrounding me as they rush me into one of the delivery rooms. **_**'Oh God, no!' **_**I think to myself. **_**'It's too early. It's too early for me to have my baby.' **_**I try to get the words to come out of my mouth but I can't seem to manage the strength.**

**I hear the nurse ask whose coming in with me and I hear Monica say that she is and for Sophia and Claire to wait outside. **

"**Mon…" I start to say. "Mon… it hurts."**

"**I know it does sweetie, but don't worry, everything will be okay."**

"**My baby will be okay right?" **

"**Yes of course. Don't worry. The baby will be okay." Monica says. I don't think I believe her. I don't think she believes it either. The nurse asks Monica to put on some hospital gear and soon the doctor comes in. I thank God as I hear a familiar voice, it's Dr. Evans, my OB/GYN. The same gynecologist whom I've been going to ever since I came to New York. The same gynecologist who's been with me through my whole pregnancy and watched my baby grow inside me. Dr. Evans knew everything. She knew me. She knew my story. I felt some relief knowing that it was her and not just any random doctor. **

**I hear the nurse telling Dr. Evans what happened and that I hear the shock in Dr. Evan's voice, especially knowing that I'm still twelve weeks away from my due date. I didn't know my water had broken until the nurse told the doctor. **

"**Well we need to get this baby out of her quickly for the baby to be able to survive." I hear Dr. Evans whisper. I try to breathe.**

**I can barely hear Monica ask, "And Sam… she'll be fine right?"**

"**She should be but her heart rate is extremely low and only continues to fall by the minute." **

"**Whatever you do… save Sam!" Monica nearly screams.**

"**Mon…" I try to say but the Dr. Evans interjects. **

"**Sam's heart rate is too low so we can't give her any medication or an epidural and we need to deliver this baby as fast as we can for both mother and child to be able to survive." Dr. Evans checks to see if I'm dilated and says to the nurse, "She's only seven centimeters dilated so far. Let's give it about ten minutes or so and see if she fully dilates or else we will have to perform a cesarean." **

"**Can we really wait ten minutes?" one of the nurses asks.**

"**It's better for Samantha to have a natural birth than a c-section right now because of how weak she is. It's the mother's life or the child's life right now and I am trying to save both of them but my prime concern is the mother."**

**Monica comes and holds my hand. The pain is excruciating. I feel like someone is ripping out my insides piece by piece. This isn't how I ever imagined this to be. I mean I never knew how painful having children was but this whole scenario… I never could have imagined this in my wildest dreams. **

**I never imagine having my baby twelve weeks premature. I never imagined having a baby at the tender age of eighteen. I always pictured in my head, although I never brought these words to my mouth, that Freddie and I would be married with careers and then expecting a baby on the way… and once I carried our baby to term and went into delivery, he would hold my hand as I cursed him out for ever touching me and threatened to cut off his boy parts so that I never had to feel this pain again. That's how I imagined it but that isn't how it was happening.**

**The doctor comes back in and checks to see if I've fully dilated yet. "Okay…" she begins to say, "It's time Sam, for you to push this baby." **

**I squeeze Monica's hand as she stands next to the doctor. "Push Samantha, push." Dr. Evans says. I push as hard as I can. "Come on, breathe." I take a deep breath and push again. "Follow my breathing Sam, hee hee hoo. Hee hee hoo." I breathe at the pace of the doctor and push as hard as I can. "Okay we're getting there. Keep pushing and breathing."**

"**I can see the head." Monica says in awe. "Come on Sam, you're doing it." I keep pushing, one hard push after the next. I feel like somebody is tearing me to shreds. No, that doesn't even describe this pain. There is no description for this pain. It hurts so bad, I can't help but let the tears roll down my face. I take a deep breath and push again.**

"**We're almost there Sam. One last push and the baby will be out!" Dr. Evans says. I take one final deep breath and push as hard as I can, screaming in agony. "She's out." Dr. Evans says as she cuts the umbilical cord and hands my daughter over to the nurse. **

"**It's a girl." I whisper. Dr. Evans turns to the nurse and Monica and whispers something that I can't hear. I have no clue what's going on and it makes me anxious.**

**Then it hits me. Something isn't right. This doesn't feel right. "She's not crying. She should be crying. Why isn't she crying?" I begin to scream. **

"**I'm sorry Sam…" Dr. Evans begins to say.**

"**WHY ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE SORRY!" I scream. I look over to Monica who has tears in her eyes as she is holding my daughter, who the nurse just wrapped in a pink blanket. "WHY IS MY DAUGHTER NOT CRYING!" Then I feel another pain. It feels a lot worse than when I was pushing, maybe because my body was still weak. I scream out in agony and clutch the bed sheet. **

"**What's going on?" Monica screams. Dr. Evans and the nurses rush to me.**

"**I can't believe it. There's… there's another baby in there." Dr. Evans says. **

"**She was pregnant with twins?" Monica asks shocked. "How did you not know that?" **

"**Sometimes this happens. It's rare but it happens. One baby is hiding behind the other making it impossible to detect that there are twins and their heart beats are synchronized so you can't tell that there are two different heart beats or two separate babies." Dr. Evans says in a rush. "Okay Sam… we have to do this again… I need you to do exactly what you did last time. Okay?" I nod and with after taking a deep breath I push. I continue to push harder and harder. It hurts more than the first time because my body is still weak but I have to do it. I take another deep breath and push. "Okay Sam… I see the head. Keep pushing." I hear Dr. Evans say. I squeeze onto one of the nurse's hands as Monica is still holding my baby and I push as hard as I can. I take another deep breath and with all I have I give a huge push. **

**And than I hear it. I hear what I should have heard the first time. I hear a baby. A baby crying. It was like music to my ears. "Congratulations, Sam… you have a baby girl." I hear Dr. Evans say. I look over to see Monica handing the first baby to the nurse and Dr. Evans handing Monica another pink bundle. One that is kicking and crying. Monica comes next to me and hands me my baby. She's so small with just a little bit of fuzz on her bald head. Her face is so pink and wet and her eyes… her eyes are so blue. They look exactly like mine. I look at her and tears begin to stream down my face and I hand her back to Monica. **

"**Can I… can I hold… her?" I ask Dr. Evans pointing to my first born. **

"**Are you sure you want to?" Dr. Evans asks me. I silently nod and she places my baby in my arms. I look at her, so small, so pale. She looks like a sleeping angel. Only I know she isn't sleeping. But she's with the angels. Dr. Evans comes next to me with the other baby and tells me that she's small and is having a hard time breathing so they need to put her in an incubator. Just for now, and she asks if I want to hold her. I nod and take her into one hand and I hold my two babies in my arms together for the first and last time. **

**I hand over the younger baby to Dr. Evans and ask, "She's going to be okay, right?"**

"**Yes, she will. She's just really small so she needs a little bit help breathing but she will be fine." I nod and she walks away to put the baby in an incubator in the nursery. I hold my first born baby in my hands and start to cry my heart out. Monica sits beside me on the bed and puts her arms around me and she starts to cr too.**

**After a while I hand the baby over to Monica and fall asleep. I'm too tired and too weak to be able to handle the pain. I fall asleep and dream about my first born. She looks like she's a few years old and she has my blond hair, only it's straight and Freddie's brown eyes. "Don't cry mommy. I'm in a better place." She says while letting go of my finger. I try to hold on tighter and scream for her not to go but she wipes away my tears and says, "Be strong, mommy. Be brave. I'll always be watching over you mommy. Take care of my little sister, okay?" And with that she leaves, walking into a bright white light. I wake up startled with tears in my eyes and I look around the room to see Monica, Sophie and a lot of the people from my office, including Claire, Rob, John and Alex. The room is packed with people who have tears in their eyes.**

"**Sam…" Sophie begins to say, "The nurses… they want a name… to put on her birth and death certificate. I know this isn't the time but…" **

"**Gracie." I say.**

"**Huh?" Sophie asks.**

"**Gracie Monica Melanie Benson." I say, looking over to Monica who has a small smile. "That's her name."**

"**And…" Sophia asks.**

"**And…" I say as I walk over to the window in my room that shows the nursery, "My younger daughter is Lucy Carlotta Marissa Benson." I look into the nursery to see Lucy who is hooked up to an incubator. She looks so small and so weak.**

**After a while everyone leaves and Dr. Evans comes in. "I'm sorry Sam." She begins to say, "I wanted to save you and your baby… but I couldn't save Gracie and risk your life. And when I saw that Lucy was still in there, I did everything I could to make sure she was okay. But I'm sorry…"**

**I cut her off, "If it were any other doctor, I probably wouldn't have either one of my daughters. It's not your fault you couldn't save Gracie. You were just trying to save me." I said trying to smile. And at that moment I knew that Dr. Evans was the reason I was still alive and the reason I still had Lucy, if not Lucy and Gracie both. From that moment I knew I wanted to be a doctor just like her… and help save lives.**

I opened my eyes and the tears began to stream down my face. I look up to see Melanie who was standing right in front of me and I fell into her arms and began weeping uncontrollably. Once I could manage to get the words out, I told her everything. "B-b-b-but how did you know?"

"When Monica called, I started to talk to her and we began to discuss why you swore Freddie didn't love you or Freddie couldn't love you. Sam, you're not the reason Gracie isn't alive." Melanie said.

"YES I AM." I hissed. "Yes I am the reason, Melanie. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't even carry her and Lucy to term. I couldn't even do what women are meant to do properly. I failed. I'm the reason Gracie never got to open her eyes. I'm the reason! All me!"

"You can't blame yourself. None of us do and Freddie surely never would."

"You don't know that." I whispered.

"Yes, I do." Melanie said straightening up. "Now let me get you some napkins and a nice cold glass of limeade."

As Mel left, I wiped away my tears and called Monica. "Hey Mon."

"Hey Sam… bad news."

"Oh God… I'm sure this won't make me happy."

"I don't think it will either."

"So lay it on me."

"There are no empty seats to fly into New York today."

I took a deep breath, "Okay, that's bad… but it could be worse. When is the next available flight with two seats?"

"Flights from Seattle to New York are booked for the next week."

"WHAT!" I nearly screamed.

"I could barely find one seat available let alone two and I know you're not coming back alone or sending Luce alone."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! How the hell is this possible? You found me tickets to Seattle the same day I asked you to!"

"I guess flights to Seattle are just often empty. More people are coming to New York from Seattle than they are going to Seattle from New York. I will book you the next available flight I find."

I nod realizing that she can't hear me nodding I say, "Okay."

Still not believing Monica and thinking it was some sort of trap set up by Melanie and Monica together, I called the travel agency only to find that Mon wasn't lying and there were in fact, no two seats available to New York. I lay down on the bed when Melanie enters with a glass of limeade. "Sorry that took so long, I had to make a fresh batch. What's wrong with you?"

I groan, "The next available flight back to New York is in like a week." I look up to see a huge smile come across Melanie's face.

"YES! This is great! I can't wait to tell Lucy!"

Almost instantly she runs downstairs and comes back with an over the top ecstatic Lucy who jumps on top of me and hugs me. "I'm so happy we get to stay!" Lucy squeals.


	13. iMeet My Buddy

**_Author's Note: This is dedicated to my partner in crime, S. Benson! (Especially because she loves Lucy so much!)_**

**_Seddie-shippers MUST READ:  
>iSeddie (by my PIC-BUDDY... S. Benson)<br>_****_Just Have Faith (by justshine09)  
><em>****_iWant Him, Not You' (by Kressxblack) _****_  
><em>**

**_This quick update is because I got a page full of reviews on Chapter 12: iHurt Every Time iRemember! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Now keep reviewing for faster updates! MORE REVIEWS= MORE CHAPTERS!  
><em>**

**_This starts off with Sam's POV but changes. ENJOY! :)_**

**_- Em_**

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><p>iMeet My Buddy<p>

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><p>"So… now that we aren't leaving, what are our plans for the day?" Lucy asked.<p>

"I'm sure your auntie Mel has to go to work…" I begin to say when Melanie cuts me off.

"Quirks of being a restaurant owner, I make my own schedule." Melanie said with a huge smile. "We should all do something. But before we do anything, your mommy here promised your Uncle Spencer and Aunt Veronica that they would get to meet you."

"Aunt Veronica?" Lucy asks. "Who's she?"

"Your Uncle Spencer's wife." Mel tries to explain.

"But mommy… you said Uncle Spencer was going to marry Aunt Sasha."

"Well yes, they did get married… but you see, your Aunt Sasha passed away a few months after the married and your Uncle Spencer just recently remarried a very nice woman. I knew her a long time ago, she's awesome. I'm sure you two will get along."

As Lucy was smiling, Melanie picks up the phone and calls Spencer and Veronica over. After five minutes I hear a knock on the door and begin getting nervous, "Don't worry," Melanie says, "Freddie goes to his office from 11AM to 2PM every Monday to Thursday. The quirks of being a CEO."

I smile, relaxing a bit knowing that today he wasn't going to be at home. But tomorrow was Friday and that was a whole other concern. I took a deep breath and thought to myself, _'We will cross that bridge when we come to it.' _Melanie opens the door and when Spencer and Veronica enter, Lucy gets off the couch and stands up. "Lucy…" I begin to say, "This is your Uncle Spencer and Aunt Veronica."

"You look different than in your pictures." Lucy says as she hugs Spencer. "But than again, those were taken at least six years ago." Then when she hugs Veronica she says, "I've never seen any pictures of you before but you're really pretty.'

The next hour was spent in Melanie's living room as Spencer and Veronica got to know Lucy. And when Lucy went to the bathroom, I told Spencer and Veronica about Gracie. They both had tears in their eyes and I knew that Spencer especially was upset as he could relate. As soon as Lucy came back, everything went back to normal. Then after the five of us sat and had lunch together. "So mommy… do we get to go out and explore Seattle today?" Lucy asked.

I looked up from my plate at Lucy who was so eager to go out. "I don't know Luce. I rather stay inside and watch the Harry Potter movies while pigging out."

"But we can do that any day! Please mommy?"

"Sorry Luce, but I really don't want to go outside."

Lucy stood up and excused herself from the table and stomped away. Spencer couldn't help but laugh, "That definitely is your kid."

"That's exactly what I said." Melanie says laughing. I glare at the two of them as if I'm about to burn a hole in their heads.

Spencer straightens up and says, "Why won't you just take the poor kid out? She doesn't want to be stuck indoors all day."

"Well I don't want to risk people finding out that I'm back."

Spencer sighs. "Well why can't one of us just take her?"

"Still kind of risky."

"Oh come on, Sam… you're going to be here for the next week. You will need to go out. Lucy will need to go out. You can't just stay in here." Veronica said sweetly.

I took a deep breath, "Maybe you guys are right. But I really do just want to stay in and watch Harry Potter today. I feel like just having a lazy, pigging out on food kind of day."

"Don't you have those almost everyday?" Melanie snickered. I glared at her and threw my napkin at her.

"Seriously. I just want to lay low and relax. My classes ended like two weeks ago but I still didn't get any time to relax cause of work and deadlines and stuff. And what's a better relaxation method than watching Harry Potter?"

"Well that's true. Harry Potter totally rocks!" Spencer said. I smiled happily knowing that I wasn't the only one who still loved Harry Potter after all these years. "I'm going to join you."

"That'd be awesome, Spence."

"Okay, okay… how about you, Spencer and Melanie stay here and have your HP marathon while I take Luce out for a little while. Just show her around, maybe take her to the park." Veronica said. I looked at her with nervousness in my eyes. "Don't worry, if anyone asks, she's just one of Spencer's friends' kid."

I had to honest, that did sound pretty appealing. I would get the day to relax and lay low while Lucy got to go outside and explore and have fun. "You sure you want to?" I asked Veronica.

"I would love to!" Veronica said.

"Okay." We cleared the dining table and I soon went up to Melanie's room where Lucy was laying down, hugging her teddy bear, Mr. Snuggles Benson as she had named him when she was two. "Sweetie?" I said, lying down next to her. No reply. "I have some good news." I turned her head towards me, "Your Auntie Veronica says she wants to take you exploring for the day."

Her eyes widened with excitement. "REALLY!" She squealed. I nodded. "YAY! This will be so fun!" She says as she gets up and hugs me.

"But one thing."

Lucy groans. _'I swear this girl.' _I thought in my head.

"The only catch is that you don't tell anyone who you are. If anyone asks, your Aunt Veronica will say you're just a friend's kid."

"How come, mommy?"

"When it comes time, I want to be the one to tell people who you are."

I knew Lucy understood what I meant and she let out a slight, "Okay." Then she ran downstairs and jumped into Veronica's arms.

"Excited, are we?" Veronica asks. Lucy nodded her head with a huge smile. After a while I helped Lucy get ready and took her downstairs to Spencer's place. Veronica showed her around the apartment then the two were ready to go.

"Remember what I said, Luce." I reminded her.

"No sweat. I got you mommy." Lucy said. I watched as the two left and then went with Spencer and Melanie back to her apartment and plopped in the first Harry Potter movie, turned off the lights and we got comfortable.

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><p><em>Lucy's POV<em>

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><p>"Soo… where are we going?" I ask Auntie Veronica as she helps me put my seatbelt on.<p>

"I'm thinking we go to the park?"

"Oooh that sounds fun."

"I'm sure you'll like it. They have really big slides and monkey bars and there's even a duck feeding area near by. Although there aren't always ducks there, but the view of the water is great. Plus there are always tons of kids to play with. One of my friends is actually taking her two daughters down there so you will get to meet them."

"Sounds great."

Auntie Vee and I talk and listen to music while she drives us down to the park. I'm really excited. This is the first time I've been in Seattle or got to see any of Seattle. When we got here last night it was dark, all I was able to see were the lights and don't get me wrong, the lights are nice and all but come on, I grew up in New York City. You should see the night lights there. It's so pretty. But I'm glad to be home. I mean this is my home after all. My mommy was raised here and so was my daddy. That reminds me, "Hey Auntie Vee?" I ask.

I see her looking at me through the rearview mirror, "Yes, sweetheart?"

"Did mommy or daddy ever come to this park?"

"I'm not sure. I didn't know them when they were dating, but they probably did. It's one of the prettiest places in Seattle."

"So when did you know my mommy and daddy?"

"Before they started dating. I was dating your uncle Spencer at the time, it was a short lived relationship, but I got to know Sam and Fre-" She stopped herself.

"You can say daddy's name, you know. It's not like Voldemort. Plus my mommy tells me about him all the time."

"Ahh… another Harry Potter lover in the family, I see."

I couldn't help but giggle at that comment. "My mom always loved Harry Potter. Especially the Ron-Hermione relationship. She always said that it reminded her of her relationship with my daddy. The whole, I love you but I can't stand you thing. And growing up I got into it too. She would read me the books, we would watch the movies. It is so cool. I love it. And the thought of magic being real intrigued my mom a lot. She used to joke that if she had magic, wedgies would have been so much easier to give when she was in high school."

Auntie Vee is trying to muffle in her laughter but soon the snickers come out. "Classic Sam."

"Of course." I giggle.

Soon Auntie Vee pulls into the parking lot and helps me out of the car. I look around and the playground is huge. Like really huge. And you can see the water from a distance.

"Oh there you are." I hear Auntie Vee say. I turn and see her hugging a tall red headed woman. Besides her are two girls, one around my age and another that looks like she's a little older. "This is one of Spencer's long time friend's daughter, Lucy. Lucy this is Kate Whitestone and her two daughters Maggie and Jane." Auntie Vee says.

"Hello." I say as I shake hands with everyone.

Auntie Vee and her friend are standing there talking while the two girls and I talk. "Hi, I'm Maggie." The blonde older girl says.

"And I'm Jane."

"I'm Lucy. How old are you?"

"I'm ten and a half." Maggie says.

"I'm six. How about you?"

"I just turned five in February."

"Mom, mom…" Jane says, "Can we take Lucy and go play?"

"Yes, of course. Don't go too far. We will be sitting over there." She says pointing at one of the benches under the cherry trees.

I tug on Auntie Vee's shirt. "Can I go?" She smiles and nods.

Maggie and Jane grab my hand and we run to the swings. We play on the swings and the monkey bars. When we are the sand box I notice the waters again. It's so pretty. "Hey, I will be right back." I say to Maggie and Jane who are busy making a sand castle.

"Okay." Jane says.

"Don't be long; we will need your help." Maggie says.

"No worries, back in a jiffy." I say before walking out of the playground and towards the waters.

'_This place looks so familiar.' _I think to myself. _'It's like I've been here before. Or at least seen this place before.' _I look around to see a meadow that falls between the playground and the waters. The meadow is filled with really pretty flowers that had a lot of petals. It's like a Then I remember.

I remember mommy taking out a pretty little box with all these dried flowers inside and a picture of her and daddy. And they were here. I remember her saying, "You will find the most unique flowers here. Flowers that you rarely find at flower shops and gardens. But they grow naturally. Your daddy, being the cheese-ball he was, would always pick me a flower and rip off one petal to keep for his own. He used to do that because he said we completed each other. We came here after our first date and would come here at least once a week. It's funny because seeing ducks at those waters were a rare occasion. Actually any of the times I went before I started dating your daddy, I never saw the ducks but then every time we came together, we would see the ducks. This picture was taken on our first date." The picture was of them sitting on one of the benches that had a heart with _S&F_ craved into it with mommy holding a flower and daddy trying to rip off one petal.

The place is empty and there are only three benches that face the waters and they are kind of far apart from each other. I look at the first bench which is way at the right end of the waters and no engraving. I start making my way to the bench in the middle when I see a man in a suit walking to that bench. He sits down and just stares at the water. He looks sad. Mommy always taught me that putting a smile on someone's face and making them laugh is the best gift that you can ever give them. Normally I wouldn't dare talk to a stranger alone in a new city but there was something about this man that made me want to make him smile. I rip one of the pretty flowers and start walking towards him.

I stand by the bench, holding the flower but he still doesn't notice me. "Hi." I say to get this attention, "This is for you." I say handing him the flower. He takes his eyes off the pretty waters and I am able to finally clearly see his face. His eyes widen as he looks at me.

He looks… he looks just like my daddy. _'Oh seriously Lucy Carlotta Marissa Benson,' _I think to myself, _'You seriously are loosing it.' _I snap out of it and look at him again. He has dark drown hair and the brownest, chocolaty colored eyes. And his face… it resembles daddy's face. He does look like my dad… or at least how my dad looked before I was born. I take a deep breath, _'I must be imagining it. I'm just so eager to meet my daddy that I'm trying to find him in every male grown up I see. I mean when I first met Spencer I thought he kind of looked like my daddy because of the brown hair and brown eyes. Oh I wish mommy would just let me meet my daddy.' I thought. _

"Oh thank you."

"You're welcome." I say. "May I sit?"

"Please." He says before she moves over to the left side of the bench.

"Thank you." I say as I sit down. I notice the _S&F _engraving in the middle of the bench on the backrest. _'This is it.' _I think, _'This is where they used to sit and feed the ducks.' _I gently glide my hand over the engraving. I see the man looking at me before he looks back at the waters which is starting to sparkle now under the sun.

"It's pretty isn't it?" He asks still staring at the waters.

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><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

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><p>'<em>Everything fucking sucks.' <em>I think to myself as I shuffle down the meadow to the duck feeding area. I haven't seen ducks here in almost six years now. The last time I saw ducks here was when I was with Sam. Since than whenever I would come, no ducks. I sit down on the middle bench, the same bench where Sam and I would come weekly to feed the ducks. I run my hand over the engraving we made on our first date. A huge heart with _S&F _on the middle of the backrest of the bench. I turn to face the waters, which looks so nice under the sun. It's such a beautiful day but I just can't seem to enjoy it.

I stare hard at the waters, as if my staring will bring the ducks back. It seemed like nothing would bring the ducks back. I keep watching the waters when I hear a small, "Hi. This is for you."

I turn my face to my right and my eyes widen as I see a really pretty little girl. She looks just like Sam. Her eyes… the same deep blue as Sam's. Her hair, curly just like Sam's despite the fact that it is a dark brown instead of blond. She looks like a mini-Sam, sort of. _'Knock out of it Benson. You are so desperate for Sam to come back that you find resemblance of her in a child? Dude, you've lost it.' _I think to myself.

She hands me one of the flowers from the meadows, the flower with numerous petals that I would rip for Sam every time we came here. "Oh… thank you." I say as I take the flower.

"You're welcome." The little girl says, I shift my attention back at the waters when I hear her say, "May I sit?"

"Please." I say as I move to the other side of the bench, still not taking my eyes off of the water.

"Thank you." I hear from the small girl. From the corner of my eye I see her looking at the engraving that Sam and I had made all those years ago. She slowly glides her hand over the engraving like I had done a little while ago.

I look at her than turn back to the water as I say, "Pretty isn't it?"

From the corner of my eyes I see her looking at me, "You mean the engraving?" she asks, and I nod. "Yes, the engraving is so pretty. It looks like clarig-calig-clali-"

"Calligraphy?" I ask raising my eyebrow while looking at her.

"Yeah. That." She says with a smile. "I never knew two letters and one and-sign inside a heart could look like such a pretty piece of artwork."

I smile at the praise of my work, although this little girl doesn't know it's my work that she's praising. "Yeah. I know."

"It probably took a lot of time to do." She says gliding her hand over the engraving again. I smile remembering how I had Sam blindfolded when I was doing the engraving and how long it took to do it especially with Sam nagging at me every two minutes about what I was doing and why it was taking forever. And once I was done she had such a huge smile on her face.

"Soo…" the little girl says, "Why are you sad?" I look at her with a shocked expression.

"Sad? What makes you think I'm sad?"

"I wasn't born yesterday." She says, I can't help but smirk at that comment. "I know I may be little but I can tell when someone is sad. Do you want to talk about it?"

I tried not to laugh. The situation was just so funny though. I was upset and here was a little girl who I never met in my life trying to console me. I held back my laughter and said, "No thank you."

"Why not? Is it because you don't know me?"

I smirked again, "Kind of… plus you're a kid, you wouldn't understand."

She looked kind of mad that I had just said that. "You know what my mommy says?" She asks me, I shrug my shoulders. "My mommy says that kids understand more than most adults."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. It's because unlike adults, we are able to see clearly. Adults just over think and overanalyze everything. That's why they don't understand. But us kids, we just see things for what they are. And by the way, I'm Lucy, I'm five. Now you know me, now we can talk about why you're sad."

I smiled at her reasoning. This kid was… well she was something else, not to mention pushy. I put out my hand and began to say, "Well nice to meet you Lucy, I'm twenty-four and my name is F-"

"Buddy." She said shaking my hand.

"Hmm?" I questioned.

"I will call you 'Buddy,' you know, like friend? Because you're older than me I can't refer to you by your name because that's disrespectful but I want to be your friend, so that's what I will call you. As long as you don't mind."

"Oh." I say smiling. "I don't mind. Can I call you Buddy too?"

"Of course! You're my 'Buddy' and I'm your 'Buddy.' So now that we're buddies, why don't you tell me what's making you sad?"

"You won't understand, Buddy."

She jumped off the bench and stood in front of me, "I just said I would. Come on Buddy." She looked at me and said, "Oh I get it, problems in the romance department, eh?"

I frown, "How did you know?"

"My aunt used to do this same thing. Whenever she had problems in her love life or was sad about it, she would tell me that I can't understand. Every other problem she would talk to me about but not this. But than I wore her down." Buddy giggles, "She now tells me about her love life issues too. I can help, believe me."

"Oh really?" I ask, raising my eye brows again.

She sits down on the bench again and says "Try me."


	14. iLove Love Stories

**_Author's Note: Thank you everyone that kept reading and reviewing!  
>By the way... I just wanted to clear up that this story started off in past-tense because Sam was telling the story up to the point where Lucy left with Veronica, but than it came to the present where now you see different point of views. I just wanted to clear that up in case anyone was curious. I did do it intentionally.<br>_**

**_NOW EVERYONE PLEASE REVIEW! FASTER REVIEWS = FASTER UPDATES!_**

**_- Em_**

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><p>iLove Love Stories<p>

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><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This little girl reminded me so much of Sam: she was an eager beaver just like Sam… she wouldn't stop pushing me until I talked about my problems, the way Sam used to… and all she wanted to do was try to help me feel better, just like Sam. I open my eyes again to see her adorable little porcelain face looking at me. Her eyes were just so blue. The only time I've seen such beautiful deep blue eyes were on Sam. I know Melanie is Sam's twin sister but her eyes don't sparkle the way Sam's used to. But this little girl… looking into her eyes reminds me of looking into Sam's eyes. For a slight moment, I thought it was Sam in front of me. Little five year old Samantha Puckett. Only I highly doubt little Samantha was this polite and respectful. I imagine five year old Sam as a vicious little girl, biting ankles and using her sad puppy face to get whatever she wants… especially when it comes down to food. I imagine if Sam has a daughter, she will probably be just as bad as Sam… if not worse. Throwing temper tantrums and attacking people… but she'd be a beauty. Just like this little girl.<p>

Soon I start to hear an 'ahem ahem' noise coming from a very irritated and impatient Buddy. Impatient… just like Sam. I shake my head, trying to get these thoughts of Sam out of my head. But I can't. She left. She left years ago and she's never coming back. I loved her… no I love her, but she… she just left with no goodbye. And not only did she leave without any warning or any goodbye… but she also didn't keep in contact with any of us. Except for Melanie, which I can't figure out because she always said she hated Miss. Sunshine Daisy perfect Melanie. Maybe it has to do with the fact that they are sisters and no matter what, Sam does understand and respect the value of family. "Soo…?" I hear Buddy asking.

"So?"

"Are you going to tell me why you're so sad?"

I take another deep breath and I start talking. "You see there's this girl…" I look at Buddy who listening very attentively. "There's this girl I was dating a couple years back. And I loved her more than anything. I mean I still love her more than anything. We had this weird relationship you see, like a love-hate, I can't stand you but I can't stand to be without you type of relationship."

"Like Ron and Hermione." Buddy says. _'And she's a Harry Potter fan… just like Sam.' _I think in my head.

"Yeah. Just like Ron and Hermione. You're a Harry Potter fan?"

"Heck yes! But that's besides the point, back to your problem."

"Well okay, let's use the Harry-Hermione-Ron friendship as an example to explain what's going on."

"Okie dokie." She says perkily.

"So Hermione has two guy best friends, right?"

Buddy nods her head. "Ron and Harry."

"So I have… well had… two girl best friends."

"So you're in Hermione's place."

"Yes. So well let's go with that. Now Hermione and Ron are meant to be together and they really love each other but than all of a sudden Ron leaves than Ginny disappears out of Harry's life making Harry go into a depression and the only way Hermione feels she can help Harry is by marrying him. But she really doesn't want to. Hermione loves Ron and only Ron and only sees Harry as her best friend."

"Want to know what I think?" Buddy asks as she stands up on the bench. I nod. "You were- no- you are in love with one of your best friends but she left and now your other best friend lost the person she loves too, right?" I nod again. "Well that doesn't mean you have to marry your other best friend. Hermione would never be happy with Harry as Harry would never be happy with Hermione. You're not helping anyone by marrying your best friend because you don't want her to be depressed! Marriage is about love. Only people in love should get married. Not just because they are best friends and trying to help each other out. You won't be happy with this girl and she won't be happy with you unless you guys do fall in love with each other."

I can't help but smile as she sits back down. "How'd you get so smart about relationships and love?"

"My mom is an advice columnist. Usually a lot of the questions she gets are about love. And she knows a lot about love. Plus, my aunt always has some sort of romance drama going on in her life." Buddy says as she giggles. Her giggles are so soft and sweet. She just melts my heart. If I ever have a kid, which I doubt will ever happen, than I would want my kid to be just like this little angel. "So can I ask you a question?"

I look at her and smile, "Of course you can Buddy."

"Why did… well, why did Ron… leave Hermione?"

I mouth hangs open. Why did Sam leave? Why? I've been asking myself the same question for almost six years now.

Buddy shifts uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked about…"

"My girl who got away?"

"Yeah." Buddy says softly.

"Well… she's just… she's gone. And she's never coming back." I said trying not to cry in front of a five year old that I just met.

* * *

><p><em>Lucy's POV<em>

* * *

><p>'<em>Poor Buddy. She's gone and never coming back. OH MY GOD! She died! I shouldn't have asked. Oh man. Maybe mom's right and I should keep my mouth shut. Oh man what do I say now? He looks like he's trying not to cry. Stupid Lucy! I should have my mouth stapled. I came to make him laugh and instead he's about to cry.' <em>I think in my head. I look at Buddy who is just staring at the water again.

"Everything happens for a reason Buddy." I say.

He looks at me for a second before looking back at the water. "I guess you're right."

"NO! I know I'm right! This isn't Harry Potter where Ron ends up with Hermione and Harry ends up with Ginny! This isn't some love story where high school sweethearts end up together and have their happily ever after. This isn't one of those Walt Disney movies, which by the way make children have an unattainable perception on love from a young age. No this isn't any of those. This is real life, and everything in real life happens for a reason and some things are just out of our hands. It's like a game of poker. We can't pick and choose the cards we want. We can only play with the cards we are dealt. So make smart moves with the hand you were dealt. Don't just throw in the cards and accept defeat. Play the game. It isn't how you expected but it can be fun none the less."

Buddy turns towards me with huge eyes. "Wow. You really are good at this whole advice giving thing."

"I get it from my mother." I say proudly. It's true. These are some of the qualities I get from my mommy. I mean I know my mommy isn't perfect, she says that all the time. She has faults and she makes mistakes but she learns from them and that's what she always taught me. Make mistakes, learn from them. Mommy does a lot of things I don't understand, like keep me from daddy all these years, but I know whatever she's doing is because she wants what's best for me and our family. But at the end of the day, no matter what, my mommy had taught me a lot and made me into who I am.

"Your mom must be one smart woman."

"Oh I know." I smile again. Buddy sighs.

"You know, she and I used to come here all the time. Whenever we were here, there would always be ducks. But I don't see ducks here anymore. Since she left, I haven't stopped coming here with food for the ducks. Maybe it's because I hope that one day the ducks will come back and I will turn around and see that she's back too." Buddy closes his eyes. How romantic. But dead people can't come back. Even I know that. But I'll keep my mouth shut. I close my eyes and imagine what this place would look like if the ducks had come back. I hear Buddy talking again, "You know we would always sit on this bench. And that carving-"

Just than I hear something. Something else and I open my eyes. "Oh my God!" I say cutting Buddy off. He has his eyes still closed so I tug on the arm of his shirt. He opens his eyes and his eyes look like they're about to fall out of his head.

Quack. Quack. Quack.

We see three ducks on the water and after a while a few more ducks come. Buddy opens his suitcase and takes out a brown paper bag. "What's in the bag?" I ask.

"Food for them."

"Oh."

"Here." Buddy hands me a piece of bread. "Break it into little pieces and throw them at the ducks. You can throw them close to you and they'll come near you to get them." Buddy rips the bread into pieces and throws the bread to the ducks. There are about seven ducks in the water. Three ducklings and four grown ducks. I throw a piece not too far from our bench and one of the ducklings comes to get it.

Soon we run out of bread for the ducks. "I hope they each got enough." I say to Buddy.

"I hope so too. I can't believe after all these years I saw ducks here again." Buddy says looking at the ducks that are still in the water near us. "I wish she came back too."

"I know. But seeing the ducks must mean something really good is going to happen soon. Just watch me be right. Than you'll be like 'O.M.G MY BUDDY WAS SOOO RIGHT!' Just watch." I say and Buddy starts laughing. Mission accomplished.

"I never say 'O.M.G.' by the way." Buddy says between laughter.

"Oh but you will." I say giggling. "But just watch, something good will happen soon. I'm sure of it. Than you'll think of me."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm sure I am. I'm hardly ever wrong. Well except for that once… and the other time… and the other time… well I'm human so I'm not ALWAYS right but I'm sure I'm right about this." I say, Buddy smiles at me. His smile reminds me of my daddy's smile. So warm and sweet. I hope my daddy and I get along as much as Buddy and I get along. That would be nice. "Oh wait… so what were you saying before I interrupted you because of the ducks?"

"Oh yeah… uhmm…"

"You forgot, didn't you?" I smile.

"Yeah... too much duck excitement." Buddy says. "Oh wait no! Now I remember. I was saying that this carving is actually…"

"LUCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Someone yells in the background.


	15. iWalk Away

**_Author's Note: Okay guys... so first I want to welcome my new readers! _**

**_Also, I want to give my warmest thank you to S. Benson (my PIC-BUDDY) and Kressxblack for mentioning me in their author's notes.  
><em>_They both have brought me new readers and two people have stated that Kressxblack's author's note is what brought them to my story.  
>So I really want to sincerely thank Kressxblack and this chapter is dedicated to her!<br>(Thanks sweetie, your bribe in chapter 4 really worked! This is for you!)  
><em>**

**_[Be sure to check out: _My New Roommate_ by Kressxblack and_ iSeddie_ by S. Benson]_**

**_THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE REVIEWS! I have never gotten as many reviews as I have in the last 24 hours so I updated as soon as humanly possible for me! I hope you guys enjoy!_**

**remember: _MORE REVIEWS = FASTER UPDATES!  
>Keep reviewing because the story is just about to really get good.<em>**

**_- Em_**

* * *

><p>iWalk Away<p>

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>"That's my name!" Buddy says looking around.<p>

"And it's a very pretty name too."

Buddy's eyes brighten up as she smiles. "Thank you! I love my name. My mommy chose it because it means 'light' and she says that my daddy is the love of her life and I'm the light of her life."

"Aww. How sweet. Well I can see why you're the light of your mommy's life. You can light up anyone's life." It's true. This little girl could light up a room with just her presence. She was by far the cutest little girl I have ever seen.

"LUCYYYYYYYYYYY!" We hear again. We turn back to see a little red headed girl on the other side of the meadow looking around frantically.

"Your sister?"

"No. I only have one sister, Gracie. We're twins but she's twenty minutes older. She died when she was born." Buddy says as sadness appears on her face, the first time this whole afternoon. She grabs onto the heart shaped locket around her neck, that has a cursive _L _in the center and what I'm guessing as diamonds that form three heart shapes around the _L._ Buddy pulls the locket up so she can kiss it. "Gracie passed away even before I came into this world. But I still love her." She says smiling. Wow. This kid. Just pure amazing. No other words could describe her.

"Oh I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Mommy says Gracie is in a better place and always watching over us."

I had to smile at that. "And that… that's a really pretty locket."

"Oh thank you. It's three of a kind." I raise my eyebrow. Three of a kind? I never heard that before. Buddy must be able to read the confused look on my face as she says, "Three of a kind as in my Grandpa Alex, he's my mommy's boss but we're all like family, he had three of these unique lockets made right after he found out Gracie died so mommy, Gracie and I each could have one always around our neck. Gracie was buried with her locket. No one else has a locket like this." She says and turns over the locket to show me the back which has _SGL _inscribed in cursive with more diamonds around the letters. "L for me, Lucy. G for my sister, Gracie. S for my mommy, S-"

Than we hear again. "LUCYYYYYY!"

"I really should go. You know before her head explodes from screaming so loud." She giggles. "It was really nice meeting you Buddy. Best of luck with everything. But trust me when I say, everything will work out okay. I just know it will." She says smiling. She puts out her hand and I shake it.

"It was really nice meeting you Buddy. Have a good life." I say.

Buddy turns and starts walking away. Than she stops for a second and turns back, "Thanks for being one of those nice strangers that become your friends and not one of those creepers that try to kidnap you." She says giggling and than skipping through the meadow.

I can't help but laugh at what she just said. That kid… she's something. Something else. I never thought that a five year old would be the one to talk sense into me. I just stare at the water again where the ducks are starting to leave. I can't believe they came back after all these years… but Sam, she still wasn't back. I guess she's never coming back.

* * *

><p><em>Lucy's POV<em>

* * *

><p>I skip through the meadow of pretty flowers and stand behind Jane who is looking around searching for me. "Boo!" I whisper in her ear.<p>

"AHHHHH!" Jane screams. Than she calms down, "Where did you go?"

"Oh just over there by the meadow." I say pointing towards the meadow. I look to see that the bench I was on just a little while ago is now empty. Buddy must have left.

"Oh. Okay. Mommy and Mrs. Shay are going to buy us ice cream and hot dogs so Maggie told me to rush over and find you."

Yum. Ice cream and hot dogs. Two of my favorites. "Okay let's go." I say and we run back to where Auntie Vee and Mrs. Whitestone are. Auntie Vee buys me a hot dog with ketchup and mustard and a chocolate vanilla swirl ice cream cone dipped in sprinkles. Yum.

Soon after we eat, Auntie Vee says we should be getting home soon. I'm kind of tired too so I just agree. Plus Auntie Vee looks tired too. I think it's because she has a baby inside her. Mommy says that before babies are born, they are so small and weak that they need to live inside mommies' bellies for nine months before they can be born. But I came a few months too early. I think that's why Gracie passed away. We were born too early and she was just too weak. Maybe it's because I was in mommy's belly those extra twenty minutes so unlike Gracie I was able to survive? But I don't talk to mommy about Gracie unless she brings it up. I mean I want to talk about my sister but it hurts mommy. She always gets so sad and starts to cry whenever she talks about Gracie.

I grab the heart shaped white gold locket around my neck. I've had it since I was born. It opens and there are three pictures inside, one of me when I was born, one of Gracie when she was born, and one of mommy and daddy together when they were dating. Gracie and mommy each have a locket like this too. Grandpa Alex had three made for us the day I was born. He wanted Gracie to be wearing it when she was buried so he rushed to his jeweler after he visited us in the hospital. He was worried the lockets wouldn't be made in time for Gracie's funeral and burial which was three days after we were born but luckily the lockets were made just in time and I've never took it off since. It's so pretty. It diamonds forming a big heart and smaller diamonds making two smaller hearts inside the big heart and inside was _L_. On the back there is only one heart shape formed by more diamonds and inside it has _SGL_.Mommy's locket has a big _S _on the front of hers surrounded by the hearts and in the pictures I have of Gracie, her locket has a big _G_ surrounded by the hearts. I start to doze off in the car while holding on to my locket.

After a few minutes Auntie Vee pulls up into the parking lot and opens my door. "Come on sweetie, we're home." She says as she picks me up and carries me. I would walk but I'm still just too tired.

Auntie Vee carries me into the lobby where I heard an annoying shrill voice screaming about I don't even know what. That must be that Lewby… Lewbert… man that mommy told me about. He's mean and annoying. Boo him.

I hear the ding and the elevator opens to the hallway. Woah, I didn't know there were multiple elevators. I guess there's one that goes to every apartment and one in the main hallway too. This building is awesome!

I hear Auntie Vee knock on the door and Auntie Mel opens the door. "Oh why hello there." Auntie Mel says taking me from Auntie Vee's arms into her own and closing the door. "Why didn't you take the elevator that comes into the apartment." Auntie Mel whispers.

"It was taking too long." Auntie Vee whispers.

I wonder who they're trying to whisper this from because I can certainly hear them. Auntie Mel lays me down on the couch and both Auntie Mel and Auntie Vee sit down. I hear mommy coming down the stairs but I'm just too sleepy and tired.

"Oh there's my angel." I hear mommy say. I sit up and hug mommy. "How was your day?"

"Exciting. Fun. Tiring."

"Make any nice friends?"

"Yup. Jane, Maggie and Buddy." I say. Than I automatically shut my mouth. Mommy might get mad if I tell her I made friends with a stranger. But how else am I supposed to make friends? I'm just not going to say anything now because I want to enjoy the time we're here and not be stuck inside because I talked to a stranger. Mommy is really overprotective sometimes. Just like Auntie Mon. And Grandpa Alex. And uncle Rob. And the list goes on.

"Jane and Maggie are my friend Kate's two daughters." Auntie Vee says.

"Who is Buddy?" Mommy asks. Auntie Vee shrugs her shoulders.

"Just another friend from the park." I say laying back down on the couch.

"Oh." Mommy says.

"I'm tired. Lucy no more talkie." I say.

"You're too tired for dinner?" Mommy asks.

My head automatically goes up when I hear the word _dinner_. "Dinner? Oh I'm never too tired for dinner. What are we having?"

"Chicken cutlet with cheese and mashed potatoes with turkey bacon bits."

"OH YUM! I can't wait. Let me wash up!" I jump up to go to the bathroom as I hear Auntie Vee talking.

"I just feed her a hot dog, a pretzel and ice cream. Yet she still has space for dinner in that small stomach of hers?"

"She's definitely Sam's kid." Uncle Spencer says from the kitchen. I smile as I run into the bathroom to wash up. Yup, I'm definitely my mommy's daughter.

* * *

><p><em>Sam's POV<em>

* * *

><p>Tonight was great. Melanie, Spencer and I watched the first three Harry Potter movies and we just hung out and pigged out. It feels so nice to be back home again. Back with the people I love the most… well except for the lack of Carly and… no. I won't think about him.<p>

Lucy, on the other hand, has been acting kind of weird since she came back from the park. She wouldn't tell me what she did. She only talked a little about Jane and Maggie but didn't speak a word of this Buddy kid, even when I asked. I don't know what's going on but I don't think I like it. I tuck Lucy into bed, "Let me see your teeth."

Lucy opens her mouth, "Aaaaaah. See all clean." Lucy says. "I brushed properly."

"And did you-"

"Yes I used mouth wash too." Lucy cuts me off.

"Okay sweetie. Good night." I say as I kiss her forehead and tuck her in. I lie down next to her and watch her fall fast asleep. My little baby has grown up so quickly. I watch her sleep for a few minutes before I fall asleep myself.

"GOOOOD MORNINGGG SLEEPY HEADS!" I hear Melanie say. I roll over to look at the alarm clock. _8:00 AM _

I take a deep breath and feel Lucy moving around in the bed. Mel jumps onto the bed with us and says, "Up and at 'em." Melanie says.

I feel Lucy sitting up. "Up and at 'em?" Lucy questions.

"Yeah. It's a way of saying get up. Wake up. Haven't you heard it before?" Melanie says.

Lucy starts to giggle. "Mommy always said 'Up and Adam.' She says it wrong." Lucy giggles again.

I put a pillow over my head. "Not my fault." I groan. "That's what I thought the saying was."

I hear Melanie and Lucy giggling and whispering. Jeeze, when did my twin sister become such a kid? Eh… she's just enjoying herself. Let me not be mean.

Hey! Hold up a second! When did Sam Puckett care about being nice to her sister? Damn becoming a mother has really taken its toll on me. Now I actually care about people's feelings. Ew. What the chizz is that?

All of a sudden I feel hands all over me as Melanie and Lucy start tickling me. "Stop." I say in between my laughter. "I. Can't. Breathe." I say laughing on the top of my lungs. I start tickling Lucy and Melanie and it becomes an all out tickle war… which I of course, being the awesome tormentor I am, win.

Finally after a few minutes we settle down. "I need to take a wazz." I say.

"Ew mommy! TMI." Lucy says.

"Yeah, TMI Samantha. You'd think you'd be more lady like now that you're grown up and a mother." Melanie says laughing.

I roll my eyes. "What. Ever."

Lucy and I brush our teeth, shower and go downstairs where Spencer and Veronica already are. "Hey. When did you guys get here?" I ask.

"Oh a little while ago. We started making breakfast already." Veronica says.

"Oh by the way Melanie, you're out of food." Spencer says.

"Oh chizz." Melanie says.

"We're out of food too. Like there is seriously nothing in our house." Veronica says.

"Maybe you and I can go grocery shopping together." Spencer says to Mel as we all sit down to eat our waffles, turkey sausage and eggs.

"Well I have a meeting with my staff at the restaurant today that I can't postpone." Melanie says taking a bite of her turkey sausage.

"When is it? Maybe we can go after you get back?" Spencer asks.

"I leave in an hour and half, which really doesn't give us any time to go before my meeting and I should be back within a three hours. But why doesn't Sam go with you."

"Wait what?" I almost jump out of my chair at the dining table. "Me?"

"Yeah Sam. I mean it saves us all time if you two just go." Melanie says.

"Why doesn't Spencer just go with Veronica and you just give him a list of what to get?" I ask.

Veronica who is sitting on the left of me leans over and whispers in my ear, "He doesn't let me go grocery shopping anymore. After we found out I was pregnant. You know…"

"Oh." I say. I don't know what else to say.

"Spencer really needs someone to go grocery shopping with him or else he always brings the worst fruits and forgets to check the expiration dates and well he's just bad when it comes to grocery shopping." Veronica says loudly.

Spencer glares at her. "That is NOT true! Okay maybe it is a little true. But not always."

"Most of the time." Melanie says as she laughs.

I can't help but laugh too. "Okay, okay I will go but what if…"

"No one will recognize you, Sam." Spencer says.

"But what if someone does?"

"Just pretend to be me." Melanie says.

"But our hair?" I said grabbing a bunch of my long curls while pointing at her short straight hair.

"Just put it in a bun and wear a cap, Sam." Melanie says. "For a medical school student, you're not that smart."

Everyone, including Lucy laughs as I glare at Melanie. "Fine."

"Plus the chances of you running into someone at a grocery store in the middle of the day on a Friday is like little to none. You're just overly scared." Veronica says.

I guess she's right. We finish up breakfast than Spencer, Lucy and I sit on the couch while Melanie and Veronica clean up. I know I should go help… but I'm just too darn lazy.

"So mommy… when are we going to the grocery store?" Lucy asks.

"We? There's no we. Your uncle Spencer and I are going. Not you."

"I want to go too!"

Veronica and Melanie finish putting the washed plates away and come to the living room. "Well you and I can just sit back and relax together." Veronica says.

"But I want to goooo!" Lucy whines. _'Ugh this kid.'_ I think. Sometimes I swear her being like me isn't the best thing in the world.

"No Lucy!" I say putting my foot down.

Lucy starts to pout and starts giving her puppy dog eyes.

"Awwh man. Just let her come with us." Spencer says falling for her trick. I see a slight smile on Lucy's face before she continues with her pout.

"Yeah, just let her go." Melanie says.

"Pleasee." Veronica begs. "Just look at that face. How can you say no to that face?"

"Like this… NO!" I say turning to Lucy.

Lucy gets mad and is about to stomp away when Spencer grabs her. "Come on, Sam." Spencer says holding Lucy on his lap. "All she wants is to be able to go outside."

"Pleaseeeee?" Lucy begs.

"Okay fine! I give up. You all win!" I say in defeat.

After a little while, Mel, Spencer, Lucy and I head out while Veronica leaves to do laundry. Melanie leaves in her car to go to her meeting and Spencer, Lucy and I take his car to the grocery store. So far everything is good. I did what Melanie said and I have my hair up in a bun and a cap, just in case anyone we know sees me. I also take the extra step and put on a pair of huge sunglasses.

We walk into the grocery store and so far it's all good. No one we know. Nothing to worry about. I get the fruit that is on the list of things we need for Melanie's place and Spencer's place.

_2 whole watermelons_ [check]

_1 cantaloupe _[check]

_2 packs of grapes (green) _[check]

_1 pack of grapes (purple) _[check]

_8 apples (green) _[check]

"There we have all the fruits on the list. Now on to the vegetables." I say to Spencer who's focus is on the sample table two isles down.

"Okay great. Yeah we got all the fruits. Awesome." Spencer says.

"Do you want to go to the sampling tables?" I ask.

"Yes please." Both Spencer and Lucy say in unison.

"Fine. Go." I say.

"Yes!" Spencer says as he and Lucy rush off. Whatever, Spencer wasn't being much of a help anyways. All he was really doing was checking off the items on the list. Melanie and Veronica both warned me that he usually just goes straight to the samples at the grocery store.

I head over to the vegetables and start picking out some tomatoes when I hear a familiar voice behind me. "Hey sweetie."

I turn around to see Brad and Freddie. Brad and Freddie… coming towards me.


	16. iCan't Believe This!

**_Author's Note: I can not thank you guys enough for all the reviews on the last chapter! I tried to reply to as many of you as I could but than the site started acting all weird. But thank you all!_**

_**I have NEVER gotten as many reviews or as many hits as I got yesterday.**_  
><em><strong>I got a total of 57 reviews in 24 hours! I just couldn't believe it!<br>**_**_And my story got over 1.22K hits just yesterday and I have NEVER had that before!_**

**_SO THANK YOU ALL!_**

**_I updated as soon as I could but this site was being weird. Sorry. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter._**

**_remember_****_: MORE REVIEWS = FASTER UPDATES  
>And let the drama begin! Enjoy!<em>**

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* * *

><p>iCan't Believe This!<p>

* * *

><p><em>Sam's POV<em>

* * *

><p>'<em>OH HELL FUCKING NO! WHAT FUCKING CHIZ DID I GET MY ASS INTO? OH CHIZ. OH CHIZ. OH FUCKING BLOODY MOTHER FUCKING CHIZ.'<em> I am really trying to calm down but all I want to do was punch something. Punch someone. I knew I shouldn't have gotten talked into coming here with Spencer. But damn… he did need my help. But look where helping people has gotten me?

Veronica's words start running through my mind, "Plus the chances of you running into someone at a grocery store in the middle of a day on a Friday is like little to none." She had said. "You're just overly scared."

WELL GUESS WHO WAS FUCKING RIGHT! SEE THERE WAS A REASON FOR ME TO BE SCARED AND NOW WHAT I FEARED IS HAPPENING!

I am overcome by a feeling of shock and fear as I watch Freddie and Brad come closer. I don't know what to do. If I run, than it's just really suspicious. Why would I, Melanie, run away from Brad, my boyfriend of three years for no reason? It doesn't make sense. They would figure out something is wrong. Plus that's not even the issue because there's nowhere to hide in this store. I have to stay here and pretend to be Melanie. I can do that. And plus… OH MY GOD… Spencer and Lucy are together somewhere in this damn grocery store and they might just appear out of nowhere. I feel my heart pounding faster and faster as Brad and Freddie take each step.

Finally Brad comes up to me while Freddie stays back a few feet. He tries not to look at me. There's something in his eyes… something I never saw before. It looks like a combination of pain, anger and… heartbreak? Freddie and I make eye contact for a half second before he looks away. I guess he can't face me… well Melanie… knowing that she lied to him about talking to me and he lied to me about her getting hurt.

Freddie says, "Hey," while staying behind as Brad comes closer me. There are literally a few inches between our faces. I quickly turn my face away and start going through the tomatoes.

"HI!" I say in my best sweet innocent Melanie voice.

"What are you doing here?" Brad says putting his hands around my waist. From the corner of my eye, I can see Freddie look away. Does it bother him that Melanie and his best friend Brad are dating? Why would it?

'_I'm here to ride all the roller coasters. DUH. Why the hell would I be in a grocery store unless I had to do groceries.' _I think in my head, but that wasn't a reply "Melanie" would give. That's way too Sam. I try to shake Brad off as I move to the next stand where there are more tomatoes. "I ran out of groceries."

"But didn't you and Spencer do groceries just the other day?" Brad asks.

Ugh. Why must he ask so many questions? Was Freddie like this when we were dating? Jeeze, it's been so long I can't remember. Damn, I can't remember what it feels like to have a boyfriend. Okay, that's not the issue here. Ugh what do I say? I can't be like oh yeah well Spencer and I have had two extra guests for the past few days so we ran out of food. Well actually… "Yeah," I start to say, "Spencer and I have had a few dinner guests for two nights now and so we ran out of food."

"Oh. I thought you had that meeting with your staff today?" Brad asks.

"Yeah. It was in the morning. Plus we finished early."

"So is Spencer here with you?" Brad asks. _'Damn him and his questions.' _I think.

"He's probably where the samples are." Freddie says laughing.

Oh crap. What do I say? It's my fault. I said Spencer ran out of groceries too. Damn, where the hell have my lying skills gone over the past six years? "Yeah he's around." I try to smile while continuing to pick the tomatoes.

Again Brad puts his hands around my waist and his face into my neck. I hate this. Ugh. "I missed you the past few days. I hate that Freddie sends me to work in Los Angeles monthly. He sucks."

"HEY I CAN HEAR YOU!" Freddie says.

I feel Brad turn away from me and I turn my head to look at him and see him making a face at Freddie who makes a face back at him. Boys will be boys. No matter how old they get, their childish habits don't fade. I quickly turn my head back to the tomato stand when Brad turns me around and leans in for a kiss.

I start to fake cough as hard as I can. "Brad… don't… I'm sick." I say while still fake coughing.

"It never stopped me before and it's not about to right now." Brad says leaning in.

"DON'T." I whisper through gritted teeth pushing him away as I look into his eyes. I see fear. That's always good.

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>Brad makes a face at me and I make one back. He turns back to Melanie and spins her around so she's facing me and him. I, of course am a few feet back. I know she's angry at me. She's upset I lied to Sam. I know she must hate me so much right now. She didn't even call or text or come by all day yesterday and we had the fight on Wednesday. I know she's mad but hell I'm mad too. I mean she has contact with Sam and she never mentioned it before. She just sat back and watched everything in my life go down. What the hell? I'm not wrong… am I? Maybe it's just Sam wanted to get away from me and she told that to Melanie so Melanie tried to spare my feelings? Ugh I don't know but I do really miss Sam.<p>

I see Brad lean in for a kiss and I look away. I hate when they get all romantic in front of me. It pisses me off. When I see Melanie, my mind automatically goes to Sam and I hate the thought of Sam with another guy. Especially my best friend Brad. I know this isn't Sam but still.

I also hate when Brad tells me about his sex life with Melanie. Sam and Melanie are identical and their bodies are identical, although Sam is a bit thinner. But their bodies are the same and the fact that Brad has seen Melanie naked is like him seeing Sam naked. I hate that thought so much… it makes me want to pound his head in.

I hate when they get all fricking romantic and whatever. I don't like seeing Sam's carbon copy all over some other guy. It's not that I don't want Melanie all over some other guy cause she's her own person and one of my best friends so she can do whatever makes her happy but I just hate the idea of Sam being all over some other guy and seeing Mel and Brad together constantly puts that thought in my head. I stare at the floor not looking up until one of them starts to talk because I seriously don't want to see them in a battle of tonsils.

* * *

><p><em>Brad's POV<em>

* * *

><p>Okay Melanie has been acting weird since Freddie and I got here. You'd think she'd be happy to see me after four long days of separation but no. Not once does she turn to face me or hug me or anything. I try to wrap my arms around her and she just shakes them off. What the fudge? This isn't like my Mel. My Mel would have jumped into my arms the moment she heard me say "Hey sweetie." My Mel would squeeze me and give me a long hug. My Mel wouldn't stop me from kissing her no matter what. Mel and I always kiss, even if she's sick or I'm sick. It never mattered before. So why now?<p>

But now not only is she pushing me away but she has this deadly poisonous tone that I've never heard from her before. _'Seriously, what the fudge is going on?'_ I think.

I look into Melanie's eyes and I realize this isn't Melanie. There is something else in these eyes… less on the lines of love and more on the lines of revulsion? _'What the fudge?' _I think. Than it hits me… "S-S-Sa-Sam?" I stutter in a hushed tone.

"DO NOT SAY MY NAME OUT LOUD." She whispers through her teeth. She and I glance over to Freddie who is looking at the floor. Typical Freddie, never looking when he thinks people are about to make out. Okay why does that even concern me right now? Chiz, my main concern is Sam who looks like she's about to bite my head off.

"S-S-S-S-S-Sorry." I manage to get out. "It's really you."

"Yeah and Freddie will NEVER know." She whispers. "GOT IT?" She clenches on to the collar of my shirt.

I just silently nodded my head. "I s-s-swear, I won't tell him."

"Good. Or else I will be kind enough to break a few bones and also shove my foot up your ass while I'm at it."

Of course, Sam comes back six years later and how does she greet me? Not with a smile. Not with a 'I missed you' or a hug. No instead she greets me the most possible Sam way she can. With a threat. Of course. When we first met, she was really nice but than we got closer and she felt it was okay to start being tough. I mean she wasn't usually threatening me, actually she would threaten Carly more than me but right now, I was scared for my life. And oh chiz… I tried to kiss her. I should thank God, I'm alive right now.

"Now take Freddork over there," Sam says and we look at Freddie who is still staring at the floor, "and leave! Keep him busy for the next couple of days while I'm here. Melanie will explain everything to you later but right now, take your ass and Fredwiener's ass and get out of my face before Spencer comes over here and my cover is blown. YOU GOT IT?" Her eyes look murderous. I can't even speak so I just nod again. "Good." She says as she slowly lets go of the collar of my shirt.

I clear my throat and Freddie looks up. "Must you guys make out in a grocery store? Jeeze Brad, Mel, both of your cheeks are flushed." Freddie says.

'_Oh it's not what you think.' _I think in my head. _'We're not flushed from making out. More like I'm petrified and she's mad.' _Of course I can't say any of that unless I want to die so I just mutter out a "Sorry."

"S'cool. Just try to tone down the kissing in public people." He says with a half smirk.

"But we weren't kissing. Sa-" Oh shit I almost said Sam… I look over to Sam who has her eye on me and I continue, "she's just feeling sick so we were just hugging."

"Oh. But that never stopped you two before." Freddie says.

"I have a throat infection and my mouth hurts. Or else you know, I would totally kiss my sweetie pie over here." Sam says in her best Melanie voice. Wow. She's good. One thing Sam Puckett has always been good at is lying.

"Oh. You going to be okay?" Freddie asks as he gets closer to Sam.

"Yeah." Sam starts to… fake cough? "I'll be okay." She keeps her head turned away from me and Freddie.

Freddie comes next to me and places his hand on Sam's forehead while she is still faced away from us. "Well no fever. So that's a good sign."

"Like I said, it's just a minor throat infection and swollen mouth. No biggie. I will be fine soon. I'm on medication." Sam says quickly.

"Oh that's good. That's why you weren't over yesterday. I thought you were still mad. I guess you are or else you would've told me that you're sick." Freddie says. Mad? What did he do to make her, well Melanie as he thinks she is, mad?

"No. I was just resting. But I need to do my groceries so I'm here."

"Yeah. She'll be okay. Well we should go." I say as I grab Freddie.

"I need to do my groceries too. And didn't you say you did too? That's why we're here!" Freddie says. I can feel the suspicion rise in his eyes and voice.

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>"Yeah but we can do it later." Brad says. What's going on?<p>

"But we're already here."

"But I thought of something really important." Brad says.

"What?"

"One of my files. I needed to send it to George in accounting. I forgot to."

"Which file?"

"I will tell you on our way. Come on. I need to get it to him soon! I totally forgot."

'_Okay something is seriously wrong. Why is Brad all of a sudden thinking about work? And what file? What the hell is going on?' _I think.

"But Melanie… she's sick and needs to do her groceries."

"Yeah but Spence is here too." Brad said.

"Yeah but he's off sampling food."

"Don't worry about me." Melanie says sweetly. Too sweetly. Melanie was sweet but it's like right now she's trying to be even more sweet. What the hell? "I'm okay. Go."

"If you say so." I say hesitantly. I turn to give her a hug and she's stiff at first but than she's okay again and she starts hugging me back. "Take care."

"Okay." Mel says pulling out of the hug. For the first time today I get a good look at her. She's looking at Brad. More like glaring?

There's something different. Her eyes… there's something in her eyes that's so not like her. It's more Sam. There is that shine and brightness in her eyes that I've only seen in Sam's eyes. That was the triumphant look Sam usually had… especially after she's finished bullying or threatening someone.

"Let's go!" Brad says again.

"Okay!" I say. I have no clue what the hell his problem is. I mean he never mentioned an important file before. I take a step back still facing Melanie, ready to walk away when I see Melanie finally looking at me for the first time today. Now her eyes are… sparkling? It's the way Sam's eyes would sparkle around me after the lock-in. _'Am I imagining this?' _I think. _'There must be something wrong with me. Melanie glaring at Brad and her eyes sparkling at me? Oh I have lost it.' _I take one more look at her and I notice something else. Something else that I've never seen on Melanie… a locket. It has three hearts inside each other with a cursive _S _in the center. I've seen a locket exactly like this one before.

I walk back to Melanie and I hear Brad groan. "Just one second." I say to Brad and I turn back to Melanie. "Mel?" At first she doesn't acknowledge me calling her name even though she's looking at me. "Mel?" I say again.

* * *

><p><em>Sam's POV<em>

* * *

><p>"Hmm?" I say keeping my eyes on Freddie. I had forgotten for a moment that I am Melanie… well for right now.<p>

"That necklace." Freddie says as he points to my necklace. _'Oh chiz. My locket.' _I think. I grab on to the locket that Alex made for me, Lucy and Gracie. We each have one and since he have it to us, none of us have taken it off. Gracie was buried with hers. "Why does it have a _S_ on it?" Freddie asks.

"Oh." I start to hesitate. Crap… what do I say? "It's Sam's, silly. I found it a while after she left and I put it away but I never wore it until now." I add in case he starts to wonder why he hasn't seen it before.

"Can I see?" Freddie asks.

"Freddie… it's nothing." I say. I don't want him to ask me to open the locket. I don't want him to see the pictures.

"Let me just see the locket." Freddie says in a harsh tone. _'What the hell?'_ I think. _'Why does he want to see the locket so bad? Maybe he just wants to see the left remaining item of me, Sam.'_ But I really hope he doesn't touch it or open it.

"Just…" I begin to say before Freddie cuts me off.

"Let me see." Freddie says looking into my eyes. I can feel the warmth and love in my eyes while looking at him. I just hope he doesn't notice it too.

I start to take my hand off of the locket so Freddie can clearly see the front of the locket with the diamonds in heart shapes and the cursive _S_. "Don't touch it. I don't want it to break." I say quickly. I just don't want him to try and open it.

"Fine. Flip it over."

"What?" I ask. I can feel the nervousness taking over. "It doesn't open." I say quickly.

"Alright but I want to see the back."

"There's nothing on the back." I say. Why does he even want to see the back? I mean what the hell? People usually just want to see the front of a necklace because backs are usually empty. Although the back of this locket isn't. I don't want him asking me what the _SGL _on the back stands for. I don't even know what I can say about that. But so far I was lucky and neither Lucy or Spencer have shown up here… so maybe I should just show him the back. Tell him I will explain later and have him leave before my cover is blown. I'm sure I can make up a lie about what SGL stands for if I get more time.

"I just want to see."

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>"But Freddie…" She starts to say. I'm not in the mood to hear it so I just take the small locket in my hand and flip it over before she can say anything else and that's when I see it. Diamonds in the shape of one heart with a <em>SGL <em>on the back.

My mind flashes back to yesterday afternoon.

"**And that… that's a really pretty locket." I had said to the little girl.**

"**Oh thank you. It's three of a kind. Three of a kind as in my Grandpa Alex, he's my mommy's boss but we're all like family, he had three of these unique lockets made right after he found out Gracie died so mommy, Gracie and I each could have one always around our neck. Gracie was buried with her locket. No one else has a locket like this." She turned over the locket to show me the back which has **_**SGL **_**inscribed in cursive with more another heart formed by diamonds around the letters. "L for me, Lucy. G for my sister, Gracie. S for my mommy, S-"**

"S for… Sam?"


	17. iCan Play Games Too: part 1

**_Author's Note: So sorry for the late update you guys!  
>I was recovering from saying goodbye to a huge part of my childhood... Harry Potter!<br>I read the last book when it first came out, but watching it come alive on screen was just too much!  
>I'm still in shock mode... I love Snape and wish love like his existed in the real world.<em>**

_**Anyways, on with the story!**_  
><em><strong>This is for <span>Kressxblack<span> and S. Benson who both updated two chapters of their story so I could update mine.**_

**_More Reviews = Faster Updates. DUH :)_**

**_- Em_**

* * *

><p>iCan Play Games Too (part 1)<p>

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>A wave of emotions take over. No… this isn't possible. Is it?<p>

There's only one way to find out. But before I can say anything she starts to talk.

"Sam's Good Luck." She says.

"What?" I ask.

"SGL stands for Sam's Good Luck. It was her good luck charm." She says. "Yeah that's it." She mutters so quietly it almost strained my ears to hear her.

"Oh really?" I ask still holding on to the locket.

"Yup."

"But than why did you say there's nothing on the back?"

"I… forgot… that it was there. But now I remembered." She says.

I finally let go of the locket and look up into her eyes. She looks away. _'Yeah, this is definitely Sam.' _I think. Whenever Sam used to lie to me she wouldn't be able to look me in the eye.

But I still have to make sure. I want answers and I want the truth and there's only one way to get it.

…_by playing a game_

"Melanie…" I begin to whisper so Brad can't hear. For a second she doesn't answer and than she realizes I mean her and she looks at me, still not looking into my eyes. "Remember our conversation from Saturday night?" I whisper. If this is Sam, she'll say yes. However, if this is Melanie, she'll be like what conversation because she knows I was in Los Angeles all weekend for work.

A look of confusion comes over her face. For a moment I think it's Melanie but that thought is easily vanished when the blond in front of me begins to speak. "Y-Y-Yes, I remember. Of course I remember."

'_This is definitely Samantha Melissa Puckett.' _I think. _'Now let the games begin.' _A smirk begins to creep across my face, now it was time for me to get my answers.

"Well, can we go to that place now and finish the conversation?" I ask.

"But-" she was about to say.

"Come on you promised. Unless… is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing." She hastily says.

"What are you guys whispering about?" Brad began to say. "Freddie we need to leave! Come on."

"Just give us a moment." I start to say.

"Uh… Brad, why don't you go find Spencer and take him to do whatever you have to do? We will meet you guys back at home." She says.

From the corner of my eye I see Brad mouthing 'Are you sure?' to Sam, and she begins to nod. So Brad knows? Did he just find out? Is that what they were doing when I thought they were making out? Were they just talking? Damn it, I wish I had heard their conversation.

"Uhh… okay so you guys came in Spencer's car?" Brad asks Sam. She nods.

"Great, Brad can leave in Spencer's car and you can leave in mine." I say.

"But I need to finish doing the groceries." She says.

"Okay. I can help." I say.

Brad is about to leave when Sam says, "One sec… uhh sweetie. Let me just text Spencer so he knows what's going on." Brad nods and she pulls out the new Pear-Phone and starts to text.

"Uhm Mel? I thought you had the Blueberry? When did you get the Pear-Phone 7?"

She looks at me startled. "Oh… uhmm… it was a gift. From my Bradley-cakes over here."

I look over to Brad who wearily smiles. Sam finishes her text and lets Brad go. They hug for a bit and he kisses her cheek. _'Oh the charades these two are playing.'_

* * *

><p><em>Brad's POV<em>

* * *

><p>I don't know what Freddie said to Sam but now she wants to be alone with him? Just a few minutes ago she was threatening to kick my ass if I didn't leave with Freddie. What is going on?<p>

Sam texts Spencer and then hugs me before I leave. I see Freddie watching us from the corner of my eye. Do I kiss Sam… on the cheek? Why is she pretending to be Melanie anyways? And how does she know that my Mel-berry calls me Bradley-cakes? Things are getting too weird.

I take a chance and kiss Sam on the cheek before pulling out of the hug. She gives me one of those deadly Sam looks that sends a chill down my spine. I smile wearily. What else can I do? We have to keep up the act. I mean she must understand that.

I start to walk away from Sam and Freddie… still wondering what he said to make her rethink the whole situation and be alone with him. Obviously she doesn't want him to know she's Sam so what's going on? Just than I get a text on my phone. It's from Spencer.

_Meet us outside in the parking lot._

_Car is in S23._

'_Wait… did he just say 'us?' What does he mean by that?' _I think. I make my way outside to the parking lot and go towards isle-S. I walk down the isle and see Spencer sitting on the hood of his car. "Hey." I say.

"Hey… uhh why did Melanie-" he starts to say.

I cut him off, "I know that was Sam inside."

His eyes grow wide. "Oh crap. But Freddie…?"

"He doesn't suspect a thing."

He lets out a deep breath. "Good. But why did… why would Sam ask us to leave?"

"I have no clue. I've been trying to figure that out myself. Freddie started whispering something to her and all of a sudden she was like for me to leave with you. I'm sure everything is okay."

"Yeah. I hope so. Although I wish he figured out it is Sam and not Mel in there." Spencer says.

"What's going on?" I ask Spencer.

"It's getting really hot out here. Let's get in the car." Spencer says not paying any mind to my question. I get into the front passenger seat of the car and notice the engine is already on and the air-conditioner is on high. _'Why would he leave his AC and engine on when the car is empty?_' I wonder. Spencer sits down and looks to the backseat. For the first time I look back too and see… a little girl.

I rub my eyes to make sure what I'm seeing is actually there when she says, "Hi! You're Uncle Brad right? You date Auntie Mel. Auntie Mel talks a lot about you! It's a pleasure to meet you."

Wait… WHAT!

* * *

><p><em>Sam's POV<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie helps me with the grocery shopping and we don't really talk while we get everything. Something feels odd here. Every once in a while I glance over to Freddie who just looks at me and smirks. What the hell is going on here?<p>

Freddie is by my side the whole time as we shop so I can't even call or text Melanie to figure out what she and Freddie talked about last Saturday night. It must be serious, right? Wait… does it have to do with the engagement party thing? No, that can't be. That was way too long ago. Ugh this is so annoying. I have no clue what's going on.

We finally finish grocery shopping and we leave. Freddie drives in silence and I'm just lost in my thoughts. What should I expect? I have no clue what's going on here. Soon we pull up to Bushwell Plaza. I start to get out of the car when Freddie grabs my hand.

"Wait." He says still holding onto my hand and he starts texting with his other hand. "Spencer and Brad will be down any second to get the groceries."

"Why can't we just take them up? It's not that much to carry?" I ask confused.

"But we're not going inside yet."

"Oh."

"Have you forgotten the place already?" Freddie asks smirking.

"Oh. O-Of course… I haven't." I say, trying my best not to act un-Melanie like. Soon the guys come down and Freddie opens the trunk. Brad looks at me through the window and there's this look on his face. A look of confusion and… pity? Oh hell no… he better not be pitying me. Although I'm pitying myself right about now.

"So… uhh aren't you guys coming up yet?" Spencer asks getting some of the grocery bags.

"Not yet." I say, popping my head out the window. "By the way, the paper bags are your groceries, the plastic are Me- mine." I say stopping myself before saying Melanie's name.

"Okay."

"See you guys soon." Spencer says and walks back inside.

"Bye." Brad kisses my cheek before going inside with the rest of the groceries. I wonder if he actually kisses Mel that much. Ick. That's just too sappy man.

"Okay." Freddie says as he gets back into the car. "Let's go."

He starts driving and after about fifteen minutes or so we pull up to the Marriott hotel. _'WAIT… this is the place?' _I wonder. _'What the hell?'_

Freddie goes and parks the car and we make our way into the huge hotel. I stay in the waiting area while Freddie goes to the front office. Are we having lunch here or what? I mean I'm not even dressed that nice. I'm dressed like Melanie… not that she dresses badly but just this place is fancy and expensive. Even for a hotel… and here I am in skinny jeans, a button down shirt and a cap for crying out loud. Plus some very uncomfortable heels, to add the Melanie touch. I mean I wear heels but not everywhere unlike this damn girl.

After a few minutes Freddie comes over to me and waves a key card in front of me. _'Wait… we're going into one of the rooms? Seriously what is going on here?' _I follow Freddie into the elevator and he clicks the button to the top floor.

"And our presidential suite waits." He says grinning. Our presidential suite? OUR… as in him and me. ME as in MELANIE. HIM AND MELANIE?

I try to calm down. Okay, I'm jumping to conclusions over here. I don't know what's going on yet but surely soon enough I will find out. The elevator door opens and Freddie leads the way. He stops at a door with a gold plaque on it which has the words _Presidential Suite _engraved in it. He opens the door and the room is huge. Straight ahead is the living room area which has a big screen TV and a few sofas. There are also glass screen doors that lead to the balcony. On the left there is a dining room. On the right there is another glass screen door, to what I imagine the bedroom. I check the place out and it's huge. "Wait for me in the bedroom." Freddie says. I look back to see him opening a bottle of champagne. He pours me a glass and hands it to me.

"Uh… okay?" I say as I make my way through the sliding glass doors into the bedroom. The room is huge. There are two recliner chairs. A huge wardrobe, two side tables and a huge bed… with rose petals all over. _'What is going on?' _I think as I sit down on one of the recliners. I'm not going to jump to conclusions. I'm not going to jump to conclusions. I'm not going to jump to conclusions.

I pull out my cell phone and am about to call Mel when I notice the charge is dead. Just my fucking luck. I sit and wait for a few minutes and take very small slips of the champagne that Freddie handed me. I definitely don't want to get drunk and I definitely don't want to let anything slip. I must stay cautious and aware.

Soon Freddie comes through the sliding doors. In his hand is a see through bottle of vodka which is open and full. He sits on the edge of the bed and looks at me. He takes a sip and says, "Come here."

What the hell am I supposed to do? I put the glass of champagne down on the side table and go over to him. He takes another sip from the bottle and than another. "Freddie, stop drinking."

"You never tell me to stop before, why now?" he asks raising his eyebrows. Wait… he drinks like this in front of Melanie? She never told me that.

He takes another sip. "It's just because… you…"

"I what, Melanie?" He asks taking another sip. "You know I need alcohol before I can do this."

"Do what?" I ask.

He takes yet another sip. "Come on… you know…" Freddie says raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"I… uh… forgot?"

"You didn't forget. Do you not want to today?" He says taking another sip. The bottle is now only three quarters full.

"I… don't know?"

"Let me change your mind." He says. He takes one more sip and slides over closer to me and starts kissing my lips and down my jaw line to my neck.

For a moment it feels so good. I feel my hormones go crazy as his lips are all over me. But then it hits me… he thinks his lips are all over… Melanie.

I push him away. "What are you doing?"

"What?" Freddie looks at me innocently before taking another sip. "Come on Melanie, it's been almost a week since we last had sex. Don't tell me you're not in the mood."

"I-I-It's been a week… since… we had SEX?" I say trying not to scream.


	18. iCan Play Games Too: part 2

**_Author's Note: Okay guys... I didn't want to update because I haven't been getting reviews. I'm not sure whether it's cause you guys are loosing interest or whatever the reason is but reviews are what keep me updating._**

**_Anyways, I'm off to a sleepover but I updated this chapter only because I promised my PIC-BUDDY, S. Benson, that I would._**

**remember: _MORE REVIEWS = MORE UPDATES_**

**_Have you checked out 'iSeddie' by S. Benson and 'My New Roommate' by Kressxblack? If you haven't you should!  
>Also, check out alternate universe Seddie in the story by <span>justshine09<span> called 'Just Have Faith'_**

**_That's it. Don't forget to review. Or else I won't update. Thank you!_**

**_- Em_**

* * *

><p>iCan Play Games Too (part 2)<p>

* * *

><p><em>Spencer's POV<em>

* * *

><p>Brad and I handed the groceries that Sam did for us to Veronica and headed downstairs to Melanie's apartment to put her groceries away. Lucy was upstairs with Veronica and I know Brad has some questions so it's best to just talk it out right now.<p>

We finish putting away Melanie's groceries in silence when Brad goes over to the couch and sits down. His eyes are still wide with shock.

"So…" I sit down next to him. He looks at me with questioning eyes.

"How long have you known?" he asks.

"Since Wednesday night. When Sam and Lucy got here."

"And… Melanie… she always knew?"

I thought about I for a moment. "Actually, I don't know."

"Sam… and Freddie… had a baby? And Freddie doesn't know?" he asked in disbelief. I know, I wouldn't believe it either but it's true.

"Yeah."

"Why is she back? If she doesn't want anyone to know she's Sam, why is she back?" Brad asks. I can sense the anger in his voice. He's angry Melanie didn't tell him. He's angry that Sam kept his best friend's kid hidden away. He's just angry.

"Well… it was actually all Freddie's doing." I say. Brad's eyes widen and I tell him the whole story, from Sam's life in New York, her loosing Gracie, the video chat, all the way up to this morning and going to the grocery store.

"I just can't… and she doesn't want him to know… and he's… oh my God… he's marrying Carly!"

"I know. I tried to get her to talk to him but she's as stubborn as ever. Maybe even more now that she had a kid to control." I laugh a little.

"She needs to talk to Freddie. He still loves her. He never stopped. He's just…"

"Marrying Carly cause he thinks that's what's best for her and him." I finish for him.

"Yeah."

"But there's no way we can get her to talk to him." I say.

"Let's just hope some way or some how Freddie figures it out and they actually talk."

"I don't know how that'll happen but I hope it's soon cause Carly comes home on Sunday."

"That gives us today and tomorrow. We will have to do something." Brad says. I just nod. But what can we actually do?

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>Oh Sam… the look on your face is priceless. But you brought this on yourself.<p>

Today I will find out the truth. There is no stopping this now.

You ran away for six long damn years. Now it's time you face up to what has happened and tell the truth. And I know the only way to provoke you is by angering you. So that's exactly what I'll do.

Samantha Melissa Puckett… you're not the only one who can lie and play games.

* * *

><p><em>Sam's POV<em>

* * *

><p>No. No. No. No. No. NO!<p>

There is no fucking way in hell they slept together. No, this can't be. There's no fucking way. He's Freddie. MY Freddie. Well no… technically he's Carly's Freddie. Oh my God… Carly! What will she think? How will she feel? This can't be happening. My own sister? And the love of my life? No, he's lying. He has to be lying. It must be all the alcohol. But why would he lie? Even if he's drunk, you don't lie like that. So they must have…

I try to keep the tears from falling but it's so hard. Him sleeping with my own sister? Why? Why would he do this to me? Why would Melanie do this to me? Do I not have anyone to call my own anymore? Melanie should have at least told me, but what would she have said? "Hey, sis, I'm sleeping with your ex?" I don't think so. And poor Brad. Oh they've been together for about three years now. Since their second year of college. What the hell? Why is Melanie like this? Why is Freddie like this?

'_Okay, it's time to get some answers.'_ I think.

I look at Freddie who is still staring at me. He takes another sip from the bottle. "What?" he asks.

"Why?"

He looks at me confused. "Why what?"

"Why do we do this? Why do we have sex? Why?"

For a moment, I could have sworn that there was a look of amusement on his face. "Well cause Carly and I aren't in love so we don't have sex."

"But we're not in love… are we?"

"Oh of course not Melanie. We both know you love Brad a lot." He takes another swig from the bottle.

"So I love Brad, and you and Carly are engaged, so why do we do this?"

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>It hurts me, Sam. Trust me, it really does hurt, but I need to lie and say all these things to get the truth out of you.<p>

You only talk when you're upset or angry and I know that I have to make your blood boil before you will say anything.

I love you. Always have and always will... the words I am about to speak... are nothing more than words.

I hope you can forgive me but I have to do this.

* * *

><p><em>Sam's POV<em>

* * *

><p>"Because we can. I thought you loved the thrill. Sneaking around, having fun. That was one Sam quality you have that I love." he says as he takes another sip.<p>

I feel the anger building up in me. My own sister, behaving like this? I thought she was better than this. I could have sworn she was better than this. I guess things do change over six years. I wanted to punch something. Kick something. Hurt someone. The anger was building up.

"Doesn't it remind you of Sam when we… have sex?" I ask, my voice almost breaking because of the anger and… pain.

"Of course it does, you know that Melanie. We went over this the first time." he says, a little drunk.

We did? I mean, they did? She knows it reminds him of me when the have sex? What is this? I don't even know my own sister anymore. "Let's go over this one more time." I say in a small voice. "You're marrying Carly but having sex with me. I know I have sex with you cause of the thrill but what is your reasoning?"

"Mel, you know Carls and I are only getting married cause Sam isn't coming back and neither is Gibson. And we both need to move past the past. But we're not having sex and I have needs too." He's obviously drunk but that doesn't keep him from continuing to drink.

I can't believe he's saying all this. "So Spencer is right… this is only a contract marriage?"

"If you want to call it that. There's no real contract but it's just two best friends getting married to help each other move on in life. Neither of us really wants to marry each other but it just makes sense. It's just convenient. You know all this… why am I going over this again?"

"How does us having sex help you move on? Especially if it reminds you of Sam."

He takes another swig. "I can't have Sam, but I might as well have her body right? I mean that was pretty much all she was really good for. Having sex."

I feel the anger boiling inside me. "I can't believe you just fucking said that!" I yell. How dare he? How dare he say that about me?

"Oh it's no news." He says nonchalantly. "Sam was good for sex and cooking. That's all. Man I miss her sex and food. Not that you're not good at both, but she was different. Anyways, can we do it now." That fucking be the alcohol talking.

I'm pissed the fuck off but I need to know one last thing. "Did you love her?"

"Of course I do. That's why I need the alcohol. So I forget it's you and can imagine it just being her."

"Did you only love Sam for the food and sex?"

"Enough talking… more doing." Freddie drunkenly says taking another swig from the vodka bottle which was more than half empty at this point. He kisses down my jaw, down to my neck and collarbone. I'm angry. But this… this feels so good.

Than this words ring in my ears over and over again. I was only good for sex? That's all he thinks of me? I push him away.

"What now?" Freddie asks agitated and drunk.

"Just give me the vodka."

"Why?"

"I need a drink." I grab the bottle away from him and take a sip.

I look at the bottle with wide eyes and than I look over to him for a second before turning my gaze back to the bottle.

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>"What?" I ask, already knowing the answer.<p>

"This isn't vodka… it's…"

"Carbonated water with sugar? Yeah I know." I say normally, so she realizes I'm not drunk.

She turns and looks at me with wide eyes, realizing I'm not drunk. "Why?" She asks.

"Not everything is what it looks like," I say as I walk over to her and take off her cap, "right Sam?" I say as I open her bun and her long natural curls fall to her shoulders.


	19. iJust Want ANSWERS!

**Author's Note: I am very sorry about the late updates.  
>I've just had so much going on and I'm like sick right now but I'm trying my hardest to update.<strong>

**This chapter is dedicated to jessicalove24 as a belated birthday gift.**

**Stories to check out:  
>iSeddie by S. Benson (my PIC BUDDY)<br>just have faith by justshine09  
><strong>**My New Roommate ****by Kressxblack**

**I really like these stories and I'm certain you'll enjoy them too!**

**_remember_: more reviews = faster updates**

**_NOW ON WITH THE STORY!_**

**- Em**

* * *

><p>iJust Want ANSWERS!<p>

* * *

><p><em>Sam's POV<em>

* * *

><p>'<em>Holy fuck.'<em>

"W-W-W-What?" I try not to stutter. "I-I-I'm not Sam, I'm M-M-Melanie." FAIL. I am such a fail at lying these days. I never used to stutter when I lied before but now? What is happening to me? Ugh.

He stands there giving me an all knowing look. "Oh and your hair just grew ten inches in the past few days?" Freddie says as he picks up a few curls and plays with them between his fingers.

_'Oh chiz. What now?' _I think to myself. _'Come on Sam, you're the master of lies, pull something out of your ass. Anything.'_

I do a Melanie giggle. "Silly Freddie," I play smack his hand away, "they're hair extensions. A-Duh."

He raises his eyebrow and after a few seconds of silence, Freddie starts laughing… but there's a tone of anger in his laughter. "You'll always come up with something right? Say anything to hide the truth? Typical Sam hiding from the truth."

"I'm NOT Sam. Jesus Freddie." I try to say sweetly through my teeth as I try to hold back the anger. Why can't he just fall for my lie?

"Yeah, and Lucy isn't our daughter."

OH MY FUCKING GOD. Did he just say that?

"Excuse me?"

"You can deny being Sam but you can't deny Lucy being our daughter, can you?"

No, no I can't. But I can't have this conversation. Not now. What do I do? What can I do? I do the only thing that comes into my mind…

I punch him in the gut.

Freddie falls to his knees. I take a step forward to help him up but I turn my back to him. He brought this on himself. In an instant Freddie gets up and pushes me up against a wall. He pins my arms on my sides and pushes his weight onto me.

"I want answers Sam and I want them now!"

"LET ME GO!" I say trying to push the weight of his body off of mine.

"Give me my answers!" Freddie shouts.

I shut my eyes and gather all the strength I have in me to push him away. I can't do this, I can't. I push Freddie off of me but he tries to grab me again. I push him down and quickly grab my things and run for the door.

* * *

><p><em>Carly's POV<em>

* * *

><p>"Sweetie…"<p>

"NO!" I say through my tears as my granddad holds my hand.

"Just listen to me." Dad says over video chat.

"I don't want to hear this. I can't listen to this." I say through my tears.

"You need to face it, he's gone." Dad says again. How can he just say that? How can he just lie to me? I know he's not gone. He can't be gone. HE ISN'T GONE!

"He's not gone. He can't be gone." I sob. This can't be happening. No, I refuse to believe this is happening. "YOU'RE LYING TO ME!" I shout.

"Calm down, cupcake." Granddad says resting my head on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay sweetie."

"No, no it's not." I say quietly. How could this happen? Why? Why, God? Why?

"We put our best man on base to complete this task. They're the best at what they do and this is what they found." Dad says. I can't even bear to look at him. This isn't what I expected. This isn't what I wanted. I don't know what I expected but this surely isn't it.

"This… it… no." I manage to get out.

"I know it's hard to believe sweetie. But it'll be okay." Granddad says stroking my hair.

"No, it won't be… not without him."

* * *

><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

* * *

><p>Sam pushes me down and my shoulder hits the edge of the bed. Damn it hurts. I try to get up but for a second the seething pain doesn't allow me to move. All I can do is lie on the floor and watch as Sam grabs her things and goes. Slowly I get up again, only to see her exiting the hotel room. I run down the hall to try to catch her and she jumps into the elevator. Damn it.<p>

I wait for one of the four elevators to open and jump on. Can this fucking elevator be any slower? I know I can get answers from Sam later, I mean she has to go back to Bushwell, but I want my answers now. Six years of hiding, I'm done. Now she needs to come out with the truth. I want to hear from her lips that Lucy is our… our daughter.

That's why she left, isn't it? Because she was pregnant? My mind goes back to six summers ago.

**I walk into my apartment, thank God mom is at work. I want some alone time with Sam. She had a doctor's appointment this morning but the rest of our schedule is free to just be able to be alone with each other. We barely get time to alone anymore with the whole Spencer and Sasha wedding planning going on. Sam's really into this wedding stuff too. It makes me curious. Does she ever think about marriage like that? No, no, she's Sam. Those girly ideas make her sick.**

**My thoughts are interrupted as I hear Sam in the bathroom. Throwing up? Again?**

**I run to the bathroom in my room and see Sam bent over the toilet throwing up. I pull back her hair and hold it away from her face so she doesn't vomit into her blond curls. After about five more minutes of her vomiting, she freshens up. **

**I head over to my bed and lay down and after a few minutes she comes and lays down next to me, resting her head on my chest. "Feeling better?"**

"**Better now." Sam answers interlacing her fingers into mine.**

"**What happened?" I ask, curious. Sam threw up yesterday after breakfast. That was like the first time I ever saw her throw up and it was the most unusual thing. In the middle of taking a bite of her bacon, she just ran to the bathroom and started vomiting. I don't think I've ever seen Sam throw up before that. Nope, never. Maybe when she was sick? I can't remember. I think the last time I saw her throw up was a few years ago when that disgusting mockery of a girl Missy gave her that "foreign candy" that made Sam too sick to do iCarly. **

"**I don't know what happened. I was feeling all good and everything and than this nauseating feeling came over me."**

"**You went to the doctor today, right?" I say making sure she went. She had this weird thing when it came to blood tests and stuff. She would freak out and come up with excuses not to go.**

"**Yes."**

"**Well prove it!" I said smirking. I needed to be sure she went to the doctor's. Sam rolled her eyes and pulled up her right arm sleeve and showed me the band-aid. I still wasn't sure so I peeled the band-aid from one side to make sure she was telling the truth. And she was. There was a small bruise from a needle there. From either getting a shot or a blood test. **

"**Now you believe me?" Sam asks.**

"**Yes ma'am. So what did the doctor say?"**

**Sam took a moment to think about it. "Nothing. Just a stomach virus."**

"**You need to watch what you eat and where you get your food from. Your stomach isn't made out of iron, Sam. You have to be more careful."**

"**Yeah, maybe." She says lost in thought. What was she thinking about? Was she hiding something? Nah, she wouldn't hide anything from me. Especially if it was something serious.**

"**Maybe you got this stomach virus because you always eat so much and for once your body gave in." I say laughing. Sam smacks me. "Ow. What the hell Sam?" She starts to laugh. The laugh that made me go crazy for her and I begin to kiss her. **

Soon I hear the ding of the elevator, signaling that I was on my intended floor. I break out of my thoughts and run out of the elevator and out the hotel entrance. I see Sam running straight ahead into the street.

I want answers and I want them now damn it.

I wish she would just stop running from me, running from the truth and just face it!

I need answers.

_I deserve answers._

I continue to run after Sam who doesn't even look back once.

I chase her about a block and a half away from the hotel when all of a sudden…

"SAM! LOOK OUT!" I scream.

But it's too late.

I watch as a dark blue caravan hits Sam, the force making her body fly up before falling and hitting the ground.


	20. iWill Be Strong

**Author's Note: People just review.  
>I'm lacking with my updates because my story is lacking with the number of reviews.<br>Reviews give me incentive to write.  
>Also, from this chapter on, I ask my readers to all review with not only their thoughts<br>but also post your_ favorite sentence from the chapter_.**

**Now this is a long chapter, so ENJOY.**  
><strong>Don't forget to R E V I E W!<strong>

**- Em**

* * *

><p>iWill Be Strong<p>

* * *

><p><em>Carly's POV<em>

* * *

><p>I tried to regain my composure. Here I was brawling my eyes out and yelling at my dad for something he wasn't responsible for. It wasn't his fault. All dad is trying to do is help me but it just hurts so much. I just, I don't know what to say or think. How can this be happening? Why is this happening? It's not fair. <em>'But life isn't fair.' <em>I think. That's true. When has life ever been fair to me?

Sam. Now Sam was lucky. Life was good to her. That's why she left us all behind. It's because she got everything she wanted from life and she didn't need us anymore. I wish Sam was here. Especially now. I need her more than ever right now. Sometimes I hate her so much. Okay, I don't hate her but I just miss her so much. But I can't be selfish. She felt like Seattle wasn't where she could follow her dreams, so she left. I wish she had said goodbye. But she left… so quickly.

And right now… I wish I could leave too. Leave everything behind like Sam. Only difference is that I want to leave my life behind. It's not worth anything. Not without him. I can't live without him. I refuse to live without him.

I feel a pang of pain in my heart as I realized I won't ever see him again. I never thought like this before. I always thought that he would come back. I always thought he would find out about me being engaged to Freddie and he would come back running. All I know is that he can't come back, even if he wanted to.

But a part of me refused to believe it. A part of me held onto the idea that he's somewhere and he's okay.

"Sugarplum? Sugarplum?" My dad says over the video chat.

"Hmm?" I shake my head, trying to clear my mind, which doesn't work.

"You looked like you were out of it." Dad says.

"I just. I was just thinking."

"I know it's hard to take all this in." Granddad says, his arms still around my shoulders.

"Y-You're absolutely sure, dad? Your men, they- they're sure they looked for the right person? That it's not someone else?" I ask, trying to hold back my tears again.

"From all their searching and research, they're sure." Dad says.

Charles Cornelius Gibson… **my **Gibby… is dead.

I take a deep breath. "How?" I ask quietly.

"What did you say honey? I couldn't hear you."

"How?" I say louder. Dad told me that Gibby is dead, but he didn't say how it happened or when. That's the actual reason I came here to Yakima, to find out Gibby's whereabouts with the help of my dad, granddad and Colonel Morgan… I mean Uncle Roger, without putting everyone else back at home through the stress. I knew Freddie wouldn't be mad that I'm trying to find Gibby, he'll be happy. He's not happy with this engagement. We just… it's just something that works but it isn't anything that we want. And Spencer… well I know he doesn't want me and Freddie to get married. He feels like it'll ruin our friendship because we're not in love. he wants me to be with Gibby but I didn't want to give him false hope of finding Gibby so I came here.

So I called Uncle Roger up a while back asking for help. He is one person I can always count on and I was right. He teamed up with my dad and granddad and got a team to find out what happened to Gibby. Okay, okay that sounds totally stalkerish, but it needed to be done. Gibby kept contact with all of us, and than suddenly he disappears. My mind flashes back to two months ago, the last day I spoke to Gibby over video chat.

"**Hey angel!" Gibby says.**

"**Hi sweetie. You're in a cheery mood today." I smile. Gibby hasn't been this happy in a while, it was like he forgot to smile. But today, his grin is so wide, it's from ear to ear.**

"**Yeah, I am."**

"**What's up? What made you so happy?"**

"**Something." Gibby teases.**

"**Oh don't tell me you found someone else in L.A. Now you're in love and are getting married." I joke.**

"**Haha. Very funny." Gibby says dryly. **

"**I'm kidding." I laugh. "Is it cause it's Friday and now weekend is finally here?"**

"**Now that you say it, I'm happy it's Friday. No work for two whole days. YAY!" Gibby than composes himself, "But that's not it."**

"**So what is it?"**

"**Oh you'll find out soon enough." Gibby winks.**

"**Hey McGibster." Spencer says as he comes behind me and waves. **

"**Hey Spence. How are you and Veronica?" **

"**We're good!" Veronica yells as she comes behind me too.**

"**How are you?" Spence asks.**

"**Oh I'm good."**

"**He's extra jolly today." I say.**

"**That I am." Gibby says and he starts doing one of his weird dances. Spencer and Veronica laugh and Gibby starts to take off his shirt.**

"**Seriously Gibby?" Veronica asks.**

"**Old habits die hard." Spencer laughs. Gibby laughs and continues to do his Gibby dance. "Okay, we're off to Socko's." Spencer says. He and Veronica wave bye to me and Gibby and leave through the elevator in the apartment.**

"**God Gibby, must your shirt always be off?"**

"**Oh you know you love it."**

"**That I do." I blush.**

"**I love you, you know?" Gibby says. My heart starts to race again. He hadn't said that in a while. Not since his grandfather died. After Gibby's grandfather died, he became so distant. He left to L.A. and just things changed. But it felt nice that some things were still the same.**

"**Yeah, I know." I smiled. "And I love your muscles and biceps and the fact that all that Gibby blubber is gone now." I joke and stick out my tongue. **

"**Oh shut up. You loved me even with the Gibby blubber." He says. It's true. I loved him even with his blubber. But he started to lose weight and tone up after we started dating. **

"**I love you Gibby." I say.**

"Carls?" Granddad says. I snap out of my flashback.

I nod my head. "Huh? Sorry my mind wandered off."

"I don't have all the information. I just know he died and it happened on uhm…" dad goes through some papers before finding the right one and saying, "on Saturday, March 17 2018. About two months ago."

March 17. March 17. Oh my God, that was the day after I spoke to him. If I'm not wrong, the last time we spoke was March 16. He died the day after we spoke.

"You don't know how?" I ask as tears start falling again.

"Sorry sugarplum. Your Uncle Roger knows. You can talk to him later tonight."

"Oh. O-Okay." I say.

"Sweetie, you should get some rest right now. You've been crying so much, a small nap might help you feel a bit better before you talk to Colonel Morgan." Granddad says.

"Yeah, he's right. We can talk again tomorrow, okay sugarplum?" Dad says.

"Yeah, okay. Bye dad, I love you." I say.

"I love you too kiddo." Dad says before blowing a kiss at me and closing the video chat.

"I'm going to just…"

"Okay Carly." Granddad says giving me a small kiss on the cheek before getting up and leaving.

I walk into my room, which Granddad had set up for me all those years back when he wanted to bring me to live with him in Yakima. He kept it in tact to this day so whenever I came to visit, I had a room that was… so me.

I fall into the bed and start to cry again. I cry and cry and cry until I start to slowly start to fall asleep.

_I open my eyes and see the blue sky above me. 'What happened? When did I get here? How did I get here?' I wonder. I sit up and realize I'm in the middle of a huge meadow. I'm surrounded by the most beautiful flowers and butterflies all around. I look down at myself and see that I am no longer in my corduroy pants and t-shirt but rather in a long flowy white dress and my hair is down. The wind starts to blow my hair into my face and when I push my hair away I notice a little girl with her back faced to me. She has her hands wide open, like she's in that scene from the Titanic and the wind is blowing her straight long blonde hair back._

_I stand up and walk towards the little girl. I slowly put my hand on her shoulder trying not to frighten her and she turns to look at me. Her chocolate brown eyes melt my heart. She looks so angelic in her knee-length white dress. _

"_Took you long enough Aunt Carly." She says in her small, soft angelic voice._

"_Did you just call me Aunt Carly?" I ask in disbelief._

_"Of course. You're my aunt, and your name is Carly. What else am I supposed to call you?" She giggles._

"_Who… who are you?" I ask._

"_I'm Gracie. Gracie Monica Melanie Benson."_

"_Gracie Monica Melanie Benson?" I ask. "Are you… are you…"_

"_Samantha Puckett and Fredward Benson's daughter? You bet your pretty self I am." She says with a huge smile across her face._

"_You're… like their future daughter?" I ask in shock. _

"_No you silly bean. I'm their daughter." Gracie says. She grabs the heart shaped locket around her neck. She presses on the little latch on one side of the locket and it opens. I kneel down so I'm eye level with her and look at the pictures in the locket around her neck. "See, that's mommy and daddy." She says as I look at the first picture which is of Sam and Freddie. I've seen this picture before. It was taken a long time ago, before Sam left when she and Freddie were dating. "That's me." She says as she flips the locket over and another picture shows. I look at the picture of Gracie as a new born baby with some blonde fuzzy hair and closed eyes. "And this is my younger sister Lucy." She says as she flips the locket over again and there is a picture of a new born baby with very little brown hair on her head and her eyes are wide and blue, just like Sam's. "We're twins but she's younger."_

"_So… you girls are already… alive?" I ask still in shock._

"_Yes and no." I give her a questioning look and sadness appears on her face, "Lucy is alive… but I'm not. I'm just… here." Gracie says as the sadness overtones her voice. _

"_Oh I'm sorry. How did you…"_

"_I died in my mommy's belly, right before she gave birth to me. There were problems with the delivery and the doctors said that mommy might die if she gave birth so while I was still in her tummy, I asked God to take me instead of her or my sister. And he listened. I'm happy he did, I wish I was with my family sometimes, but I get to watch you all from here." She says and the smile reappears on her face again._

_I look around again. "Where is 'here' exactly? Like where are we?" I say sitting back down in the meadow of flowers. Gracie stays standing a few inches away from me, looking into the sky._

"_You're in my heaven." Gracie says. _

"_This is heaven? Am I dead?"_

"_To answer your question, kind of and no." She says._

_I look at her quizzically. "No, you're not dead and this is kind of heaven. It's actually MY heaven." I gave her another puzzled look and she continues. "Let me explain… after we die, God decides whether we go to heaven or hell. If we're meant to go to hell, we get sent directly there. If we are meant to go to heaven, we go to one of the seven heavens, depending on which heaven we belong in. Now in heaven, we also have our own little heavens. It's a place God creates just for us so we can watch the people we love while they're on Earth and it also is parallel to the dream world so our loved ones can come into this heaven of ours, only when and if we want."_

"_So, this is just a dream?"_

"_Of course, but it's the truth."_

"_So you're an… angel?"_

"_Not really. Just an inhabitant of heaven. You see, the thing with our personal heavens is that none of the other inhabitants are allowed here. It is meant for the one for whom it was created. But also, since we can watch you, we can see if you need us or not. If you need us, we are allowed to call you to us while you're in a dream state of mind. So in your dreams you can come to us and well… talk."_

"_Oh…" It's pretty cool though that she can call me into her heaven when I'm asleep. "Gracie…?"_

"_Hmm?"_

_"If you died when you were born, how come you don't look like a baby?" I ask. Maybe that was a stupid question. I just want to know._

"_Well when we die, we get to choose how old we want to be for the rest of eternity. But we can change whenever we want. When I died, I decided to be the four year old version of me and God made me look like how I would look if I lived to be four. That's the version of me mommy saw in her dream when I let her visit. I stayed in my four year old state until a few months ago. That's when I decided that I wanted to look like the five year old me… the way I would be if I were still alive. I asked God to let me age every year with Lucy up until I'm 21." _

"_So you'll grow yearly until you're 21?"_

"_Yep. It's like having a birthday yearly in heaven. Cool isn't it?"_

_I nodded. "So… how often are you here?"_

"_I come here almost every day to watch over you guys a little. But I'm in sector B of heaven too."_

"_Sector B?"_

"_It's the second highest rank of heaven. That's where I was placed." She smiles proudly._

"_So is it boring?" I ask._

"_Heaven?" She asks. I nod. "Oh no! It's so fun. There's so much to do. And the food here, so amazing!"_

"_Of course the first thing you would mention about a place is the food." I smile._

"_Duh. I am Sam Puckett's daughter after all." She giggles._

"_Do you allow visitors here often?"_

"_No. I only allowed one visitor here before and that was mommy the day I died. She was so shaken up and she broke down. I saw she needed me and I called her to me so I could talk to her in her sleep. I told her I was okay and for her to take care of Lucy. Since than, no one has really needed me… until now."_

"_What made you bring me here?"_

"_There's a lot going on down there and right now, you need to be strong Aunt Carly. I know what you're going through but you need to stay strong right now for everyone down there."_

"_Wh-What's going on down there, sweetie?" I ask nervously._

"_Mommy… something really bad is happening to mommy, Aunt Carly. She and daddy need you. Lucy needs you. They all need you down there. But I promise you, if you're strong, good things will happen to you. Just don't fall apart."_

"_B-But…" I start to say,_

"_It's hard. You miss Uncle Gibby, right? But listen to me Aunt Carly, everything happens for a reason. God makes sure of it. And right now, you need to be strong for everything to happen correctly."_

"_Happen correctly?"_

_Gracie finally sits down next to me and puts her soft little hand on my cheek. "Just trust me Aunt Carly. Not everything is what it seems and you'll get your answers soon. Everything will work out."_

_I take a deep breath. "No, it won't." I say in a small whisper._

"_You just have to trust me." _

"_Easier said than done."_

_She gives me a knowing look. "I know, but just have faith. Everything will work out. You have to go now. Colonel Morgan will video call you soon and you're not allowed to be here for too long. Just know it will all work out but please be strong. For everyone down there." Gracie kisses my cheek before she starts to get up. "I love you Aunt Carly, and I'll always be watching over you. If you need me, I'm here but now you have to go." She says before she starts walking away._

"_Wait!" I call out. She stops and looks back. "You know. About me and your dad."_

"_Yeah." A hint of sadness appears on her face before a smile takes its place, "But everything will work out the way it is meant to. You will have a ring on your finger before you know it and it will be put there by the person who God intended for you." She says before walking into the bright light leaving me alone in her heaven._

_I look down at my left hand. Usually engaged women have engagement rings but I don't. Let's be honest, Freddie and I don't want to marry each other. It's just a compromise and I didn't want a ring on my finger reminding me of that compromise every single day. That's why we decided no engagement ring. I wonder what Gracie meant by the whole the person who is meant for me will put a ring on my finger. I know for sure it's not Freddie who is meant for me. This is all… just professional I guess. And the person meant for me is Gibby but he's gone. Soon I am brought back from my thoughts when I hear Freddie. Freddie? What is he doing here?_

"_SAM!" Freddie screams. I walk over to a small pond on the other side of the meadow and when I look into it, I see… Sam and Freddie. Freddie is cradling Sam as she is lying in the middle of the street near a hotel. A group of people gather around the two and Freddie shouts "Someone please call 911!" _

_I fall to my knees as I realize this is what Gracie meant when she said that Sam and Freddie would need me now more than ever. It's time I be strong. Suddenly the meadow and pond and everything surrounding me disappears and I'm in a cold, empty, white fog._


	21. iWatch Over You

**Author's Note: Okay, first off I want to seriously apologize to my loyal readers!  
>I know I took forever to update and it's only because I had writer's block with this chapter!<br>I hope you all aren't annoyed and are still into this story!**

**With that being said, I also promise that I will try my hardest to update as often as possible.**  
><strong>I've been spending too much time reading other stories and that doesn't really always cure writer's block.<strong>

**OH and I also started learning sign language. It's just cool. But I will focus on this story again!**

**Okay, now you all know the deal, please review! I appreciate every single review!**

**(This chapter is short, once again, I had trouble writing this but the next few chapters are flowing out of me already lol.)**

**- Em**

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><p>iWatch Over You<p>

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><p><em>Gracie's POV<em>

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><p>I walk into the bright light, which is actually the portal between my heaven and sector B of heaven, leaving Aunt Carly behind. I turn back for one last glance and I see her falling to her knees as she looks into lacus de una (pond of togetherness). Lacus de una is how I am able to watch over my family so I can feel like I'm still with them, like we're still together. I can tell Aunt Carly must have just seen the scene of mommy's accident and as much as I want to go back and console her, I know she will gather the strength on her own… she has to.<p>

I walk back into sector B and sit on a cloud waiting for Angie. Angie is my angel. Literally, she's my angel. There are two types of angels: patronus angels and amicus angels. Each living individual, good or bad, has a patronus angel which is their guardian angel. Each inhabitant of heaven has an amicus angel which is the angel that stays with them in heaven to be their friends and keep them company. Once a person dies, their patronus becomes their amicus. Angie is my amicus. She's here to keep me company and make me not feel alone. She's young like me, so we can always have fun with each other and pull pranks on the other inhabitants and angels in sector B.

Angie comes next to me, "So how did it go with your aunt?"

"It went well. I think she'll be able to make it through."

"You think she can gather enough strength to be a rock for everyone else down there?" Angie asks.

"She knows she has to, so she will."

"Did you talk to her about your Uncle Gibby?"

"Nope."

Angie pushes me a little bit, "Why not?"

"Because she's not meant to find out from me."

"But it would have given her some strength." Angie says, frustrated.

"I know, but trust me I know what I'm doing."

"If you say so." Angie says in her singsong voice.

I just roll my eyes. "Oh ye of little faith." I take a moment and glance over at the angel on my right, "Angie?" I ask.

"Hmm Gracie?"

"Will you do something for me?"

"Of course." Angie says. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go down there and be another protector for mommy."

"I'm not supposed to do that Gracie, you know that."

I know Angie is right, amicus angels aren't supposed to go down to earth but I wish… just ugh this isn't going to happen. I know each person has only one protector and no person or angel is supposed to tamper with that. "I know." I say in a small whisper.

"All you can do is go watch over them."

"I know. I'm going to go see what's going on."

"I'll be here waiting." Angie says.

I go back and sit besides lacus de una and watch as everything slowly unfolds.

I move my hands over the water and the picture begins to form, it's Aunt Carly and her Granddad sitting in front of her Pear laptop. They accept the video chat request and Colonel Morgan's face appears. "Carly. Mr. Shay." Colonel Morgan says.

"Uncle Roger! Hi." Aunt Carly says.

"Hiya Rog. How you doing, son?" Granddad Shay asks.

"I'm fine. How are you two doing?"

"Could be better." Aunt Carly says in a low whisper-like voice.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." Colonel Morgan says. I can tell by the expression on his face that he's really feeling Aunt Carly's pain and he hates that he has to be the one to tell her everything.

"I know. So… how- how did it happen?" Aunt Carly's voice is so soft and childlike at the moment.

"It happened on Saturday, March 17." Colonel Morgan starts.

"Yeah, that much I know. But how?"

"Well Gibby was at the airport…."

Aunt Carly cuts him off again, "Did you find out why he was at the airport?"

"We found that he booked at flight that day to go back toSeattle. He was at the airport when it happened." Colonel Morgan's voice begins to trail off.

"When what happened?" Granddad Shay and Aunt Carly say in unison.

"I checked the airport security cameras, talked to the detectives that handled this case and well… so Gibby was at LAX airport checking his bags in when he noticed a little boy who was wandering around the airport. The little boy was lost and apparently looking for his father but couldn't find him inside the airport and when Gibby was done checking his bags in, he noticed the little boy had walked outside. The little boy was walking into the traffic outside the "Departures" section at the airport and a cab was coming at the little boy. Gibby rushed and pushed the little boy out of the way only to get hit himself. He died on the spot." Colonel Morgan said, trying to be as strong as he possibly could.

"Oh my… NOO! Gibby! No!" Aunt Carly started crying and screaming again. She ran out of the room and into her room and Colonel Morgan and Granddad Shay finished their conversation and ended the video chat. Aunt Carly sat on her bed and cried.

I closed my eyes and began to whisper a whisper that would travel down all the dimensions separating heaven and earth, a whisper that only Aunt Carly would be able to hear. "Your story ended like this, but something better will come. Until than, you must be strong and have faith. She needs you. He needs you. Be the Carly Shay you were always meant to be. Be there for them. Be their best friend." I said. She gasped and stopped crying. I knew she heard me. She wipes away her tears and walks back to where her granddad is.

"I need to leave forSeattletonight." She says in a strong and confident voice.

"Carly, you know you don't have to leave so soon. You should stay and… just get over everything before you go back. You need time for yourself."

"No. Not right now. Not when things are happening over there."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Just trust me granddad. I'll be okay but I need to go back."

Granddad Shay put his head down in defeat. "If you say so. I will help you finish packing. You have a long drive ahead of you."

I smile as a ripple came across the pond. She knew what she had to do and now she is going to go do it. The picture distorted and a new one replaced it. It was mommy and daddy. Mommies lying in daddy's arms as the people still stand around them. Daddy is rocking back and forth with mommy in his arms.

"S-Sam… p-p-please… say something. Anything." Daddy says in a desperate voice. "You'll be okay, Puckett. You'll be okay. Nothing will happen to you. You'll be okay." He begins saying like it was a mantra.

The paramedics come and daddy helps put mommy on a gurney. Her eyes are closed but she's breathing. "Sam? Sam?" Daddy says as he gets in the back of the ambulance with her. "Come on Sam… come on, open your eyes. Talk to me. COME ON DAMN IT." Daddy says trying not to shout.

Mommy finally moves for the first time since being hit and she talks into the oxygen mask. "N-N-N…" she begins to say.

"Sam!" Daddy says relieved.

"N-N-N-Nub." Mommy manages to get out before she stops breathing.

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><p><strong>Author's Note (again): Don't forget to paste your favorite sentence from this chapter into the review!<strong>

**Yes, I will start writing more SEDDIE from next chapter on! I swear on turkey bacon (I love turkey bacon!)**


	22. iHospitals, Grandmas and Truths

**Author's Note:**  
><strong>Hey everyone! I really want to apologize for not updating in so long!<strong>  
><strong>I know you guys must hate me but it's because of college and classes and everything!<strong>  
><strong>I know I promised more updates and I never kept that promise but I really am sorry.<strong>  
><strong>I have had this chapter on my laptop for a while and I decided to finish it and post it.<strong>  
><strong>Sorry it isn't as long as my usual chapter!<strong>

**Once again, sorry for not updating but no I have not given up on this story!**  
><strong>I WILL continue it. My next update will probably be December 17th 2O11<strong>  
><strong>as that is when my classes end.<strong>

**For those of you who have stuck by me and this story, thank you so much!**  
><strong>To my PIC-BUDDY, S. Benson, sorry for my disappearance love. I missed you!<strong>

**Guys, please review!**  
><strong>I just want to make sure I haven't lost my readers or else<strong>

**after my classes end, I will just start the other Seddie story I have in mind.**

**Oh and HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!**  
><strong>Also, my birthday just passed so I finally turned 19 :)<strong>

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><p><em>Freddie's POV<em>

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><p>The rest of the day began to flash by in front of my eyes. I was helpless as I held Sam in my arms waiting for the ambulance to arrive. It took a good five minutes for the ambulance to get to our destination… but those five minutes felt like a century. I kept wondering <em>'what if it's too late?' 'What if they can't save her?'<em>

The last thing she said to me before she lost consciousness was "nub." Obviously. Such a Sam thing to say. I couldn't help but replay the events over and over in my head. Watching her run out of the hotel room. Watching the car hit her. _'She's going to be okay. She has to be okay.'_ As the medics put Sam on the gurney I called Melanie and Spencer, telling them to meet us at the hospital. Brad told me he would have his secretary bring my car over to the hospital using the spare key. But that was the least of my problems right now. I rode in the ambulance with Sam, watching the emergency medics attach her to some machinery. God I hate seeing her like this. I laid one soft and sweet chaste kiss on her lips, and I swear to God I thought I saw her lips twitch into a semi-smile for a second. But she wasn't breathing on her own and soon they had her connected to one of those respirator machines. I held her hand the whole ride to the hospital. It seemed like a never ending ride.

Finally we got to the hospital and they rushed her into the surgery ward. Now here I am, outside the surgery room where the doctors are doing whatever they have to. They haven't told me anything. I keep watching nurses and doctors pass me by and go into the room but no one will talk to me. WHAT THE FUCK! SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! I sit on the floor besides the door that leads into the room unable to deal with this any longer. I just want to know if she's okay. I just want her to be okay.

Soon I hear more footsteps. I look up to see Melanie, Spencer, Veronica and Brad running towards me. Melanie and Veronica in tears and Spencer's eyes blood shot. "What… could… how?" Melanie tried to say. Unable to speak, I just pull my knees closer to me and push my face into them, trying to hide my tears.

Suddenly I feel something pulling at my shirt. I look up to see Spencer pulling me up to my feet using my shirt collar. "How. Did. This. HAPPEN?" Spencer asked between his gritted teeth.

I wipe away the tears from my eyes and take a deep breath as I start to tell them everything from the supermarket to the hotel to the moment of the accident. I watch the varying emotions on their faces. Angry. Upset. Disappointed. "I know I pushed it too far back at the hotel but I didn't expect this to happen." I say in a small voice. I know it doesn't change anything but they needed to know.

"You… I just… my sister…" Melanie says between her tears sitting next to Veronica who is consoling her and in tears at the same time. Brad is leaning on the wall next to me and Spencer is standing next to where the girls are seated.

That's when it hits me… Lucy… where is Lucy?

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><p><em>Pam's POV<em>

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><p>"You know… you're not like most grandmas?"<p>

I raise my eyebrows at the sweet little girl on my couch. She's looks just like Sam and Melanie did when they were younger. Well minus the brown hair. "How so, angel?"

"Well first of all… normal grandmas aren't as young and as hot as you." Lucy says. I can't help but smile. Of course this is Freddie Benson's kid. Her attitude and manners just scream that she's his daughter. "And secondly, aren't grandmas supposed to bake cookies? And have candy and food to give their grandchildren?" And there it is… that's how I know this is Sam's kid.

I can't help but burst out into laughter. "Sorry kid, I'm not one to cook. I did start taking some classes to learn… I still suck though. So usually I just order out." I say. I walk into the kitchen and get some snacks, handing her a bowl of chips and a peppy-cola before putting on a DVD. "Don't worry, we can order in some Chinese."

"Okay great!" Lucy says all excited. Of course the thought of food gets her excited. She's such a… Sam. Oh Sam. I hope she's okay. She has to be okay. I wish I could be there at the hospital. I wish I could see my baby girl after all these years. God, I didn't even know about Lucy until Spencer and Melanie dropped her off.

"Hey? Grandma? Hey?" Lucy says snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Uh. Yes, angel?"

"I was asking you what movie we're going to watch but you were out of it. What's going on?"

"Nothing angel. Just thinking."

"About what?" Lucy asks eagerly.

"Nothing that you would understand, my sweet."

"Oh that's what you think, but I'm really smart." Lucy said proudly.

"Ah yes… but," just than the microwave goes off, signaling the popcorn was done. "be right back, sweetums."

"Kay grandma." Lucy said staring back at the television.

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><p><em>Lucy's POV<em>

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><p>Today for the first time I got to meet my mommy's mommy. Mommy would always tell me about her but I finally got to meet and spend time with her today. I guess like everyone else she didn't really know I existed until Uncle Spencer and Auntie Mel dropped me by. Then they started whispering things to her and grandma had a mini spaz attack but everything is fine now. Grandma and I have been spending the day together, getting to know each other and having fun. It's pretty cool. She isn't like other grandmas… but she's special and she's mine.<p>

Grandma walks into the kitchen to get the popcorn and a few seconds later her phone starts ringing. "Who's calling?" she yells from the kitchen.

I look onto the screen of her PearPhone and it said _'Honeybun._' Oh that must be her ambassador boyfriend that mommy told me about. "It's your lover booooy." I yell back. Just than I hear a crash in the kitchen. "Is everything okay grandma?"

"Yeah, I just dropped some bowls. I'll be right out." She replies.

"I'm going to pick up and tell him you'll be right out." I say as I hear more clinging in the kitchen. "Hello?" I say into the phone.

"PAM. Sam is back in Seattle. And she's been in a horrible accident. One of my guys was at the hospital and they heard the name Samantha Puckett. Pam, can you hear me?"

The phone dropped from my hand as grandma walked back into the living room. Mommy. In an accident?


End file.
